My weird way of looking at life

[Fiddles]

I have this really weird feeling that even though I'm liked by people in my friend group, no girls would really want to go out with me. I kind of have this weird thing where I just accept that no girls like me like me and I try no to worry about it too much. But sometimes it really gets to me. I find it hard to approach girls and I have no clue on how i'm ever going to ask a girl out.
I have been trying to work on my self confidence this year by joining school bands and talking to girls more than I used to. I just can't seem to get past the barrier of (A) Being really awkward (B) Thinking that no girls find Iim attractive.
I have the fear that if I try approaching the girl I like I will be rejected and will mess up the dynamic that my friend group has and everyone else's views on me. 

Sorry this thread is a bit messy its my first post and i'm very bad at expressing feelings I've never really talked about with anyone else.
Thanks to anyone that reads or attempts to help me out!

[baet123]

Hey Fiddles,

Welcome to the forums mate. This is a great non-judgmental space for you to post as much or as little as you feel comfortable doing so. Great to have you here mate! Also, don't stress the "messiness"of the post. It is not messy at all! It is fine man!

My name is Nick, nice to meet you by the way!

It is really brave of you to post and you should be proud mate. Takes a lot of courage to do so and I commend you. You did a really good job expressing your feelings by the way!

What you are experiencing is extremely normal and many many many guys feel exactly how you do but most guys aren't comfortable enough to tell people. What you are experiencing is part of growing up and from my experience women like confidence so working on your confidence will help you feel better about yourself. You are at an age also where things are really tough and there is a lot going on. Girls are and will be attracted to you so maybe when you feel comfortable enough, take the first step and casually ask them if they would like to go out sometime with you. Once you do it the first time you will build up huge confidence and will be extremely proud of yourself. Regardless of whether the response is YES or NO, it doesn't really matter. I have had my fair share of NO's LOL and so has every other guy. Don't stress it man! Your still young and you have a lot to give so be yourself and you do you man!

Hindsight is a great thing because when your in your mid twenties like me you will look back at this time of your life and probably think "jeez, I might have overthought things". I know I do.

Hope this helped.

Keep us posted.

All the best mate.

Nick

[Ell43]

Hey Fiddles,

I agree with Nick, I think you expressed your feelings really well, and I had no trouble understanding your post or what you're going through.

I loved Nick's advice and super hading coming from another guy who has been right where you are now. I guess I can offer some advice from the other side of the equation, the girls perspective lol.
I can almost guarantee you that the girls you are starting to get interested in are just as if not MORE nervous than you about the prospect of dating and while you are fearing being awkward and no girls ever liking you, they are probably thinking the same thing and stressing that no boy will ever ask them on a date either!

I think the best advice I can give you is take some of the pressure off and don't be in too much of a hurry to start dating or anything like that just yet (you've got a lot of that to come in the future haha). I think Nick is right, a lot of girls are attracted to confidence, and building that first is important. The other thing thats important though is knowing how to be a good friend to girls, before you start to trying and think of anything more than that.
It sounds like you've already made some awesome steps to achieving this, like joining the school bands and talking to girls more. Well done!! It takes quite a bit of time to get comfortable hanging out with the opposite gender, but I think you'll find the whole concept of asking a girl out ALOT easier if you just spend some time getting to know some girls with similar interests and creating friendships first.

High school is an awkward time for everyone Fiddles. Try to remember if you're feeling awkward and uncomfortable, so too are a lot of other people usually!

Ell