My mum is in hospital and I'm worried

[ThenephewSarK]

I have recently turned thirteen and a few weeks ago my mother was discharged after eight weeks in hospital. She still didn't feel well and she had to go back into hospital again today. I know she is getting the help she needs but I am still worried. My mum has had depression all her life but has seen a psychiatrist and is taking antidepressants. I'm worried because up until september this year I had never seen my mum cry. There is a lot of things going on at school and it is giving me a lot of stress. It just makes me want to cry out because my father works long hours and I don't get to see him for long each day. I really don't know what to do because my mother and I are so close. What can I do to help her?

[SubduedBlues]

Hi ThenephewSarK

Welcome to the BB Forums and thank you for reaching out.

I can sort of relate to where you are coming from, but from the other perspective. Back in 2007 I was extremely ill, making dozens of ambulatory trips to the hospital. My daughters (then 9 and 12 years old) were very worried about the possibility of losing their father. Often they would get up in the morning or come home from school to find out that I was back in the hospital again. This weighed very heavy on their minds and made it most difficult for them to concentrate on their studies.

My daughters made me a framed photo of me and them, with the words "Whatever happens, always remember N*** and A*** will always love you." I still have this on the wall in my room; and whenever I am feeling sad, the sight of it cheers me up.

The most important thing you can do for your mom is to be there for her. As a parent, I can tell you that without any doubt, whenever our children set their own desires aside to be there for us, it is one of the greatest feelings of love.

Best wishes
SB

[SourceShield]

Oh sweetheart!

Trust me, you're doing your best.

You're worried, because you care.

I would be more concerned if you werent so worried...but ease off now, okay?

I feel that the best thing that you can do, is not to create anymore stress for your Mum and Dad.

Continue to do your school work.

Help your Dad out at home, when and where you can.

Tell your Mum, as often as you can, that you love and support her...and your Dad too!

Your Mum would stress more, if she knew that you were so stressed about this...so, you're gonna have to be brave for her, when she cant be.

Read up, when you have the time, and get to know how this condition works...thatll help out heaps, so that when she is back home with you...you'll have info there to help out.

If school is stressful...please speak to a guidance counselor, or at least a teacher that you can confide in.

Share how it is for you with them...thats why theyre there.

Its there job to be there for the students!

Keep your chin up, brave one!

Stay in touch.

We are here for you.

MuchLove

[Cornstarch]

Hey ThenephewSarK,

It is very distressing for a child to see their mother hospitalised. Their illness is confusing, scary and their well-being can bring up a lot of anxiety and essentially make us anxious people over time. Separation anxiety is completely normal.

Both of my parents have/had mental illnesses and both were hospitalised throughout my entire childhood. When I was born I was taken to a psychiatric hospital with my Mum. When I was 16/17 my Dad was in hospital on and off for approximately 9 months. When he got home, Mum was then placed into the same hospital. It was a swinging door of parental mental illness and anxiety for my siblings and I.

I totally get it.

You need more support, are there school counsellors? Can you disclose to teachers what is going on at home. I know they are not always sympathetic but maybe one will be?

[romantic_thi3f]

Hey ThenephewSarK,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for reaching out to us. I'm sorry that you've had to go through this; I know it's always hard watching mum cry. Have you got some people around you that you can talk to about this? Does your Dad know how you're feeling? Maybe you could try talking to other family, friends or even a school counsellor? You don't need to do this on your own.

I think that your mum is in the right hands when she's at hospital - she's safe, she's being cared for and she has a whole team of people who want her to get better. But everything she needs from you is kind of the same - she wants you to be well, cared for and healthy too.

So even though it may not seem like you're doing much, I bet your mum really wants you to be well now so that when she gets out you can be well together. Little things like going out with your mates, getting some exercise, having fun or eating well is still helpful because then your mum can know you're doing okay too.

Do you get to see your mum much? Maybe there's things that you could make and bring for her to decorate her room (or space) - maybe she likes flowers, or you could draw something if you like drawing, or cook her something if you like cooking. Lots of mums like photos - maybe it would be nice to get a frame and put you all in it to keep by her bed. I'm sure that whatever it is it will be great because it's coming from you 🙂