well I guess it all started back in May 2009 when I had a fall at work and hurt my back I have disc degeneration and fibromyalgia, I worked at a supermarket in the deil and continued working there with my injury up until November 2009 as I was being bullied by my manager and the lady who was in charge of OHS.
Because it was a workplace accident I was was having to deal with people that never gave a crap about me or my mental health they just fed me more and more pain medication to try and shut me up. in 2010 I was scheduled to have back surgery but because work compo wouldn't help pay my medical bills anymore an they gave a the flick I was forced to seek legal advice, so with the supermarket "Doctors" saying there was nothing wrong with me and clearly in my MRI there is evidence my surgery was cancelled.
So that was the first huge blow to me when I was pining all my hopes on this surgery thinking it would take away all my pain and suffering I began to withdraw from everyone I loved my family , my partner and my friends well what was left of them. Because no one was looking after my mental health and all they cared about was my physical health it began to get worse and worse until one night I blacked out and when I came to I had self harmed.
My partner was no help he just packed me up and sent me back to my parents as he wasn't strong enough to help me when I needed him the most, still with having to deal with the supermarket and lawyers I was getting worse but I slowly began to be able to get dressed in the morning and be able to step outside without being frighten.
When I moved back up the coast to my partner things where ok in the beging until he started to become more and more aggressive towards me but stupidly I stayed because I felt like I had owe him because everything was my fault I continued to stay with him for another 3 years until enough was enough and I finally was strong enough to get out of the relationship.
After 4 or 5 months after the break up I meet a guy and had sort of a one night fling with him but I ended up falling pregnant but I couldn't have it due to my back I would be bed bound and also I could never bring a child into this world without being financially stable cause its just not fair and the father wanted nothing to do with the baby so I had to terminate the pregnancy which I regret every single day of my life. Also the father gave me a nasty little surprise with after telling me that he had no STDs and that he was clean I ended up with herpes.
Once I had come to terms with everything and started to heal my parents ended up splitting up .
Honestly I don't no what I ever did to anyone to be served all these terrible things and by the way I had only just turnt 19 when I hurt my back and I've just turnt 24.
I have good days and bad these past few months have been bad and ive started up self harming as it relases all the pain inside, ive sort medical help but some days I just think why bother even going on why bother even smiling.
