My Introduction - it doesn't really make sense (sorry)

[PoisonRose]

I was a little sceptical about posting. I have never really done anything like this before, but it seems like I have no where else to turn. I have no idea what I am doing with my life, in terms of my studies, career, family. Just everything. I find myself crying everyday because I don't know what to do. I have tried to tell my mum and my sister but they just result in telling me how hard they have it and that my issues are small and I shouldn't worry about it. I told my mum that I wanted to see a psychologist, because I honestly think that the way I feel everyday isn't normal. Her reply was that she needs to see a psychologist, because of all the stress she has.

I am sure you have guessed. My mother and I don't have the best relationship. Most of the things that happen at home are put onto me for blame. And hey maybe I am to blame. I am 22 and can't keep my room clean so I get called Lazy which is understandable because I should know better. It's just that every time I come home from work I feel so drained, that I don't want to do anything. So I ended up throwing my clothes somewhere and it builds. It's my fault for this because I understand that it makes my mother angry. My mother will make my sister her lunches and she will turn to me and tell me to get my ass downstairs and make myself something because she now has to go make my dad something. I feel like an outcast. It's petty and I shouldn't complain. But it's just that every time I try to reach out for help I just feel rejected.

I feel like I have so much pent up emotion that I am going to explode.

I honestly don't know if any of this makes sense. I am literally just blotting down my emotions as they come, so I am sorry if it doesn't make any sense whatsoever.

My dad won't say anything he will just side with my mother. I have thought of moving out, but it is so expensive. So then I think to myself I am lucky to have a house and a roof over my head. Maybe I am just being silly and that is just how it is meant to be.

My life at the moment has no direction and fells like it has no support from the people I have spent most of my life relying on. Maybe I am just being a baby and need to grow up (which is what I have been told by multiple people). So I don't know.

I am just confused and I don't know who to turn to or what I should do. I just need help.

[Sophie_M]

Hi PoisonRose,

Welcome to the forums. - we're so glad you decided to reach out today althought you were feeling a little sceptical. We understand that it can be really confusing and difficult taking a first step in a direction when you're a young person figuring out what you'd like to do. We're so sorry to hear that you're crying every day and you're having difficulties at home. This sounds really tough. Please know that you don't have to sit with these feelings alone.

If you're feeling unsure if you'd like to study, it might be worth taking a look through the courses that are available to you at some universities or colleges in your area. You can also often have a conversation with careers counsellors available at universities.

If you feel the need to talk this out with someone, we would recommend that you get in touch with Kids Helpline - https://kidshelpline.com.au/  It might help to talk it out whenever you're feeling overwhelmed. Kids Helpline counsellors can be contacted 24/7 by young people 25 and under via telephone and also via webchat if you go through the website provided.

Headspace is another organisation we would recommend, they are specifically for young people aged 12-25 and they offer a wide range of services including counselling and group programs. They also have a group chat on their webpage - https://headspace.org.au/

Thanks again for reaching out here. If you'd like to post more, please feel free to tell us more about yourself such as what you currently are doing for work, what activities you like to do, or what kind of things you find interesting.

[Ggrand]

Hello PoisonRose,

A very warm welcome to the forums..

I’m sorry your struggling with your mental health and your family isn’t very supportive..

PoisonRose, if you feel you need to see a psychologist, you can do so by going to your GP, and telling him/her your thoughts and feeling..Your GP will be able to do an assessment of your mental health and if your GP feels you benefit from a mental health care plan...they will organise for you to see a professional for counselling...You don’t need your parents permission as you are over 16 years old...

I can understand that when you get home from work you are exhausted and don’t feel to do much..but I’m wondering if you could buy a linen basket and put your clothes straight into that for washing..it will be easier for you to keep your room clean...which will make your mum feel happier..I did this for my 2 sons room..

I echo what our lovely Sophie say about different courses available in your area...and talking to a careers advisor is good to help you discover your interests..

Im really sorry your crying every day, that can be exhausting..when you’re feeling down and sad..do you think you might be able to find something that you like to do...to distract those sad thoughts..maybe listening to some music, reading, journaling your days events, thoughts and emotions is a good way to help you understand how different things that you do daily make you feel..

Talk here anytime you feel up it PoisonRose, we are here to try to support you through this hard time your travelling through..

My kindest thoughts with care Dear PoisonRose..

Grandy..

[tranzcrybe]

Hi PoisonRose,

Thank you for posting - I think you explain your situation perfectly well.

At 22, your are at a crossroad in your life - neither child, nor 'lived' adult; and you may be struggling with the incongruity of where you are and where you feel you want to be (notwithstanding financial limitations).

Branching out is always scary as you leave comfort and security for a world of compromise and doing without (the price of your freedom?). Many in your situation will recall 'shared house' living and all that entails - experience involves taking the good with the bad (although, curiously, you will find yourself reflecting on the 'worst' times with much fondness in years to come - I had a bean bag, a portable tv, and a bare bulb; this is living!).

The feelings of ostracisation may be real or just invoked by your inner desires to break free (is your sister younger than you?). I don't think you are being particularly petulant, but you may find yourself constantly juxtaposing your past and future self - very confusing indeed.

BTW, sorry to say, your dad is absolutely right not to get involved - trust that he feels for you very much, and don't blame him for his better sense, lol.

Hope this provides some perspective for your current state of mind.

Regards,

t.