much needed boy advice x2

[igo]

Hi all, I don't know if any of you remember me from my last post 'much needed boy advice' about the boyfriend who was seeing his ex the whole time we were together.

Well, Ive been doing well, and Im proud of myself. We'd began to work through our shit whilst making sure him and I focussed on our year 12 whilst making sure we were still there for each other. Well like that was gonna end well tbh. I went to a party where his ex girlfriend was there and rumour spread through the party that they were still seeing each other. I made sure in a mature fashion to pull her aside and question it because i believe it was only fair for me to know what was going on. Anyway she confirmed it was once.

Ever since her and I have been talking and she's been really supportive but tonight I questioned him about it and he told me nothing happened, then messaged me telling me he needed to get help from his mum for something. Next minute, i get a message from her telling me that he's messaging her questioning how i know about this time he saw her etc.

Anyway he came back and I made him swear on my life that nothing happened. And he did. He swore on my life that he never did anything. Something i believed he would never put at risk for anything. I know thats the stupidest thing but I'm hoping you can understand why that hurts.

So we aligned messages, her and i, they met at a specific time on a specific day and I found messages where he disappears for a certain period time and when he comes back I question where he was. In these messages he tells me that his family is 'having a games night', how 'i should be there with him' and that he 'misses me'.

I'm heart broken again.

Thanks for reading guys xx

[quirkywords]

Welcome igo,

I remember your last post and am sorry you are back again with disappointing news but I am confused a bit.

Is this the same boyfriend yo wrote about in your first post who you were leaving.?

I am glad you have been concentrating on your studies and I hope you still are.

I think you will have learnt a hard lesson this time.

If you reread the posts that people wrote on her last thread, you will find helpful suggestions.

It is time to concentrate on your self and your studies .

Thanks for sharing your story and for the update.

Feel free to post here as much as you like.

Quirky

[Ell43]

Hi Igo,

Unfortunately I'm only new to the forums, so I didn't see your original post. But I'm super glad to hear you'd been doing well since then and focusing on your year 12!

Sounds like you've been having a pretty crappy time lately, and this boy sounds like he's been pretty dishonest and maybe hasn't had your best interests at heart.

While I haven't been in the exact same situation as you, I did go through my fair share of relationship drama throughout year 11 and 12, and did spend some time messaging ex's of my ex and cross referencing our stories ect. The BEST advice I received at the time was from my Mum, who just reminded me that I literally have the rest of my life to worry about my love life, but I only have a few months (for you it might even be a few weeks) left to give my year 12 studies my best efforts.
The summer after year 12 is very long and AMAZINGLY FUN, especially if you can look back on that final month of year 12 and be happy with how hard you worked. I guess the advice I would give you is try (I know it almost seems impossible when all this is unfolding around you) to the best of your ability to tell yourself that "yes this stuff with my boyfriend is really important, but it can wait a few weeks, while I give all my energy to school, and I'll deal with it when I'm done". (I used to tell himself I could be sad about my break up after my last exam haha)
The weird thing is, after a few weeks of focusing on school, you might find you look at the situation with this guy a bit differently. Like I said, the summer is SOOOO much fun.... you might decide that with all that exciting stuff infront of you, you don't want to waste a second worrying about someone that doesn't care as they should about you.
I totally get why him saying he swears on your life nothing happened would be heartbreaking. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I wonder if the silver lining of him saying that is that it proves to you once and for all that he's not the person you want to spend your time with, if he's that careless with statements that mean so much?

I hope something I have said has slightly helped Igo. Hang in there, it's such a stressful time right now. I think you're doing a great job!!
Please write back if you have any other questions or things you just want to vent about!!! We're all here to help!