mending a persona

[quitery]

Ever since I was a child I've always had a persona, for me it's a way to hide myself and shield me from being hurt. Lately this mask I have on is starting to break, it is hard nd tiring to keep it up all the time, so I cancel plans with friends and families even though I want to be with them but the burden to put on the mask is too tiring. How do I fix it?

[PamelaR]

Hello Quitery

Welcome to Beyond Blue forums. So pleased you've found your way here. You'll find the people here are caring, supportive, friendly and respectful of privacy.

To have a mask or a persona is normal. It happens all the time. You could say that we have a home persona, work persona, school persona, friend/social person. They can be all different. I know it because I've lived my life behind a persona. So really you have nothing to be concerned about.

You'll find I'm the type of person who likes to ask questions because it helps me to give you support. There is no pressure though to answer any of my questions.

If your mask is not doing it's job at the moment, maybe there is something you need to look at in your life. Talking with people will help you do this. Do you have family or friends you trust that you can talk to? If not, maybe think about going to your doctor and asking for a referral to a counsellor.

Has there been anything happen in your life recently that has caused you to feel the way you are at the moment? Again, you don't have to say anything you don't want to or that is too personal.

Think about whether you would find it helpful to talk with someone online or on the phone. Support services include:

Beyond Blue Support Service 1300 224 636

LifeLine 13 11 14

Kids helpline (12-25 year olds) 1800 551 800

Let us know how you're feeling if you want to.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[Croix]

Dear Quitery~

As PamelaR says everyone has a mask of some sort, it allows us to function in society, and lets us keep a distance from those we are with.

As I found out it can go wrong. Normally the mask is not too different from the real me. If someone asks how I am I would probably say OK. If I am not OK however that's a problem. The worse you feel inside the more effort it takes to pretend to be OK. This is not only exhausting over time but also has a bad effect. You end up feeling all the world is outside, and hasn't a clue, and you are all alone on the inside.

You also end up thinking something is wrong with you because you have to pretend to be something you are not.

So how do you fix this? Well the best way is to seek help. That basically means talking to a GP and being diagnosed. You may be like many and have anxiety or depression, I do not know, that is the GP's job.

Talking to your parents may be the way to start. If you get on with them reasonably well I'd expect that they are like most parents and when they understand something is wrong will want to help and take you to the doctor. If not some family member might be better.

Failing that PamelaR has listed some other places to start with.

It can be hard explaining, both difficult to get all the facts together, and probably embarrassing or worrying too. I'd suggest writing everything down first then reading out or sharing the paper, it does make it easier.

You are welcome to talk here anytime

Croix