Hey everyone, this one might be a bit long but bear with me.
Roughly two years ago, I moved from New Zealand to Australia and the first place I lived at was a residential college. Most of you will be familiar with the reputation that residential colleges have, especially when it comes to alcohol and partying. Naturally, I found it somewhat hard to fit in, since I don’t drink (alcohol intolerance, made my 18th birthday really fun). There was one other person in my college who did not drink too, and we became very close friends. We were so close that our mutual friends would compare us to an old married couple.
Unfortunately, at the start of this year I decided to move out of the residential college, I was fed up with the constant partying and my scholarship had finally expired. My friend stayed however. So around the start of the semester I messaged her asking if she wanted to hang out sometime, she said yes and we arranged a date and time. However, the day of our meetup rolled around and she was sick, and could only see me for half an hour, or we could postpone to another week. I said I understood, though I joked “but I can’t possibly last another week without you!” we used to always say things like this to each other, so I thought it was fine.
It was not fine, she said that my joke was super creepy, and she was not comfortable seeing me. I apologise and say I will give her however much distance she needs. Roughly a month later I message her again apologising and saying that I never meant to creep her out, and that I am willing to do anything to mend the friendship. She responded saying that I am not forgiven, and that upon reflecting on our friendship, she was always uncomfortable around me and did not enjoy any of the time we spent together. She then finished by saying I should never contact her again, and any attempts to convince her otherwise will make her more sure of her decision. I tried asking what is it that I do that makes her uncomfortable since she had never brought it up with me previously, but she then proceeded to block me on all forms of social media.
Thank you for reading that small tale of woe, it has been two months since this incident has happened and I still feel worthless sometimes, I wonder was I so stupid and shortsighted that I never noticed her being uncomfortable for two years and I still have fears about ever finding someone I’ll be so close to ever again, I hope there are people out there who can relate.
