Life is unfair

[Blue67]

Does anyone else just get so angry at how your life turned out? I had these friends who turned out to be so mean it really ruined me. I am now so angry that they can live their happy lives like I meant nothing to them! Isn't life so unfair! Why does this happen to me? I just don't know how to move on from this anger and sadness😡😡😡😡 

[geoff]

dear Blue, we go through life learning so much, sometimes we are able to take on board what we have learnt and experienced, while other times we turn away and possibly reject, only because we aren't ready to accept what is or has happened.

Why do I say this because we think that we have so many friends in life, but actually we don't, they are only acquaintances and more than likely wanting to use us as best as they can, or take advantage of what ever they can.

Someone who is very close to you can tell you something serious, it may sound to be hurtful, but because you and this person know each other so much it doesn't matter because as the both of you have being growing up, that's what has always happened, but take the opposite, and you believe that this particular friend/friends is a true person who will stand up to what ever is said to you, but they're not, they verbally abuse you and have no regard towards supporting you, then these people are never going to be your friend.

As we grow older we learn to know whether or not someone will respect, support and help us through difficult times, but it's never an easy distinction, because we can still make mistakes.

You say 'they can live their happy lives', well maybe, but it might only be a pretend happiness, showing off their supposedly happy exterior, but we really don't know.

One way you maybe lucky that you have now woken up and realise the circumstances at a young age, tht being said, it still feels awful, but you have to break away from what these 'friends' say or do, they are only going to pull you down further, and that's not a good direction that you should take.

The question remains if these people are at your school/uni, and if so, then that doesn't matter, just breakaway from them all, and what ever they say to you or about you, just say to yourself that these guys will never or could never be my friend.

How about going to your school counsellor and ask him/her about how to strengthen your self esteem and confidence, in other words you need to put a 'code of silence' ( Get Smart).

Would be pleased to hear back from you. Geoff.

[_NaturalTalent_]

Hey Blue,

I hate hearing that people have been done over by people they thought were true friends. Ive been through it more times than I can remember, mind you I have never forgotten the people who did it to me.

Unfortunately there are too many people out there who are just out for themselves and everything is a competition to them. When you start to win their competition they get jealous and have to beat you down. It is near impossible to spot these people before they start slipping up, unless they are so used to doing it they don't act anymore and pretty much tell you what their like before you get too close...

The best thing you can do is decide not to let others ruin your life, when they first start showing signs, begin to distance yourself from them. These sort of people turn on you real quickly when their not getting anything from you anymore.

Now im not saying that protects you from the pain, as a good person can get close to others really quick and have their heart broken just as easily. However once you decide, that if you don't matter to them why should they matter to you, its a lot easier to accept them for who they are and let go. The pain hangs around for awhile, but you protect yourself from further pain..

There does come a time in life where you just begin to be more wary of others and their actions, but you are never safe from those who just want to get ahead or come out on top.

But do you remember the 'popular' people and the bullies from school? Their going be on the bottom when the next stage of life comes around, their going to remember the good people that were around them and regret their actions. Same goes for fake friends and users, once their source dries up and moves on, they have nothing left to leach off.

They will remember you and regret the way they treated you because your no longer there for them, they become very lonely people in the end too. They may appear happy at the moment, but it doesn't mean they are and it doesn't mean they will be. They get little perks off others once you leave, but be assured, those people will leave them when they wake up too.

In short, don't let those people that have deceived you and left your life get you down, your the better person and WILL be better off in the end! Take it from someone who has been used and abused by just about everyone for about 15 yrs, all those people have either faded into dust, lost or ended their own lives.

Don't let them make you be them!

[Blue67]

Hi Geoff, 

Thank you for that reply! It was helpful. But they still seem to haunt me. I moved away from them a year ago and have unfriended them on social media, yet they still ruin and run my life. I trusted them and they really hurt me, i just dont know how to move passed this. I had trouble fitting in at my new school finding friends and settling in. I get so angry sometimes and I'm not an angry person! I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone because they all say, they are gone get over it but I just can't 😣😣😡😡

[_NaturalTalent_]

Its not as easy as 'Just getting over it' Blue, we all know that here.

Give it some time and things will fade, they will get easier, but you will never forget because its a huge learning curve.

You really should go find a GP your comfortable with and have a chat with them.

Ive had periods of (and am going through one right now) having a very short temper and easily snapping at people. The thing is if they know whats going on they wont hold it against you. If they can see it in you, the pain etc, they understand its not them.

Don't focus on trying to move past it Blue, let it run its course, focus on continuing to live and do what you need to do and love to do, the rest will come with some time.

Keep coming back here to talk though if you find it helps, sometimes just chatting and having someone reply (or acknowledge you) can be very very powerful.

[Blue67]

Thank you NaturalTalent! That has really helped! ☺☺☺☺☺

[_NaturalTalent_]

Thank you too Blue,

It is really nice to have my effort appreciated, especially when im in a horribly dark place I cant manage to talk about at the moment.

[Blue67]

Well NaturalTalent if you ever need to talk I'm all ears! I'm a great listener 😁

[_NaturalTalent_]

Lol thankyou, I have been trying to get there, but it is helping talking to others about their issues. Ive always been interested in mental health and being able to use my experience in order to help others has always given me a boost.

Im starting to chase down an research studies based around it to try and get into the field. I already work for hospitals within the government so ive already got that foot in the door.

Sometimes I look back on some of the things ive written here and just think, geeze that's good i wonder if i could I use this as a reference?? lol

[mummasingh]

Life turns out the way it does by the choices we make and how we see each situation.. Sometimes bad things happen for no reason but how you deal with the storm is wether you see a rainbow through it.... Just think.... Your in control of ur own life and only you can change it