Knowingly repeated a move that I knew would have bad consequences, but I did it anyway.

[hpdellibm]

None of the names in this are real. Only for ease. A fair bit ago.. my friend (Joseph) liked somebody that I liked (Amanda), but she was in a relationship. Joseph was friends with the person's boyfriend (Mark). So eventually Mark and Amanda broke up and not long after Joseph got together with Amanda. This caused Mark and Joseph to create a feud between them and stop being friends. I promise this is important and relevant, you can probably see where it's going by the title.

Joseph and Amanda lasted a long while. Amanda started messaging me and broke up with him (she knew I liked her). At the time, I was feeling mistreated by Joseph and another friend, so I didnt rly care.Amanda and I start getting close and eventually get together. At the same time I cut off ties with Joseph bc I was mad that I thought I was being mistreated. I traded a best friend of multiple years for someone I had known for one year. Amanda and I did not last and it took awhile for Joseph and I to talk again, but it was never really the same. Eventually Amanda and Joseph were thinking of getting together, some friends and I didn't like that, as last time they got hurt. They found out and got pretty mad (bc we were talking behind their backs about it). I felt I had betrayed my best friend twice. Now to current day Mark and I become closer friends coming into this year, he started liking a girl and I tried keeping my distance from her. Eventually I stopped distancing bc of our group and slowly started to like her. I got annoyed that Mark wouldn't pursue her so I tried to to convince him too. I started becoming good friends with her. Mark got suspicious and I think jealous, he was often hostile and sarcastic. I knew I should've stopped hanging with her one on one, I knew it was bad, I didn't tell anyone and I kept doing it. I betrayed my friend for a girl. I think I was mad I was being mistreated again because of the hostility, which was partly my fault anyway. It started getting bad, so we told him nothing was happening (true). He has since stopped talking to me properly since.I traded my friend for a girl knowing the consequences and now I feel terrible, why? I feel like I'm a bad person. I am honestly scared I will do the same thing in my new group. I always like people I shouldn't and end up hurting someone. Someone who knew us both was on the bus today. He knew and was acting different and I felt horrible for ages. Have I really messed up this time? I rly dont like myself rn tbh.

[Guest_9809]

Hi there hpdellibm, and welcome to the BB Forums.

Firstly, apologies for it taking some time for anybody to reply to you. This is something BB tries to avoid, but sometimes it happens where posts get missed when they come through overnight and have thus been pushed back a few pages on the New Posts list by the time people are up and about. There are also a few of the usual people who would normally reply, away yesterday and today.

I am really sorry to hear that you find yourself in this difficult situation. Unfortunately I am not a young person, and nor do I have any real experience in what you are going through here.

So all I can offer you at this stage is my care and concern for you. I am also hoping that by replying to you now, it will put your thread back into a more prominent position on the Forums. This will hopefully allow someone else who will be able to help and advise you, to spot your post and reply to you.

In the meantime, I would encourage you to have a browse of other existing threads on the Young People forums. Some of them may offer you some insight into your current predicament. Please stay with us hpdellibm, and thankyou for your patience.

Taurus

[white knight]

Hi hp, welcome

I get where you are with this.

See, O joined the air force when 17, then a prison officer at 21yo, then security etc. I also played footy.

In each of the above there were unwritten rules with men, rules that although unwritten and not often talked about, are nevertheless firm.

Sometimes we grow up and for whatever reason we miss out on learning this "street wisdom" meaning learning the hard way....as in your case.

So what did you do wrong? Probably not waiting a reasonable time after your friends split with a girl before you date her. That lack of time portrays you stole her. Guys feel resentment for such eagerness to encroach onto their patch.

Mateship runs deep. I hope this experience will transpire into some values that cherishes your mateship so you have friendships that lsdt a lifetime.

You cannot unravel the past. And worry wont heal it.

Google this

Topic: worry worry worry- beyondblue

Tony WK