Is there something wrong with me?

[caaat_b]

Over the last 2 years there has been a girl who makes my life hell. She is horrible to everyone, but they all seem to let her get away with it. Recently she decided my best friend is her best friend and to be honest I haven't dealed with it well. I have come home everyday crying and my mum was not happy.

She spoke to my teacher about how she has treated me over the last two years and I was sure things would be resolved. I was wrong

She acted as the victim when confronted by the teacher and claimed my mum had yelled at her. My "best friend" comforted her and called me a bitch. I tried calling her but she is cutting me out.

I have become the bad guy in the situation and I don't know what to do. Everyone seems to hate me.

I have spent the day crying uncontrollably. I wanna hide in a hole.

Please help. 

[Zeal]

Hi, and welcome to the forum!

I'm sorry to hear that this girl has been mistreating you for so long. It sounds as though she could have personal issues or hang-ups (which is no excuse for mistreating others) that spur her to keep acting out like this. This is often the case with bullies. They will tease others or put others down to make themselves feel better or more in-control, because this is the only way they know how to function. It's sad, and it causes emotional turmoil for others who don't deserve it, like you.

It's a real shame that your best friend feels that you're the "bad guy" in this situation. Interpersonal misunderstands are common (especially in high school), which is frustrating. The girl who bullies you and others probably knows how to get sympathy from people. Perhaps she told your best friend some false information. Right now, I feel that it would be best for you to give this bully and your best friend space, and hopefully they allow it. If the bully confronts you, perhaps calmly say "Sorry, but I'm not ready to talk much yet", and walk off. This is a neutral comment to make, and it would be hard to take offence to this. If she decides to push you further emotionally, just be strong and keep walking, or perhaps go to talk to someone else (but not to talk about this situation). It's best not to spread information about this, as people can pass it on to others incorrectly, or misunderstand what you said, which could cause problems for you.

For the moment, try to focus on your schoolwork, sport and other activities. If you stay strong and act calm, this situation will hopefully start to become less heated. After a little time, your best friend may realise she made a mistake calling you a bitch and shutting you out, and want to talk to you.

Feel free to post back here 🙂

Best wishes,

SM

[White_Rose]

Hello Caaat

I also welcome you to the BB forums. Well done for writing here as many people find it daunting.

Bullies are a menace, particularly those like the one you have encountered. SM has given you some great advice on handling this situation. The best thing is, as she says, to stay away from both girls and give a general answer if they speak to you. It's best to be in a group if the bully speaks to you as they will see who is being horrible.

Bullies frequently lie to others to appear the victim and gain everyone's sympathy, but if you refuse to respond, and by that I mean just give a gentle answer, then it will be obvious who the bully is. With your friend, I expect she will eventually see through the bully. After a while the bully finds people moving away as they discover how mean she is.

If you are becoming very distressed over this I suggest you phone the Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800. Let your mom know you are going to do this so that she can help as well. Or go to their website www.kidshelpline.com.au  This organisation is set to help young people with various problems at school or elsewhere. This includes bullying.

Makes friends with someone else because we all need friends. Please continue to write in here and we will be here to support you.

Mary

[geoff]

dear Caaat.b, it's so upsetting when people bully you as well as now your best friend has turned on you, it's very hard not to be in contact with these kids so it makes it difficult not to be intimidated, which I'm very sorry for.
Could you google this 'how to stop someone bullying me', because when you do then it will open up other choices of how to cope with these kids.
I certainly know that it's not going to improve over night, but it may give you some strength and remember there will be other kids that they do exactly the same to who feel as they need a friend, just like you. Geoff.