Confused.. help

[ace1998]

Hi everyone.. I just joined beyondblue because I've been feeling lost lately. 

It's been a month since I've been feeling this way. It started from the point I had a fight with my boyfriend and how I felt so upset by it but then it just went out of control. I spent 2 whole weeks just crying, feeling like a mess. I became stressed about him, my last year of school (year 12) and just family problems going on in my life. I didn't think any of these things bothered me until i started feeling anxious about everything. Having random panic attacks. Then after that, I've just been feeling numb. Like my boyfriend will tell me something nice and it will make me happy or a movie im watching will make me laugh, but at the same time I just feel numb. Like I have 0 feelings towards anything. I also have intrusive thoughts, especially like "do you even want to be with him?" and this scares me because I deeply love my boyfriend, who i've been with for 5 years. We have a good relationship so I do not understand why this is happening to me. It's like i want him around, to love me and i want to love him but my insides are just.. numb. Please help guys.. what is going on. And also, I spoke to a psych and she said she see's mild depression but I don't know, I just feel horrible.. 

[La_ney]

Hey there,

I'm also new here and I completely understand what you are going through, I've recently been bit with the same bug about my partner, it's been persistent for a couple of days now. 

Have you ever suffered from OCD before? I'm only asking because I'm constantly plagued by intrusive thoughts, have been most of my life which brings about high levels of anxiety. I've had more horrifying intrusive thoughts, but the fact now my partner has come into it, it's a lot more hurtful.

Nothing has really worked for me yet, but I would suggest for the time being just think about him, what it would be like without him, I've been doing this and it's upsetting, but because it's upsetting me this much, it reminds me that I do love him. Your mind will try and convince you that you don't love him or you should break up, and it's an all out war in your brain (it even tries to convince me that it's not the anxiety), try as hard as you can to seperate that from the positives, as I've been doing, it's anxiety and it's not you doing this, just remember. 

[Doolhof]

Hi Ace and La_ney,

Life can seem a little confusing and distressing at times...well actually very much so at times! I would like to suggest that you both try and find as much help as you both can at this time, so your issues do not increase and become worse.

Have either of you used the Beyond Blue call service on 1300 22 4636? I have used this service, the people are very helpful and may be able to direct you to people who can assist you.

Do you both have Drs who you can talk to about how you are feeling? Do you have supportive family and friends?

Relationships of any kind are not always easy to deal with.

Maybe you could get out pen and paper and write down the good things about your boyfriend and then make another list and write down the things you don't like about your relationship.

Then try and think of ways you could make things better.

Also think about things you could do on your own to help you feel happier and more satisfied with life.

Do a little research on depression, you might find some great little tips on how to help yourself feel better and to understand this illness.

Hope some of this helps you both!

Cheers, from Mrs. Dools