im only fourteen

[ofmiceandmen]

I honestly don't know what to do anymore and I think I need help but im scared. Just everyday is so hard to do anything and it feels like a vicious, never-ending cycle of sadness. I am so scared to get help, I don't know what I would say or what I would do. I feel like my dad (I have divorced parents) wouldn't believe me and my little sister would see a side of the world that I really don't want her to see at a young age (11).

But on the other hand, I don't want to keep feeling like this. Music has helped me get this far but its like a nightmare. No matter how fast I run, I won't move. I've taken those online depression tests and they all come back with depressed but I can't take that seriously. I just want to feel happy again.

[Jo3]

Hi ofmiceandmen

Oh I wish I could just hug you.  Sending you a cyber hug.

At 14 and you are feeling like this and what you and your little sister have gone through, it's really sad.

From what I am reading that your dad won't believe you - has something happened to you or your sister? Are you living with your mum or your dad? Can you open up to one of them? Or what about at school, is there someone at school you can talk to. I think you need to get things off your chest and talk, pls even if you can't just phone the number on the top of here and speak to a counsellor.  They are here to listen and give advice and support.  And if you find if difficult to phone and speak to someone then you can use their web chat where you can type to someone online.

I'm glad that music is helping you. I hope that you can come back on and chat again,

Take care

Jo

[hopless_amp_helpless]

Hi Ofmiceandmen,

First of all I want to say how happy I am that at such a young age you have the courage to seek help on this forum and that you have recognised that you have a problem and want to get help for it, that is a massive first step!

May I ask what kind of a relationship you have with your dad? Are you close to him? What about your Mum? Could you talk to her?

You never know, they may be more understanding than you think!

I don't know if I can offer any advice for you as you are only 14 and I'm not sure if you can go to see a doctor on your own but I'm sure if you spend some time reading Beyond Blue's website, you will find loads of information on how to get help and where to find it.

I realise this much information can be overwhelming for someone suffering with depression but please don't be discouraged. Try reading a little information at a time so you don't give up.

Do you have a counsellor at school that you'd feel comfortable talking to? What about a friend you can trust?

I know I don't know you but I am so proud of you for having the guts to admit you have a problem.

I am 35 and I have struggled with depression most of my life. I was about 15 when I noticed something wasn't quite right but I didn't get help for it.

I wish I had realised I had a problem then and got treatment but I believe everything happens for a reason.

So please seek some kind of help. You are young and you have your whole life ahead of you so PLEASE get some help so that you can feel happy again!

Take care ~ Kylz

[SubduedBlues]

Tell your dad you want to have a personal chat with the doctor and you're not sure how to approach it with him. Tell him if the doctor thinks your condition is serious, you are happy to have the doctor discuss it with him afterwards, but you need to take this first step on your own.

You are asking him to have some faith and trust in you. I know that if my daughter asked me to, I would take her. I may be reluctant at first, particularly cause I don't know what is going on, I may feel left out, I may even be upset, but I would not deny her help the she is seeking.

Try something like, "Dad, this is really important to me. And I wouldn't be asking you, if I didn't think it was important to you as well. So please trust me. Take me to see the doctor."

[hugomax]

Well done for having the courage to write this post and for searching help to make things right. There will be plenty of help for you but you need to talk to someone with the right skills and training. Particularly as you are only 14 years old. I think you should call the Beyond Blue help line number on this website to start the ball rolling. These guys have all the information  you need and will know the best way to handle your situation.

Good luck on getting well again

[geoff]

dear Ofmiceandmen, I have to take my hat of to you for posting here on this site.

Firstly can I say that we have to be very careful on how we word our replies because of your age, but that's not to say that we can't help, because we want to do this for you, and I get very distressed myself when a young adolescent has become depressed.

From what you have said it's no doubt that you have depression, even without taking the test.

Please don't be scared here first of all, because there are multiple amount of people on this site who have been through what you are experiencing, so what we have to do is to build up your confidence in a way that will enable you to get professional assistance.

All of the above people have offered you some great advice, but if your relationship with either parent is not the best then maybe an auntie or someone who you do trust and is over 18 can book the appointment for you, however the web chat line you can contact yourself.

There are also other programs to contact: info@reach.org.au, or blackdog@blackdog.org.au, so if you email these places and find out which state you live in they will also help, but please don't go away and leave us here because we will be your back bone for support.

I also wonder how you are going at school and whether your friends know about your depression or whether you put a 'fake face' like the rest of have done with our own depression.

I really hope that do get back to us. Geoff.

[AGrace]

Hi ofmiceandmen,

Like the others have said, a very brave move for someone so young.

It sounds like you've been dealing with a lot of late, and it seems you don't really know who to share this information with. It can be tough deciding whether to tell our parents, or whether to see someone at school. It can be frightening not knowing what their responses might be.

I think an appointment with a GP would be a very wise choice. If you don't feel comfortable telling your parents then you don't have to. Plenty of Drs bulk bill so you won't need to pay, all you will need is access to your medicare card. If you're stuck to find a Dr take a look at the list available on Beyondblue's website.

What you might expect from the Dr? A GP will want to know how you're feeling? How long you have felt this way? Some information about your medical history. They may also ask if they can involve your parents. Having the chat with your parents might be easier in the presence of the GP. The GP will make some recommendations and then you can decide which of these feels right for you.

In the interim, try to distract by focusing on school work, get plenty of rest, spend time with friends, eat at regular intervals, and continue to post here.

Beyondblue would be more than happy to offer additional advice, if you don't feel comfortable ringing, then make use of webchat after 3pm.

Take it one step at a time, and remember that there is help for how you're feeling.

AGrace