i want to move out

[Guest_44016717]

I am a 17 year old girl, i haave a bf and a family ofc but i want to move out. my mum uses me as a baby sitter and i dont get money from it wich ik is expected but i watch and look after my sibling verys often which leads into me not being able to do anything.idk where to go or what to do because i am 17 and i have nothing prepaird but i really just want my own space. i want to be in control of myself again, and have my hard earned money to myself. on the daily my mum shames me over nothing and anything she can and sometimes its really hurtful with some of the things she says. my selfesteem lowered and my mental health is a lot  worse now and she just doesnt see it. i feel like my life is jyust what she tells me to do and when she demands. she has 5 kids including myself and even yet until my dad gets home from work i feel like i perent them. i clean, cook and give her money when she wants it for anythig. she ows me alot and just wont give it back and now i still buy things for my younger siblings when they need it becauxe shes always to broke to buy them anything. shes not physically violent often but she can say something and screams iver nothing all the time. my dads a really sweet guy andf has always supported my descision on moving out but ive really had enpugh of my mother. she only needs me when she wants something otherwise im just anothher person. i really need help because idk who to go to and where to look to move out, preferably soon aswell. if anyone has any suggestions or help i would love to here them

[Summer Rose]

Hello and welcome to the forum

It sounds as though you are having a tough time at home with your mum and feeling under appreciated and used. I’m really sorry that you find yourself in this situation. Hugs to you.

I can certainly understand you wanting to move out of home to have more space and time for yourself, but want to encourage you to ensure that you’ve thought it through.

Maybe start by asking yourself some important questions, such as:

• Am I capable of living independently and managing all the adult tasks that goes with it (eg paying bills, grocery shopping, budgeting, etc)?
• Can I afford to move out?
• Do I have enough savings and enough steady income to cover my moving and ongoing living expenses?
• Will I be able to finish schooling and/or training to help me prepare for a future career if I move out?
• Will moving out be good for my mental health?
• How will I feel about not seeing my siblings and father everyday?

If you are satisfied with the answers to these questions and truly believe moving out is in your best interests, I’m wondering if you can ask your father to help you? Perhaps your boyfriend?

I think some practical and emotional support whilst looking for a rental would really help. 

If you are not satisfied with your answers to these questions, perhaps you could try talking to your mum about how you feel and seeing if she might be able to help improve your situation (maybe dad could meditate the conversation?). For example, see if you can negotiate a schedule for babysitting that gives you a regular break.
If you haven’t already, I also suggest seeking professional help to support your mental health. Start by having a chat with your GP or school counsellor.

Happy to chat more. Please feel free to post anytime.

Kind thoughts to you