I used to laugh, now my personality has changed

[Chantelle_S]

Hi I'm Chantelle,
I'm writing this in hopes that I'll get an answer from somebody as I've been looking for help lately and have been wondering. I feel as though I have lost my personality and motivation for life and work. Back in 2017, when I was 13, I used to have an online group of friends who I used to play video games with. I used to be very talkative, bubbly and always laughed. However fast forward to now, (16 years old) my personality has completely changed. I find it extremely difficult to make conversations and open up with co workers at work. I feel as though people don't like talking to me and find me as a nuisance. I'm also very introverted so try my best to avoid conversations in the first place. In addition to this,I used to be excited for work, now I'm unhappy and dread walking through the doors. When I reunited with my friends online after two years of almost no contact they told me they miss hearing me laugh. I have also noticed that I have become way less talkative and my tone of voice is very monotone and low. I find it very difficult opening/talking to people of authority (people who are older than me). I have no idea why but I think its because of my past experiences with a paedophile which has resulted me in subconsciously becoming afraid of conversing with adults. I need help, I feel as though I'm lonely and I'm only 16. I value friendships very deeply and I envy those who can make friends easily.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Chantelle S, 
Welcome to the forums and thank you so much for sharing this with us. It sounds like it might have been difficult to do that but we're really glad you have. Our wonderful community is here to support you but we also want to let you know that there are other options too. 

If you ever want to talk with someone about how you are feeling and the changes you've noticed with how you interact with others, please know that you can contact our team of professional counsellors on 1300 22 4636 anytime. As well as this, our friends at headspace (1800 650 890) and kids helpline (1800 55 1800) are also available to support you. 

Keep connecting with us on the forum (if you feel comfortable doing so), we'd love to hear more from you when you are able. 

[geoff]

Hello Chantelle S, it does take a great deal of courage to open up a new thread by yourself to help with the support needed, so thank you.

Sophie_M has given you a couple of very helpful links, plus their phone numbers for you to contact and it's important to realise that with any mental illness there may not specifically be something that has caused the way you feel, emotionally detached or even dumb and can't seem to associate with your friends anymore is not your fault.

The past experience you have mentioned, it is OK to talk with those trained and who has experience in knowing how to address this situation with care to help you.

We hope to hear back from you and please if you can remember that each one of us has had to struggle with our own type of depression and want to help you.

Take care.

Geoff.