i thought it would be better

[idkrn]

I always thought if I got through highschool things would get better, but I feel worse than ever before. I'm so tired all the time. I'm trying so hard to stay positive for everyone else. Does it ever get better?

[geoff]

Hello idkrn, I'm sorry I can't tell you whether or not it will get better, but what I can say is that being at high school is a completely different environment than finishing it and then being at home.

Unlike at highschool where you are always under pressure, trying to memorise information that may come up on your exams, whereas now you wonder what you should be doing to entertain your day and your friends may have other commitments or be away so you tend to loss contact with them.

This does happen and the friends you promised to keep in contact with, doesn't seem to happen as they fade away, doing their own thing, but this is where you meet other friends, but this doesn't happen straight away, it only slowly occurs, different than being thrown into a class room full of people.

Just let you develop your own likes in life, as it does get better because you have more freedom, explore your talents and to even meet one person, your life will change.

Geoff.

Life Member.

[Doolhof]

Hi idkrn,

Welcome to the community here. Do you know why you are feeling tired? Is it a mental tiredness or do you have a physical ailment? Have you spoken to someone about how you are feeling? Do you feel a chat with Dr might be helpful to determine the cause of the tiredness?

One thing I am learning and reminding myself is that it is okay to not be okay all of the time. There are days when I too am really tired and don't want to do much.

I try to achieve something so I then feel better about myself. Even if it is something basic.

Do you feel a little directionless now high school is finished? Can you make a casual and flexible  schedule/plan for each day? Would something like that help you?

I may be way off track here and that is okay as well. Sharing how we are feeling can sometimes help us better understand what is going on.

Hope you find some answers and solutions, regards form Doolhof

[sbella02]

Idkrn,

Thank you for posting here, and welcome to the forums. I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling like this. I must admit, after the initial relief of finishing high school, I was much the same. My feelings were compounded by the stress of not knowing where I was headed in the future - fear of the unknown, as it's more commonly known. I knew I wanted to go to university, but I hadn't the faintest idea what I would be pursuing. 

You're in a transition phase of your life, and it's okay to feel tired, unsure, stressed, upset, nervous. If your thoughts are particularly distressing, it may also be useful to have a chat with a GP or psychologist about how you're feeling, as they can offer some professional advice and strategies for you.

What are some activities that you enjoy doing? Do you have a few hobbies that you love? Sometimes, if you encourage your mind to focus on something positive, this can do several great things for your wellbeing. Firstly, it can allow you to further explore and understand who you are and what excites you most in the world. It can also be an opportunity for you to consolidate some of the more difficult feelings, or express built-up emotion. Art can be great for this, as well as sporting and exercise.

I hope this is helpful for you, please continue chatting with us, we'd love to hear more from you.

Take care, SB

[tmas]

The idea of getting through school and just hoping it's better on the other end really resonates with me.

To be honest, the first year or so out of high school was pretty rough too. Feeling like an adult (or even just a person) takes time, and high school does not prepare us in any way for that kind of growth. 2020 was my first year out of HS (horrible timing given the state of the world, I know) and I started a uni degree convinced I would be given some sort of agency, but in truth it's just life continuing and symbolic changes of environment aren't enough to budge the root causes of whatever it is eating at us. 

I lost a host of friends, a partner too, in 2020, and big surprise had a horrible meltdown from the building pressure of mental issues, bad doctors, family issues, unstable relationships I had carried from HS, general malaise, and feeling like the new responsibilities I was expected to shoulder were being piled on top of a child (18 doesn't make you "adult", whatever that is, and I do think that intense stressors during the years you're meant to be developing can set you back, made me feel "young"). I got hooked onto a great therapist by a care team after this incident, and realised a lot of these things. 

I can proudly say I feel a lot better now, I'm even off my meds. I thought it would never get better, I was in and out of hospital, dissociated to high hell, highly medicated and generally struggling (which no-one believed, because I looked fine and positive most of the time). I started new relationships with my therapy-learnings and to be securely attached is incredibly healing. I moved out of home (only this year, I admit - I had to trust myself first). I'm not saying do these things, but I had to think of myself as a person with responsibilities and agency, letting go of hangups about myself, and generally "growing up". We aren't taught to be People in school; we're taught to get grades, struggle through social situations we don't REALLY understand and often aren't healthy, and told we're adults while being treated like children. Young peoples problems are minimised, and then suddenly you're in the adult world and the exact same issues now frighten people in different ways. All I can say is learn who you are - sincerity can be scary but is necessary for growth. Your responsibility to others stops at the point it is reciprocated (within reason). 

[jaz28]

Hi idkrn,

I am sorry you are going through this, it must be hard for you. I am here to tell you that it DOES get better, it might not seem like it now, but sometimes it can take some time for things to improve. It is a tough transition period to real life when you finish high school. Have you ever spoken to a doctor about these feelings? Sometimes you might need a little help for things to get better too.

Please hang in there,

Jaz xx