I need some direction

[Kel7788]

I'm in my early twenties and I haven't got any direction. I finished school a few years ago and just worked crappy construction jobs and a few other things since. I don't have any stable work and I've always been at home with my parents. I help around the house and get the chores done, but in the morning by the time 9 o'clock rolls around, I've got absolutely nothing to do. I just go back to bed and sleep the day away, or sit in my room and play computer games or watch documentaries on youtube. It's the worst feeling going to bed at 8 or 9 o'clock and waking up to 4:30 or 5 when the sun is going down, and I'm just starting my day when everyone is finishing theirs. That is a massive kick in the guts but I'm just so tired all of the time, sleeping gives my mind a rest and I've just fallen into that habit if i'm upset or something, I just hit the pillow and lie there.

Also, because I've worked a lot of hard labor rolls I've had a lot of problems with people that bully me in the workplace and these same people are usually drug users and drink quite a lot, which I am totally against. I just want to make my money and go home after a solid days work, but I've had arguments and even left one job site after work because I refused to be sworn at and degraded when I was working my guts out to get the job done. Now I don't have any work and have given up on construction and trades because of these exact people. I've also been ripped off for money, even by my own cousin. And when I talk to these guys they never tell me what I'm getting payed, they'll give me some fake excuse like ''I don't know what your wage is''. News flash buddy, if you don't want to part with the cash, don't expect people to give you a free donation. This has been very upsetting and I just don't trust employers anymore.

I want to go to university but they offer no courses in the areas that I am interested in. I wanted to study in areas like history, publication, cooking, but none of these are offered at my local uni and I can't travel for uni so, I have no idea what to do about work and study.

I also can't get any help from the government with job seeking, concessions or money because I live at home with my parents. They won't give me anything despite being a tax paying citizen, so I am always out of pocket with no help. I don't want to leech off the system, but I need help and they just won't give me any. I have savings but I should be able to get some help, as a citizen. 

Please talk to me?

[Zeal]

Hi Kel,

I just turned 22, and still live at home. I was overwhelmed after graduating from Year 12 in 2010. In 2011, I did 6 months of a uni degree, but avoided studying, as well as disliking lab work and chemistry. I failed subjects - this was unlike me. I then got a job in retail, at a health food shop. I left after two months, as I wasn't great with retail.

In 2012 I started a Bachelor of Arts degree, but had to pull out of my courses in both semesters due to mental illness. I had started to develop an eating disorder. I got better gradually (after being hospitalised), and started a Bachelor of Psychological Science in 2014. I did fairly well, as it's the right course for me. I'm starting my second year of this degree next month, and I really want to be a psychologist. This time two years ago I was unwell, unhappy, and lived a very menial existence. Now, I am actually happy and healthy. I've made new friends as well.

The point of this story is that you are not alone in struggling after high school. Our situations are different, but I can relate to the feeling of hopelessness and confusion. It's great that there are some areas you'd like to study. You sound principled, unlike some people you have worked with. I'm against drugs and alcohol too, and don't like foul language. This sounds like the wrong environment for you. You might suit an office job more- it would be less physically demanding.

Your sleeping patterns are problematic. I started getting insomnia several years ago, and occasionally still have poor sleep. If you sleep during the daylight hours, you'll miss out on sunshine. You may be Vitamin D deficient - I recommend talking to your doctor about this, and having a blood test. I am Vitamin D deficient, so I take a tasteless liquid solution once a month. Lacking Vitamin D often causes fatigue and tiredness, as well as increasing your susceptibility to depression. Try gradually shifting your sleeping hours. It will take time for your body to adjust. If you start working on this now, you will be rewarded when you get a day-job 🙂

I don't know much about government concessions. However, in SA, once you turn 22, you may be eligible for youth allowance. Living at home still allows you to receive the payment.

If you are studying something you love, university is great. You could try other options too, such as TAFE.

Good luck with everything, and feel free to reply 🙂

SM