I need a friend..

[BBUser88]

Hey, I go by the name of T and over the last 2 years I've been suffering with depression and anxiety. Lately I've felt like everyone in my life is too caught up in their own lives to realise how much Im struggling and I've realised I actually have no one I feel I can just talk to when I need a friend.. If anyone is in the same boat and up for a chat - about absolutely anything - give me a bell 🙂 

[Rachel_A]

Hello T, I have been diagnosed with depression and social anxiety recently. I get the way you feel. I have no friends, everyone says you have friends but I actually don't. I don't go out, and I keep to myself. I'm struggling a lot. I have breakdowns for reasons that are unexplainable. I want to know why I feel like this. Hope to hear from you, Im hear if you want to chat 🙂 

[Carl___just_Carl]

Difficult this one T. You feel like crap and you feel like you are driving people away. Are you having treatment for your depression and anxiety? Have you spoken to your GP about getting some help? I've been on the rollercoaster for 40+ years and l can tell you with absolute certainty assistance doesn't go door knocking, as bad as you feel you have to get yourself moving . The longer you wait, the deeper the hole gets and then it's a real battle to get up and out. Call one of the help lines even if you don't feel you are up to anything else, it will consume you if you don't fight back. I've said this elsewhere - the black dog is a bulying coward, show some fight and courage and it will back done. Do it everytime it returns, it's never easy, but being eaten by depression isn't either.

[Doolhof]

Hi T and Rachel,

Depression and social anxiety can make us feel like we need to stay shut away in our homes with no one to talk to and with a deep sense of loneliness and like no one cares.

That is what depression can do to us. Like Carl has mentioned, we need to be aware of how depression manifests itself within us.

We can all be stronger than we are. There is so much help available now for people with Mental Illnesses.

You have both made a start to a new beginning. You have reached out here to Beyond Blue and welcome to the community here by the way.

Use the phone lines that are available or the webchat to connect with people who can give you advice and help on how to manage and conquer your depression.

You mentioned you do have friends T, why not call one of them up and ask if they want to get together. Or tell one of them you are having a bit of a tough time and would appreciate catching up.

Rachel, are you studying or working? Try chatting with some of the people you encounter every day to build up your confidence in chatting to people. Look around in your area for a club or a group to join.

Sometimes if takes an effort to reach out to people, but the effort can be well worth it.

Cheers from Mrs. Dools

[Doolhof]

Hi again T, Rachel and Carl,

Okay, now for just a chat.

So have any of you seen any movies lately and if so what did you think of them?

Do you have any favourite foods and what is the weirdest or most interesting thing you have ever eaten?

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?

If you were to write a book what would it be about?

Just a few ideas off the top of my head to start up a conversation!

Cheers again, from Mrs. Dools

[Carl___just_Carl]

Dear Mrs. Dool,

Stupid I know, but I love animations - Big Hero 6 was very entertaining, watching it with my grand kids sort of helped it along too.

Weirdest thing I've eaten? The country and locale we ate it in don't consider it weird, in fact they think it's a delicacy. I won't name it as it could be upsetting to some people, let's just say in Aus we keep them as pets. At the time I didn't know what we were eating, our guide described as as 'just meat', it was actually very tasty.

Pompeii - Why. I don't really know. I've always been fascinated with it ever since I was a kid. I've been told by people that have visited there that the dogs that roam the streets there behave as if they know what you're thinking, almost as if they are the spirits of the people that died there. That I'd love to see. If I can ever sit in a plane seat again (need two new hips) that'll be the second place we'll head to. New Zealand will be the first. I've promised our neighbors we'd go back there with showed them around. We talked them into going to Hong Kong with us a few years back and they're keen to see more of the world,(if we hold their hands) they were farmers all of their working lives and are a little intimidated by the outside world.

If I can get my wife to take a breath and tell me her stories of working as a community care worker, (names changed to protect the innocent), I'd write a book about some of the eccentric, hilarious and tragic stories she comes home and tells me about her clients. Sometimes the stories are so funny I can barely breath for laughing, other stories are so sad she has to tell me in installments as they are to much to take in at one hit. I know she needs someone to talk to about her work, we all need to get the poison out. Don't we?

And T and Rachel, chat rooms on the internet can be a good way of communicating with others. My eldest son met his wife online and they've been together now for 15 years. Be careful though, the world is full of people that will take advantage of someone in distress, don't give out personal details like your address or phone number. I chatted with loads of friendly people over many years online, you develop a sixth sense about the suspect ones. An old TV announcer, Jack Little, used to say someting that I think applies to life in general  - " You gotta be in it to win ". 

Please excuse the spelling and punctuation - I have a condition that is suffered by most of humanity - I'm a lazy git.

[Doolhof]

Hi Carl,

I like animated movies as well. My husband and I were not able to have children, so we used to borrow other people's kids and take them to the movies. It was great sharing the movies with the children and seeing their reactions.

I missed out on a few movies though, as one of the little girls we took along was quite scared of some things so I was the one to take her out of the cinema. Now she watches stuff I would never want to watch!

Ha. Ha. I believe I know the animal you have mentioned, even before you said we have them as pets. While we were in Vietnam we ate fried water beetles. You had to take the back legs off first otherwise they tended to get stuck in your teeth so our guide said.

She was very disappointed there were no fried tarantulas available that day!

As a child I always wanted to go down the Amazon and Nile Rivers and do a safari in Africa. I'd still like to do those things and would also love to visit the Greek Islands and have a Shirley Valentine sort of experience! Ha. Ha.

After working in a home for the elderly, I can relate to the stories your wife must come home with, and wish I had written down the little incidents that had taken place.

Like the lady who used to lick her cutlery after a meal and put it back in the drawer. Or the ladies who decided to have a sleep over in the respite room and had us out on a search looking for them. Similar to the lady who tucked a man (a fellow resident) into her bed and told us she had not seen him!

Or the time I was told to take 6 residents with dementia to a flower show by myself soon after starting work at the home! I had the first lady out of the van and she had wandered off before I had managed to get the second lady out!

Inside the hall, the ladies went in every direction and there was only one of me! One lady started to gather the flowers up to make her own bouquet! I needed help from the general public to round them all and get them into the van again later on!

I never took those dear ladies on an outing by myself again if it meant getting out of the van!

Now I care for the elderly in their homes and take some of them shopping. I am teaching one lady not to squeeze the bread so hard and to put something she picks up off the shelf, back in the same place, and not on another shelf.

We are never too old to learn something new! Ha. Ha.

[nicegirl93]

Hey t I joined this forum for the same reason hope we can be friends and chat more I like music like anything catchy like hip hop dance and pop I like flowers I like clothes a lot I'm kind of a stylist so I'd love to style you some outfits and I really like cooking I cook alot