Feeling empty

[mza17699]

Currently, I am in america on a school trip that I and three others from my school were selected to attend as a delegation, and I am leaving tomorrow. Throughout the trip we were allocated into groups which we have spent almost all of our time with; as a result, we have all become extremely close, to the extent that I have come to love them more than I love my friends back in Australia. Four of the group of approximately 15 left to go back to their home country today. I was very fond of all of them, especially one girl. Almost everyone in the group cried as they left. Anyway, tonight we had a farewell dinner and they didn't attend as they had already left, and everyone was extremely sad, especially because it's unlikely that we'll see each other again any time soon. I go back to school as soon as I arrive back in Australia and have many assignments due after the first week back. Right now, I'm just feeling so empty because the friends that I made have left and I have to go back to a school with people I don't like anywhere near as much. My school is an all boys school, and the culture there is such that everyone tries to act tough and you're mocked for speaking what you feel if it doesn't comply with their version of what is acceptable. This last week was so amazing and I just can't picture anything as good happening anytime soon. I'm scared of having to go back to my school and leaving these people. They're talking of a reunion, but I doubt it'll happen. Further, I can't see anything as good as this week ever happening again. I hate having to graduate from school at 17 years old, I just want to enjoy my youth a bit more, because I can't imagine having fun and making friends like I did on this trip ever again. Everyone's going to be crying tomorrow as we leave. I'm feeling numb and hollow right now. I hope that was descriptive enough. Thanks in advance for advice 

[white knight]

Hi mza, welcome here.

I'm 59yo. During my life of depression mania and other things I've packed into it about 4 lifetimes. 90 cars, 6 motorcycles and about 80 jobs before I lost count. Some jobs included RAAF where my friends constantly came and went due to postings.

School friends? thankfully Facebook has arrived. You might not realise that before FB it wasnt so easy. And people you have a crush on you now can keep in contact with. There is an incredible book and movie called "The thorn birds" an aussie movie depicting international travel to middle of Australia for people through love. Love comes and goes to. If its real special it will survive against all odds but its rare.

So becoming disconnected is how life is. Instead of feeling this negativity you can overcome most of this with the positive force of appreciation for the gift of the friendships, the experience and the love.

As for returning to what you describe as a sombre place- school, its because of the immaturity level. That will change as time goes by. At uni it changes a lot according to my daughter now a teacher (26yo). There will still be elements of excessive noise on campus etc, but overall its better.

Use this experience to clarify your outlook on your future and goals. The clever guy is the one that uses each experience to advance his life rather than pull you back.

Tony WK

[nicegirl93]

Hey I hope you're okay think of the good like the friendships you made they'll last forever and you will see each other soon as for the school you go to I'd love to be your friend as I have none people are really mean to me because I'm nice and yeah some other stuff but I'm here to make friends and I've definitely felt empty before