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BeyondBlue New to this Forum? Please read this first!
  • replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with tho... View more

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

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Stacie Every I hate myself. I am never good enough
  • replies: 3

Hi, Every day I struggle with low self-esteem. I know I am not good enough, I am surrounded by facts that prove it. I have moved cities for a job and to be with my partner. But it's been 2 years and I have no friends and I am absolutely miserable. I ... View more

Hi, Every day I struggle with low self-esteem. I know I am not good enough, I am surrounded by facts that prove it. I have moved cities for a job and to be with my partner. But it's been 2 years and I have no friends and I am absolutely miserable. I have only put on a staggering amount of weight, gotten to the point that I thought I would never reach (obese now). Struggle to figure out what to say people, always self-conscious and awkward. I honestly don't know how to interact with people anymore. I don't feel good about myself. I look horrible in clothes. My mother lives far from me and every conversation I have is about my weight. I have tried diets and exercise, but the weight just bounces back so fast and seems impossible to lose. I feel so alone. Even my partner comments about my weight almost every day. He jokes about it and doesn't intend to be malicious, but we all know what he's doing. Even aside from the weight I am an introvert and struggle to make friends. But when I do I made a few close ones. But now the best friend I have left is interstate, we don't speak as much anymore because life just happens. Everyone around me is just better. They are better looking, smarter, they have lots of friends. People tell stories about their weekends of birthdays and movies and doing fun stuff. I have none of that. Part of my job is doing this other qualification that you have to sit a few exams for. People sometimes say I'm smart. But I have failed every exam for this qualification and have to keep sitting supplementaries. Thank God so far at least I have passed the supp. But even then people study less and do better. I am at a work environment where everyone performs better. Every day all I see are facts of my inadequacy. I have turned into a totally negative person. But these are the facts that I am handed with. How can I make myself feel good when all the clothes I wear look horrible or it's a huge struggle because I'm fat. I've been good at sports as a child. I have horrible coordination and already have bad self-consciousness... everything seems to spiral. I don't even like my job but another year I tell myself is what it takes for me to get my qualification, but even then I have junior staff who started later than me and have caught up. They are likely to pass the recent exam where I have failed. More embarrassment again.

bpeaa Im the black sheep in the family ...
  • replies: 1

... and my family hate me for it. Im 22 years old, and ive started 4 uni degrees since finishing school.. I've completed one. currently working on finishing my second.... its not going to well and I feel like that's for no other reason then the fact ... View more

... and my family hate me for it. Im 22 years old, and ive started 4 uni degrees since finishing school.. I've completed one. currently working on finishing my second.... its not going to well and I feel like that's for no other reason then the fact that im miserable at home my mum is a recovered alcoholic personal trainer who places a ridiculous amount of importance on the physical aspects of a person. And what she lacks in intelligence she makes up for in being judgmental. My father is an alcoholic but the hardest working man I've ever met. He's also horribly cold and only ever told me he loved me once. The other day he informed me the most annoying thing about me is that im alive - he was sober. My sister is the type of person who has to have everyone love and adore her. She has to be known as sweet and gentle. She just moved back in at home with her partner - she's 7 months pregnant and driving everyone insane. As for me .. I've always felt different. Ive always been naturally smarter then my brothers and sisters and done well at school and my academic ventures without much effort. This annoyed everyone. My parents would yell and question my dedication and id return to them after screaming matches with my well above average marks. They'd then yell at me for gloating. When I was a baby I started modeling. It carried on until I was about 16. My sister couldn't stand it and hated me for it. I was bullied in school all the way too high school. Mum would go on about how I was the most beautiful girl in the world and how everyone was just jealous, my sister included. This all changed when I was 17 My body went all weird .. I started eating badly. Quit all my sports. Hated myself. ive just put more and more weight on. All my friends say they can't see it and that I don't look different but my mother is disgusted by me. She constantly makes remarks on my weight and how beautiful I used to be or could be and how ive ruined myself. Then my dad will join in and bring up my failures. They bury me into the ground about every aspect of my character. As a result home is horrible not a day goes by where someone doesn't make a comment. If I cry I get called a drama queen and depressing.My mum will often make a remark as im leaving for the day. Eg you look wide in that. Uni seems impossible because its what my parents want not what I want. I just want to be a vet nurse but they say thats settling and that il never make enough money to be happy.

Purple16 Feeling alone and hopeless
  • replies: 2

Hello, I am struggling to understand my head. I get so overwhelmed with everything at once such as work and life. I have a very loving boyfriend that I don't like telling him how I feel or speaking to anyone for that matter because I feel like I will... View more

Hello, I am struggling to understand my head. I get so overwhelmed with everything at once such as work and life. I have a very loving boyfriend that I don't like telling him how I feel or speaking to anyone for that matter because I feel like I will bring them down. Also I think they don't care and I feel I should just harden up. Every night I have to distract myself from crying because I think that my job is stressful, I'm not going to be successful and I feel like I'm a not a good person to be around because I have about 4 people I actually call friends. Some days I feel ok but every day I overthink about everything and don't feel myself. I hate it. Do I need help or am I just over reacting (which is what I convince myself)

Adri I need help over coming panic attacks and anxiety.
  • replies: 3

I have been having panic attacks on and off for years. I didn't tell anyone for years and when I finally did my family thought I was looking for attention. My mum has always hated me and no matter what I do it's not good enough. My teachers have star... View more

I have been having panic attacks on and off for years. I didn't tell anyone for years and when I finally did my family thought I was looking for attention. My mum has always hated me and no matter what I do it's not good enough. My teachers have started noticing that I'm distracted and it's starting to affect my school work and social life. I just don't know what to do anymore.

Idontknow I don't know if I have depression or it's just life?!
  • replies: 4

I am currently in year 11 and am doing vce. My parents separated a couple of years ago and we only moved houses just last year, starting the whole shared custody thing (living at mums, staying at dads every second weekend and alternate Thursdays). Th... View more

I am currently in year 11 and am doing vce. My parents separated a couple of years ago and we only moved houses just last year, starting the whole shared custody thing (living at mums, staying at dads every second weekend and alternate Thursdays). They don't (won't) talk to each other at all. My coordinator talked to me about it and suggested I talk to someone from the welfare team at school. I agreed to only one session with the psychologist because I thought everything was great and nothing was wrong at all. After my session with the psychologist, she asked me if I wanted to continue seeing her and without much thought I said "no".Now I regret that. I don't know if I have depression or if these are normal thoughts and feelings to have. I'm usually a high achiever at school and really involved in sports. Lately I've been doing the worst I've ever done! I failed 3 out of 5 exams and stooped the level of my netball game. I've also realised since my parents split I've had a greater urge to eat food and I can't control myself anymore, making it a circle of feeling bad and eating more food. Which also connects to the way I always feel sad and angry and mad and having the urge to cry. But Recently talking with my friends about self harm, they got really worried because apparently these aren't normal thoughts. On top of that, I hate going to my dads house, packing all the time and practically living out of a bag but I feel like he will take it personally if I say anything. I don't know what is going on because I feel like I can't have depression because I am always laughing with my friends at school.Is this crazy?!beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

yesican128 Alone.
  • replies: 5

I'm 20 years old and currently studying at university. I'm not very good at expressing my feelings and I don't like talking about myself, and I think these are some of the reasons that I have been feeling anxious and depressed for a while now. I'm ex... View more

I'm 20 years old and currently studying at university. I'm not very good at expressing my feelings and I don't like talking about myself, and I think these are some of the reasons that I have been feeling anxious and depressed for a while now. I'm extremely lonely even though I have a good family and friendship group, and I'm scared that as they all begin to move on with their lives I will be left behind. I find it hard to escape from my thoughts, especially when I am alone. I'm not really looking for much from this post, I just wanted to share my thoughts.

sadgirl95 Help me help myself
  • replies: 2

Hello everybody. My name is Kelly and I'm turning 20 this year. Posting something this personal is quite a big step for me as I have been struggling with social anxiety as long as I can remember as well as manic depression and severe depressive state... View more

Hello everybody. My name is Kelly and I'm turning 20 this year. Posting something this personal is quite a big step for me as I have been struggling with social anxiety as long as I can remember as well as manic depression and severe depressive states. I don't often talk about these things as I find it difficult to trust people and I often find myself feeling very frustrated and confused towards myself in how I'm feeling and with my disorders.I have been feeling extremely suicidal as of lately and over the past 18 months, sitting here thinking about this now makes me wonder how I have managed to make it so far.I have tried several different medications and have seen several psychologists and nothing seems to help. I'm feeling very under pressure to live like everybody else, get a job, be happy, etc, but I can not do that right now and nobody can seem to understand that.It scares me to think that I could make a mistake at anytime and lose everything.My aim of posting here is to hopefully meet some people who are struggling in similar ways and share stories.I do not have many people that I can confide in and that leaves me feeling lost and alone all the time. I see myself as a lost, angry, sad individual and as well as a lot of you I would really like some people to confide in and share things with.Its difficult to find someone who really understands you sometimes and I am out of ideas so this is an attempt to reach out. I am really struggling with everything lately and I don't know how much time I have left. Thank you for reading, it is much appreciated xNow to hover over the "post this thread" button until I'm brave enough to hit post. beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

mza17699 Feeling empty
  • replies: 2

Currently, I am in america on a school trip that I and three others from my school were selected to attend as a delegation, and I am leaving tomorrow. Throughout the trip we were allocated into groups which we have spent almost all of our time with; ... View more

Currently, I am in america on a school trip that I and three others from my school were selected to attend as a delegation, and I am leaving tomorrow. Throughout the trip we were allocated into groups which we have spent almost all of our time with; as a result, we have all become extremely close, to the extent that I have come to love them more than I love my friends back in Australia. Four of the group of approximately 15 left to go back to their home country today. I was very fond of all of them, especially one girl. Almost everyone in the group cried as they left. Anyway, tonight we had a farewell dinner and they didn't attend as they had already left, and everyone was extremely sad, especially because it's unlikely that we'll see each other again any time soon. I go back to school as soon as I arrive back in Australia and have many assignments due after the first week back. Right now, I'm just feeling so empty because the friends that I made have left and I have to go back to a school with people I don't like anywhere near as much. My school is an all boys school, and the culture there is such that everyone tries to act tough and you're mocked for speaking what you feel if it doesn't comply with their version of what is acceptable. This last week was so amazing and I just can't picture anything as good happening anytime soon. I'm scared of having to go back to my school and leaving these people. They're talking of a reunion, but I doubt it'll happen. Further, I can't see anything as good as this week ever happening again. I hate having to graduate from school at 17 years old, I just want to enjoy my youth a bit more, because I can't imagine having fun and making friends like I did on this trip ever again. Everyone's going to be crying tomorrow as we leave. I'm feeling numb and hollow right now. I hope that was descriptive enough. Thanks in advance for advice

BBUser88 I need a friend..
  • replies: 7

Hey, I go by the name of T and over the last 2 years I've been suffering with depression and anxiety. Lately I've felt like everyone in my life is too caught up in their own lives to realise how much Im struggling and I've realised I actually have no... View more

Hey, I go by the name of T and over the last 2 years I've been suffering with depression and anxiety. Lately I've felt like everyone in my life is too caught up in their own lives to realise how much Im struggling and I've realised I actually have no one I feel I can just talk to when I need a friend.. If anyone is in the same boat and up for a chat - about absolutely anything - give me a bell

flower_girl1 Suddenly obsessed with a project then over it again
  • replies: 7

Hi sorry i know I started a lot of threads on here, I just have a lot of questions and it was easier this way. Does anyone else become so obsessed with a project that it like hijacks their whole brain for a while? I don't know if this is actually a t... View more

Hi sorry i know I started a lot of threads on here, I just have a lot of questions and it was easier this way. Does anyone else become so obsessed with a project that it like hijacks their whole brain for a while? I don't know if this is actually a thing or if I'm just odd (I mean special really). for example we have an aviary filled with budgies and sometime in spring I suddenly become obsessed with it. I buy all new breeding boxes, some new birds, clean it all out and then just sit there and watch and I am so impatient I swear I am mad at the birds for not breeding and having 20 chicks in a day. I really hate the impatience that conea with it I swear it's almost painful. I do this with all sorts of things like art projects or cooking or collection things. All of a sudden I will desperate to have the whole of a set of something. Right now it's my bookcase and I am fighting ridiculous urges to go and buy copies of boons just so I have the whole set of everything, even if I don't like the book. It's stupid, I hate it, it's uncomfortable and I can't stop. I waste money on stuff I don't need or want and I get over it in a week or less and hate myslelf for it. Do other ppl do this? Is it normal? Is it actually a thing? Can I stop doing it? again sorry for the fifty million threads flower_girl

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