Hi Lily,
Jacko has given some great advice, you should follow this and get some help with what you are going through. I do know what you are experiencing, having been there myself.
The "looking into the future" that you mention is quite interesting. Yes, projecting a negative image into the future, or looking at what you think is the future and dragging negative emotions back to the present is quite an uncomfortable feeling. What you need to KNOW, not think, but know, is that your projection and thoughts of the future have absolutely zero basis in reality. The future, of course, does not yet exist. Therefore, we can't see it. We can only create images in our mind, which create feelings in our body, and thus dictate our behaviours. If we think negative about the future, we will feel and act accordingly. If positive, the same. If we dont' think about the future at all (which makes the most sense, given our thoughts, again, have no basis in reality as to what the future may hold) then we will ultimately live in the present which is reality, which is a much simpler place, and an easier place to deal with.
EAch time this happens, just catch yourself and refocus on something in the present. I would suggest your breathing, or your navel, your heart, or your forehead. These are high energy areas on which we can hold our focus and actually "feel" them physically. In this state, we can't think about the future as we are focused on a present reality.
Try learning "mindfulness", just Google the term and see what comes up. Good luck to you, we are here for you anytime.
Steve
