I just want someone to talk to

[20oney]

I've been through a bit over the years. I've never had anyone to stand with me and talk, or just someone to be there.

I Donno All those years of thinking to myself that I don't need anyone or anything. I don't need to talk to people when I'm in a rough space, or when people are giving me a hard time.

I hit college, and it was like nobody cared. None of the teachers did anything when I went from a straight a student, to a failure. Next thing you know, I've dropped out. And I don't think anyone really noticed. I wish I had someone to talk to, through that school phase especially.

I just want someone to ask me, what is on my mind, and just keep asking until I finally give in to them and blurt it all out.

It will never happen.

I will forever hold everything in.

I can't talk about it here. It just feels, nothing

[20oney]

I can't open up to the people around me. Well I can, I know it is possible.

My biggest problem there, is I don't want to. They are the last people on earth that I want to talk to. I love Them all and everything. But I don't want to bother them. I don't want them to look at me different, treat me different, tell other people.. All of that stuff, you know..

 ive tried posting on some other posts, sometimes, I'm not sure I am of any help really.. What do I know? I couldn't even pass year 11..

 anyway. My last couple of weeks, have been all over the place. I've been so up and down, I'm struggling to figure out which way is up. 

Work is stressful, work is always stressful. It's looking up a little, but I know I need a change of shops. I also know I need to stay there a while longer.. Work is work I guess..

anyway. Yeah.. Thanks for replying last time.. 

[Doolhof]

Hi 20oney,

Thanks for getting back to me. Okay, I do understand that you don't want to burden the people around you with how you are feeling as you don't want them treating you differently. I get that.

It is wonderful then that you feel open and comfortable enough here to share part of your life. Hopefully that helps. We all need encouragement and to realise that people get how we are feeling.

Don't under estimate yourself, we all have something we can offer another person. Especially here on Beyond Blue. Even if you just post to a person that you understand how they are feeling, and that you recognise they are struggling, that will make a huge difference to someone.

It doesn't matter if we have been studying to be a rocket scientist or we are unemployed, we can still reach out and help each other.

How do you unwind after work? Maybe if you go for a walk, have a coffee somewhere or listen to your favourite music on the way home, it might help to defuse how you are feeling a little.

Have you ever used the phone help lines? They are really great when you are feeling a little stuck and overwhelmed. The people on the other end are very helpful.

Wishing you well this week, cheers for now from Mrs. Dools 

[20oney]

I understand that people will get whatever it is I need to open up about.. I totally get it. It just doesn't make me anymore at ease thinking about talking to someone face to face.. I'm sure one day, it will maybe happen..

 somedays after work, I come home and work at home.. Some days I turn music on and relax at home.. Most of the time I listen to music after work..

 i haven't used the phone hotline.. That's a little daunting at the moment.

thanks again

[Doolhof]

Hi 20oney,

Have you tried the webchat they have here at Beyond Blue? It is a bit like writing a text message. Someone is on the other side of the screen so to speak and they are able to give you advice and help. Give that a go.

What kind of music do you like to listen to? Do you dance along to it or just sit and relax in a chair? Sometimes I like to let my hair down and dance around the house when no one is home.

I joined a dance group once. It was hilarious. Everyone else was going left and I was trying to go right. They went forwards and I went backwards. In the end I just did my own thing mostly!

At the time I had Chronic Fatigue and no matter how many times I told myself I needed to go left, I still went right! Ha. Ha. Our instructor would bring in large ribbons and scarves for us to dance with. Sometimes we danced to tribal music with chanting and specific steps to follow...by the others but not me! Had too much trouble with the coordination.

I have never laughed so much in my laugh! It was great fun.

So try dancing around the house or in your room and let yourself go!

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools