I have no friends or social life at school

Dragonsblood26 · ‎01-03-2018

Hi my name's Bronson I am a 15 year old male who loves music who is turning 16 in a few weeks. I have shoulder length hair and a very friendly nature. However I am finding school very difficult as I cannot make friends. I always try to be kind to people but the kids at my school are very rude and are always causing trouble and they think they are cool gangsters as they listen to rap music about drugs and wear baggy clothes and caps back to front. They talk to other people like crap and use offensive language and topics like Gays, drugs and sex as daily conversations. I have had stuff said to my face almost weekely because people like to take advantage of my kind nature as a way to try and make me angry. Honestly since year 8 it's been a big downward spiral for me as I'm stuck at home with no soicial life. The kids are always wrestling in the corridors and grabbing hold of me as I walk past and the teachers have done nothing about it. One stage i got fed up of their crap at the end of year 8 and got into a fight. I was suspended for 5 days and they got no punishment. I'm in year 10 and i have learned to stay calm but at lunch breaks I go and isolate myself in the library studying corner as I feel when I go into the yard i'm treated as a target by the popular kids and i want to keep out of as much trouble as possible. All i want to do is to be a good true friend to people who will actually treat them fairly and take them out for lunch or buy a treat for but all i get is crap from popular kids who think they are the coolest gangsters in the hood. I just wish there were more friendy people around so i can have a peaceful happy life and enjoy company.

BballJ · ‎02-03-2018

Hi Dragonsblood26,

Firstly, welcome to the forums.

I know exactly how you are feeling as I was there in the exact same position when I was in high school. I always struggled to fit in and make friends and would get picked on a lot for being different. I never could work out why because I was always friendly and anyone who knew me who know they just got a good happy person as a friend. To be honest, I made most of my current friends once I left school and started working. I know you said you isolate yourself at lunch time to avoid any conflict, I used to do this too. My question to you is are there any people at your school you get a long with at all? Is there any groups of people with a common interest as you, something as simple as the same music as you? One thing I find to making friends is that finding a common ground with someone with similar interests as you is always a good key.

My best for you,

Jay

Dragonsblood26 · ‎11-03-2018

Thanks so much the advice, you're so kind. Anyways it's difficult at school to form friendships because at my school we have a large percentage of kids who play sport roughly 97 percent due to the gifted programs or we have kind girls are shy and don't like being around guys. Personally I hate sports so damn much and all the popular kids and frat boys bully me in pe because I'm not good at it. I hate sports because people are rough and the injuries are horrendously common. My school offers NO activity groups anymore because no one turned up expect me and the odd other because all the other kids played football out in the yard. I just don't have a place to fit as my school is so sports orientated and my mom says it's not worth changing schools as the kids are going to be the same due to silly age group at 14 and 15 especially and judging by the reviews of other schools close to me, they are full of drug addicts and thugs and my scholl had the highest rating of 4.3 out of 5 stars where as the other schools range from 2.7 to 3.3 stars. Other people mom knows had said there daughters have had severe trouble with other kids in different schools near me and have also said it's not worth changing schools. So I guess i'm just gonna have to pull through and get help when needed. Your advice is so helpful and Im glad to know theres someone like me out there. Xx

Summer Rose · ‎12-03-2018

Hi Dragonsblood

Your post brought back a lot of memories for me. I had absolutely no sporting ability at your age and didn't enjoy sports anyway. When teams were being selected I used to wish the earth would open up and swallow me whole, such was my embarrassment and shame. I knew that nobody wanted me on their team.

Like you, the place I used to go to get away from it all was the library. I didn't study for class, I read for pleasure. When you lose yourself in a great story, the stress slips away. There were other benefits as well, improved focus, vocabulary, writing skills and analytical skills. Reading is good for you.

On those occasions when I actually looked up from the pages, I noticed other kids doing exactly the same thing. I found a few friends in the library. Perhaps there are others you can connect with in your library. If not, try the art room or the computer lab. You are likely not the only person uncomfortable with your school culture.

I also found my life's passion in there. I left high school and went on to study journalism and law and never gave the jocks/bullies a second thought. In hindsight the bullies/jocks probably did me a favour but I remember all too well that it didn't feel like that at the time.

I really encourage you to discuss the bullying issues with your school counsellor or a teacher that you trust. You deserve more support and protection from your school. There are many resources on the bb website about bullying and maybe if you read through some of them you will have greater confidence to start the conversation and gain some ideas of the types of support that are possible from school. If you don't get a considered helpful response, maybe mum or dad can help you write a letter to the principal.

Sending kind thoughts for you

BballJ · ‎13-03-2018

Hi Dragonsblood26,

I am sorry to read that you do not feel there is anything you can do. I do hope the teachers are aware of this bullying and see it and can stop it. It just isn't on. I wish I had better advice to offer but if you need to talk, we are always here to chat.

My best,

Jay

Hello_i_am_Rose · ‎08-09-2020

Hello Bronson, my name is Rose and im 15 and in year 9. yes i know how you feel. i havent related to anything so RELATABLE. im that number 1 quite kid at my school, nobody else knows my real personality. im a really nice and kind person too, and that also gives a big invitation to kids at my school to walk all over me. i really do not like popularity at schools. i try my best to fly under the radar so i dont get noticed by anyone. i just cant wait to graduate, disappear, and start a new life. i also have a dream to become a famous actress, but it seems so unlikely. i have this confidence inside me trying to break free from its cage, but i cant find the key to open it. i have no friends at school, well i do but their just people that i hang around, here and there. nothing much. wow you posted this in 2018. its been 2 years. i hope your doing well. i guess you have your year 12 exams soon. good luck mate. i hope you do well. honestly im scared for mine. anyway i saw your post randomly, i hope you have friends now. you probs wont see this. but if you do, just know that there is someone out their thinking the best for you 🙂 yours sincerely, Rose Aydin.

RubyAmeliaaa · ‎12-10-2020

Wow, I read your response Rose and not gonna lie I was like is she describing me lol, I am in year 9 and I 100% agree with literally everything you said especially recently I feel hella lonely and I low key hate high school I want to be different I feel every "knows" everything about me when I literally don't talk to anyone it's like everyone has made their mind up about me. I wish I could have people to talk to and do fun things with I miss having good genuine friends. I also really want to work in the film industry when I'm older but my anxiety really said no lol, I want to do something big with my life you know I don't want to work 9-5 5 days a week doing a boring job staying in a boring house in a boring neighborhood. Anyway just thought I'd share I really hope you read this and I hope your doing well! -R

Guest_0784 · ‎16-10-2020

You know what, I'm in the exact same boat as you! I'm 14 now, and I have Autism, Anxiety, Depression, and PTSD. I like infrastructure, politics, animals, theme parks, and public transport. I've been in Special Needs School's until recently. And it was quite easy to have friends and help them out, expect for a few kids. And I was mostly happy until I got some bullies who went quite extreme. That's where I gotten my mental problems from. So I had to move out and move back in multiple times until I got into High School.

As everyone was interested into Fortnite at School, and not me. It was very hard to find friends at School. I was in a Special Needs Classroom in a High School. And there was a gang of boys who were very edgy, and would bully me about my voice and my mental heath problems. And would also try to hurt me. There was also a group of boys who I met by just sitting down at the area that they would sit. They would do graffiti and would make fun of the Christchurch Shooting. And with online bullying, my dad bullying me, and all of this. It caused me to have a severe mental episode in front of the whole school every 6 weeks that would cause me to leave School temporarily.

All that anybody got there was a minor talk with the teacher and after denying it they would get away and I would be the one who gets punished by being suspended. So I missed most of my school work for year 7 and 8. So I've fallen behind massively. And also after the outbursts. Even the nice people were afraid of me because of my mental problems. And others would give me stuff that I just couldn't do.

I'm now trying out Distance Education and it seems like it will be permeant. This is the problem with the Education system. And it needs to change! Talking to anybody at school is talking to a wall. And I don't know if I'll be getting any more friends at my age wherever I'm going at this rate. And I've always struggled with adolescent most of my life with few exceptions. I don't know what's going to happen next. And it's good to know I'm not the only one. Which I've never had in my life!