Young people

Pinned discussions

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

All discussions

Sorted by:

Start a discussion

Completely new life?

replies: 8

Hi all, so I have in the space of a couple days, submitted an application to transfer universities to ANU in Canberra from Macquarie University in Sydney. I’ve been advised that I am almost guaranteed an offer with my grades and GPA so I’m now thinking about logistics and the reality of moving away within the next few weeks... how do you deal with such significant change? I have my whole family here, all my friends and my boyfriend. None of whom (except my family) know that I’m moving. I’m waiting until I actually receive and accept the offer to tell anyone. I keep thinking about what it’ll be like not coming home and dancing around with my sisters or watching the footy with my brothers. Not having my friends a 10 minute drive away or seeing the same people I do every day. Not being able to turn around and steal kisses from my boyfriend who is such a significant part of my life. I couldn’t do long distance I don’t think - I’d try, definitely, but I’m a very physically affectionate person. I like cuddling with him and kissing him and just being together. Talking on the phone just isn’t the same... theres just so much that would change if I moved. It would be a great move! This is an incredible opportunity I don’t want to turn down and I know i will have an amazing experience living in Canberra and studying at ANU but it’s just all happened really fast and is a lot to take in. I don’t know...any advice for when you lose everything you know like that? I know I won’t lose it all - they’re only a few hours away on the train but it’s going to be so different. Thanks as always, A

Your Never Alone

replies: 8

Hi I am making this post to tell people, your not alone. It is absolutely okay not to be okay. I am to am struggling, recently I lost my friend, my supporter, my guider, my protector. I lost my dad to mental health. My dad lost took his own life this year on Fathers Day. I will always be his daddy little girl I wished my dad spoke and understood that is okay to not be okay. I have a promise, I made him. i will promise to help break the stigma of mental health. I sit here today, I had to post this to allow myself and remind myself it is okay not to be okay. Lets all break down the stigma of mental health. We all have a roll to play to make that happen.

My girlfriend doesn’t accept responsibility for her actions

replies: 1

Hi guys, I’ve lived with my partner for a year and a half now. She suffers from mental health issues which regularly requires me to take time off work to act as her carer. I’ve done all that I could reasonably do to assist her and support her over the last year and a half. I love her dearly and have done whatever needed to support her. But, I’m experiencing challenges and I’m needing advice. I have a good grip on my own mental health after a turbulent history, but I find that now I’m struggling to deal with my girlfriends lack of ability to accept responsibility for her actions or often, in-action. In her mind, nothing is her fault and she constantly blames others or myself for her misfortunes or mental health issues. I find dealing with her lack of accountability extremely taxing and often, I find myself incredibly exhausted from it. Why does her lack of accountability challenge me more than any other aspect of the relationship or her mental health issues, generally? What can I do to support her re this lack of accountability? How can I learn to better manage that myself? Thanks muchly, S.

Feeling worthless and jealous of other's achievements

replies: 4

Hi All, Hope you are doing well in this difficult time! I wanted to bring up a problem I've been having for the past few months, which has been with me throughout much of the latter part of my life - I am hyper critical of my own achievements, and have never been able to see my own self worth in the way that I see others. For context, I am a visual arts student and many of my friends are also studying arts/have creative hobbies. In the past few months I've become more depressed and my art making has slowly trailed off. I still draw semi regularly, and can doodle without much thought, but art has become less of a joy and more of a burdensome task. Often I see my friends posting pictures of their creations on social media and think - why aren't I more like them? I often feel insecure, weak, untalented, and flawed in comparison to my other artist friends. I know I have issues with self worth - and this often exacerbates my anxiety in regards to the quality of my own work. For as long as I remember I've found it hard to be satisfied with my own achievements. Even when receiving compliments from others it's difficult to internalize them rather than having them go in one ear and out the other! I think a lot of this stems from my perfectionism - I find myself a bad judge of my own work as one mistake could ruin my perception of the entire piece. I think I have placed high expectations on my own art making, and this has paralysed me. In addition, I've been feeling more melancholic lately and dealing with feelings of worthlessness has made me even less motivated to keep going (a self reinforcing cycle!). Does anyone else get this problem? How do you deal with your own insecurities when it comes to creative pursuits? Thanks for reading, I really appreciate it Eggsy

Afraid to face consequences, making big decisions and do I really have control my life?

replies: 1

I'm currently unsure of the decisions I've made. I recently broke an agreement that costs me my entire savings. It took a lot out of me to break that agreement, because I thought it was the right decision for me in the long run. Yet now I find myself digging a deeper hole than ever and it made me rethink whether I made the right decision or not. I don't think I predicted the consequences would be this difficult and now I'm living through it. I'm too afraid to ask for help out of fear of others would judge me for my decisions. Some people have judged, with good intentions because I know what they were saying is true. However, a part of me just refuse to acknowledge it and feel hurt by it. I would just proceed to shield myself from doing the things they told me to do. Some people told me things on what to do and I let them. I hate that I let them. When I show some sign that I don't want to do it, they would tell me that I'm indecisive and that it's immature for me to do so. I overthink about it. Maybe I am immature. Maybe I should just follow through one decision, no matter how much I feel like I change my mind. They say it's for the best for me. I doubt it, but I never say anything. So I kept swallowing everything and kept things to myself. I wonder if anyone have ever felt this way? I'm only turning 21 this year and I still don't understand how adult-ing works. I feel like some people makes me feel like I'm not doing enough or just too immature with my decisions. I don't know how to break the chains from them and take over control.

If I Don't Succeed By 18 I Don't Know What I Will Do...I Want To Be A Successful Artist, I Fear Being Old, And School Is Bringing Me Down,

replies: 1

Hello everyone, I'm currently a student at a school for performing arts at the moment and I'm currently COMPLETELY behind in my school work because a SAC threw me off and now I'm behind in absolutely everything (with this online teaching style, whatever lack of focus and motivation I had, is COMPLETELY gone out the window now. I'm doing both regular VCE Academic, plus intensive art at the same time in school (very long school days). I'm passionate about the art part and do that, but academically I am completely burnt out. With this whole system, it isn't working for me and I feel like I can't focus. More and more work keeps piling in. I CANNOT. I used to be a high achieving academic student, but once I realised that performing arts and film is ultimately my passion, I stopped prioritising/striving for education as much as I used to, and do not intend to university. My parent is very against that despite supporting me in everything I do. "You'll never amount to anything without education, you'll work at maccas/as a cleaner then..", but if I KNOW what my passion is, and that I plan to train and learn extensively for my talent, I don't consider that unsuccessful! I've talked to the school counsellor, but I feel like encouraging me to do it isn't helping me. I want to talk to a career counsellor, but from what I've briefly talked about they say "you might want to later on", but I DON'T! As an aspiring artist, it hurts when you're told there's the 1% of artists, and then the rest 99%. I don't want to mediocre, or have a plan B. As corny as it sounds, I want to be great! Why can't I be the 1%? I don't want to do this style of education where a grade or number determines your worth, or a degree determines your status. It isn't the same for art, its not like medicine where you NEED it in order to properly function. I feel like going to university is the "SAFE OPTION", but I don't want to waste away my young years 18-22... I already feel old (I'm 17), if I go to university and don't start my career, then I'll REALLY be old! Since I have to finish school, I feel like I won't be able achieve success because I'm stuck and immensely unfulfilled. Does anyone else feel this way? What can I do, who can I talk to? I know what I want to do with my future, but the academic system is not for my pathway and it's destroying my sense of purpose/belief in myself and my future. I have this thought that if I don't succeed by 18, I won't know what to do with myself anymore.

Feeling Overwhelmed with School :/

replies: 2

So it’s a long story but due to my ocd, anxiety and past hallucinations I missed an entire year of school and now I’m back and the first term went fine I was getting straight A’s but since this term I’ve been doing horribly and I keep overthinking and thinking that I’m a failure and that I’ll never get into a good college and I’m so so so anxious about the future and I feel so stupid and everyone at my school is super smart and rich (I go to a prestigious private school) and I keep hearing about everyone accomplishments and how well they’re doing while I’m basically failing and I don’t want to disappoint my family because I feel like they expect so much from me

I had a big blowup with my partner for no reason

replies: 3

My partner and I have spent every second in isolation together and have had barely any arguments. Tonight we had a very huge fight over nothing at all and I yelled at him like I never have before and said some things that were very wrong and that I didn’t even mean. It was a lot bigger then a normal argument and he said he doesn’t want to be around me at all and it’s best we end things. (We are both very hot headed people) Lately I’ve been feeling pretty lonely as my partner and I moved down to my family holiday home, so I’m feeling very distant and far away from my usual life. I have quit a large group of friends but feel like no one actually cares about me. I have always been someone to never really show or tell my friends how I’m actually feeling and just put on a fake smile.

What is even happening.

replies: 18

Hi, Im 18 and I have struggled for a long time with something i never know how to talk about or explain. If this is confusing im sorry im not great with words. The issue with explaining it is its constantly evolving and changing; from one moment to the next my explanation whether written or spoken becomes alien to me, and i cannot empathise with myself through it at all. Its as if my past self is not me at all - and not simply in the natural sense but in a far more heightened sense. To give examples- out of the five people I have attempted to explain it to one was my old therapist. I had a few sessions with him and while I clearly remember what I said, its seems so foreign to me. In fact through my 10 or so years of struggling with this thing the only constant has been the knowledge that it will become foreign to me within seconds. The issue is I feel that I cant trust my knowledge about myself- i cannot say Im feeling a certain way because Im not sure if I am or if Im just making it up. Im a fairly imaginative person, I can create emotion and reactions in myself in fake scenarios I devise (for writing) so how can I trust the emotions and reactions in me enough to describe them to someone else. I also struggle with remembering anything after its done, my memories of myself are all but dissapeared. The worst part of this is I can go months without experiencing anything and then all of a sudden this thing is just there and i cant seem to even understand what it is. And a quick clarification- I cannot even begin to comprehend it, ive tried. During these months its easy to convince myself that Im making it up, maybe for attention - but again that doesnt make sense as I dont tell people. I am mostly a very stable person with a very stable background, other than this thing (that Im not even sure exists) Im pretty much one of the most grounded people I know in the most humble way possible. I dont have issues with stress or anger - even the opposite, I quite literally have never felt actual anger at anyone before. In normal life I am the last person to have anything like this. And yet I have memories of self-harm. I have memories of sobbing for hours, of gasping and heaving and aching with this pressure bursting from me. This absolute fear of smth inside me. And yet it still means nothing to me. Im sorry cuse this is way too long. And a bit stupid. Im completely fine rn, but maybe im not idk.

Is it only me with this kind of OCD????

replies: 2

So i was diagnosed with OCD when i was in year 12 but i think i've had it since i was in year 4. It makes me feel disgusting and I hate living with it. During my lowest point, there was even an instance where i had to be admitted to a mental health facility because of my OCD along with my depression and anxiety. I just want to know if anyone else feels the same as me? My OCD prevents me from wearing tight clothes like jeans because i hate the way it feels on my skin. It just feels cold and tight and when i get changed, i have to make sure theres no hair on my clothes or my body and i have to tie my hair up into a bun or something to prevent hair from falling out. I don't like the thought of their being hair in my clothes. Another thing is that I get really conscious about books (like textbooks, etc) because i feel like there is dust or hair in between the pages. Even putting a book on the shelf makes me clench my toes and fists because i feel like dust on the shelf is getting pushed into the books. My obsessive routine would be flipping through the pages and fanning through the pages upside down (if that makes any sense) to let the dust fall out. i need help please. i cant find anything to help. Im a student and its winter so both these forms of my OCD is torturous

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

Completely new life? replies: 8

Your Never Alone replies: 8

My girlfriend doesn’t accept responsibility for her actions replies: 1

Feeling worthless and jealous of other's achievements replies: 4

Afraid to face consequences, making big decisions and do I really have control my life? replies: 1

If I Don't Succeed By 18 I Don't Know What I Will Do...I Want To Be A Successful Artist, I Fear Being Old, And School Is Bringing Me Down, replies: 1

Feeling Overwhelmed with School :/ replies: 2

I had a big blowup with my partner for no reason replies: 3

What is even happening. replies: 18

Is it only me with this kind of OCD???? replies: 2