I have lost 5 Job and my anxiety is coming back.

[GlamMettal80]

Nobody seems to want to employ me for more than a week. I finally got a diploma in music so I could move away from hospitality. Music is my passion and my family were so proud of me when I was offered a job as a piano teacher. I lasted for a month, until one of the parents complained to my boss that I was a terrible teacher and her kids weren't learning. Her kids told me they never practise. I go out of my way to print out notes and prepare them for each lesson. I had so much confidence until my boss fired me from this mother's complaint. He said i'm a good teacher but he has to appeal to the parents. I got another job at another school shortly after, and the same parent had come in and told the boss there. Since then, I have not received a phone call to come into work.I am so afraid of my future.

i am now 21 and have never lasted in a job long enough to earn a living. I may not be the most bubbly outgoing person, look like a neive young girl, but I am a good worker and smarter than I look. People do not seem to like me. I was bullied by co workers and the manager there laughed at me, on purposly gave me shifts when I went on a holiday and never gave me any when I was free. She fired me. I have suffered from bullying and discrimination throughout school, I didn't have any real friends. The only thing good that's happened since is that I joined my first rock band, made a few real friends and lots of guys think i'm hot. My friends are mainly 30-40 year old musicians. I never had much in common with people in my age group, in fact if I'm in a situation where i have to talk to another girl my age I get really anxious and afraid of being judged.

I want to try study for my bachelor's degree in music next year, but I fear that I still won't get a job because people just don't want to hire a shy person. Sometimes when I'm around people I feel like running away and crying. Mostly when I'm with my friends I'm drinking and smoking. Somehow when I do this I feel more talkative and confident around people. Some days when I choose not to drink, people accuse me of being too quiet.

Sorry if all my sentences are in a muddle. I should be greatful for the other things I've achieved, but I am very nervous about my future and feel even more inconfident that I am not independent. Centrelink won't give me money until I'm 22, but I don't want to be on the dole I want to make my own money. I'd appreciate some advice. Thanks for reading this.

[Zeal]

Hi,

Welcome to the forum!

Until my 20’s, I was awkwardly shy. In my teens I often mumbled and spoke too fast due to nerves, so I found it hard socially. I’m now 22 and just starting my second year of a psychology degree, as I had a period after high school when I was unable to study due to mental illness. Anyway, back to you! Being fired wasn’t your fault- you cared about your job and did your best. The kids have to work with you too. I think some parents find it “easier” to blame a teacher, rather than recognize that their child needs to engage more or change their behaviour.

Having a diploma of music is awesome, and it’s great that you’re actively trying to improve your job prospects. I have never worked in hospitality, and I had my first (and last) retail job in 2011. I did my best, but I knew I wasn’t great at my job. I worked two days a week for less than two months, before I was laid off over the phone by my boss. She was really nice about it. She said I wasn’t assertive enough, and that she thought I’d work better in an office! I took a while to get over this rejection.

I’ve been babysitting since I was 18, and I’m good at this. I started volunteering in April last year, which has been a great experience. On some Saturdays I accompany a paid staff member on outings with 6-8 kids and/or teens. These kids have some form of intellectual or physical disability. If you have the time, I recommend volunteering. Your manager had no right to bully you. When you are having job interviews in the future, try to pay close attention to who you’re working for, and the workplace practices. Being mistreated will prevent you from having a decent experience at work.

Being in a rock band sounds great. Hanging out with older people is completely fine. However, try to meet like-minded people your age. Even if you are more confident when you’re drinking, this is a dangerous long-term strategy. Seeing a psychologist about your shyness and anxiety is a good idea. You could try just a few sessions, and see how it goes.

You seem mature and driven. Not wanting to rely on Centrelink is great, though this could be an added bonus once you turn 22. However, you need to check the eligibility criteria.

I’d recommend getting your Bachelor’s degree in music. This will give you more job options.

Good luck for the future,

SM