i hate my birthday

[justwanttobehappy123]

it’s my 18th birthday tomorrow and i feel like shit. i hate my birthday. yes i get a present from my parents and i’m sure my friends and boyfriend will get me something but my mum is sort of really encouraging (sort of forcing) me to have a birthday dinner with my ‘close friends’ and it’s totallg stressing me out. everyone is coming but i haven’t hung out with my bestfriend from high school not at a party for a few months now, and my bestfriend is her bestfriend and they have totally stayed completely in touch and hang out all the time. my anxiety makes me feel like my friends don’t like me and i hate it. does anyone know how to overcome this? anyway back to the point, i’m totally stressing about my birthday and this dinner because i feel like everything just has to be good but at events like these i always feel insecure and get sad. but this time all the attention will be on me so i can’t be sad and i’m really stressing out because i don’t have anything to wear and i know i will feel insecure and i don’t want to freak out before or at my party. i don’t really know what i’m asking, i guess just for someone to talk to about this even though there’s not much more to say 🤷🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

[quirkywords]

Hi justwanttobehappy,

Welcome to the forum and Happy birthday .

I have a birthday in January and I have had quite a few more birthdays than you have had and I still find birthdays sad and stressful and I find the attention sometimes too much.

A birthday dinner sounds nice. Is there something about the dinner you like, maybe the food, having your boyfriend there and your parents.

I think you may have something you can wear,

Did it help writing down how you feel?

Quirky

[MsPurple]

Hi and welcome to the forums

I get exactly what you mean. For my my GAD can make me think my friends don't like or or think I am not good enough. It can make me planning things to do stressful. I have told one of my friends this because with her (my bestie) I don't seem to make solid plans, we just kinda go with the flow. I said that I worry that if I make a plan and we don't have an amazing time, I will feel more guilty and useless than if we just go with the flow and it is average. May sound silly to some but that is how I felt. Since then I have had a think to myself and I don't want to do this anymore. I want to hang out with my friends and not worry about how good it will be and if they'll like it. At the end of the day your friends should just enjoy your company. And if the event is a shocker you'll have a laugh about it down the road (I took a friend to see a horrible movie thinking it was a comedy, it was a musical!). I don't want to avoid planning things (now I usually like to be organized), and avoid seeing people cause I am worried it will not go perfectly. Sometimes imperfect is perfect (I can't say how many funny stories we talk about at high school about disasters at school ha).

SO it is something we can work on together. Now I am not sure if this gave you some things to think about or if it is helpful, but at least you know that others feel the same way

Also happy birthday for tomorrow 🙂

[justwanttobehappy123]

Hi Quirky,

thanks for your reply. yes i like everything about this dinner and i should be very excited but instead i find myself stressing about nothing but about it if you can understand that.

i do have things to wear but every time i dress for fancy events like this i feel very insecure because of a different story which long story short is that i wear t shirts shorts and converse to everywhere including parties and my best friends all wear dresses and heels to everything and i always feel insecure no matter if i wear converse and a tee or heels and a dress.

i will find something today and i will try not to let my own mind ruin it.

yeah writing it down did help a bit. thanks for replying 🙂

[justwanttobehappy123]

Hi MsPurple

thank you for your reply. i know exactly what you mean although my anxieties about hanging out don’t go as far as yours. but instead i find that if i don’t see my friend in a week and i ask to hang out and they can’t i will comvince myself that they hate me.

then i won’t ever try to make plans with them because i think they hate me.

thankyou!! 😊😊

[Birdy77]

Happy Birthday justwanttobehappy! 🎂

Guess what ... it's your birthday and you can wear whatever you like! You're the birthday girl so Converse or heels, it's totally your choice. Try to relax into that 😊.

I totally understand your anxious feelings, but hopefully tonight will be fun and you can reconnect with your friends that you haven't been hanging out with since school finished and maybe you will not feel on the outside after tonight.

I hope you can relax a bit and have fun.

You can come back and talk about your feelings any time.

🌻birdy

[justwanttobehappy123]

hi birdy,

thanks!!

thank you for your message it really helped. i think i am going to wear heels tonight as my friends asked if we could and i said okay because sometimes i do like wearing heels.

hopefully you’re right. but thanks for saying that because now i’m more excited about the dinner and how i might be able to become closer to my bestfriend from high school again.

thanks again 🙂

[Doolhof]

Happy 18th Birthday Justwanttobehappy,

Wishing you all the very best for your Birthday! Sometimes I find that the time leading up to an event is actually worse than the event itself! Our minds are very good at telling us "stories" and not all of those stories are true!

You may think your friends don't want to be with you when you ask them, they may just be busy that particular day. It doesn't mean they don't like you. That is just a negative thought that has entered your mind.

If you start having negative thoughts during this day leading up to your party, tell yourself they are just thoughts. You can change them!

My brain tells me "You don't want to go out tonight, it will be a disaster". How will it be a disaster? In reality what proof do I have? Will my thoughts actually happen? If I keep thinking negatively then yes, I may have a terrible evening! We can stop our thoughts.

Wishing you a wonderful Birthday. Healthy nerves are more than expected, hope you have fun and enjoy yourself!

Cheers fro now from Dools

[MsPurple]

Hope you had a lovely birthday 🙂

how did it all go

[justwanttobehappy123]

hi thankyou for asking,

it was a disaster hahaha

i was crying until the moment i had to pick up my friend, i got a blister, a boil and a uti so i was uncomfortable the whole night, i barely talked to my bestfriend from high school and even my mum says maybe i should just let the friendship go she doesn’t seem to care.

its okay now though it’s kind of funny but i am really sad about it all. life sucks sometimes i guess

thanks for replying