I hate my best friend and my only friend at university

[Lascrea]

Hi everyone, I'll try to make this short

I don't know if it's that the stress of university has made me more irritable or if my best friend has become a rude and selfish hypocrite. We can't have a conversations because by the fifth reply she'd have found a way to offend me somehow. I said I can't go out because I need to take care of my dogs and my parents won't because it's my responsibility, and she said 'this is why I don't like your family' which is uncalled for and disrespectful (she's white and I'm Asian). She's failing y12 and out of concern, I told her to stop going out so often. She got defensive, telling me that not everyone is like me (I had a 99.95 ATAR) and that she 'earned her free time', which is questionable considering she hasn't studied or worked on any of her assignments for days. We're both sarcastic and used to jokingly make fun of people, but now whenever I make fun of a slow learner driver for example, she'd say 'don't be so judgmental', even though she mocked me when I first started driving. She also calls 'fat' people lazy and disgusting even though she's severely overweight. I'm starting to hate her but she's the first best friend I've ever had.

I have social anxiety and making friends has never been easy for me so when I made one close uni friend I told myself I would keep her. But I don't want anything to do with her. I work with her and her boyfriend for a group project And when we have group meetings, she doesn't focus on the work at all and keeps whining to her bf. There's so much to say about this girl that I can't finish in the character limit. We did an experiment that required sterilising equipment and She picked up tweezers dipped in ethanol and held it in the flame, then swung it at her boyfriend, dropping hot ethanol on him. She always does things like this and it makes me uncomfortable. She stuffed up our entire experiment because she didn't know how to use the equipment even though I asked her. She's always late to everything and yesterday, she and her bf were 40 minutes late to our experiment and the labs were about to close but I expected it so I just did everything myself. She's so childish even though she's two years older than me and it's to the point where I'm questioning if she's mentally ok or if she's just attention seeking. She's also racist.

I don't know if I'm overreacting because of my stress or if these situations are enough to say I should end my friendships even if it means becoming friendless.

[Hope_for_the_best]

Doing medicine is very stressful. I can totally understand you. I did Biomedical Science for undergrad, and I was pretty much studying the stuff in the first three years of medicine. There are a lot to study and I was under a lot of stress. But from what you described so far, you seem to be going well with your studies. Are you in first year of uni? Well, what you want to do may change a few years later. Take me as an example. I always wanted to do medicine very badly, but I changed my mind when I graduated. I am not saying that you should give up medicine/defence force, but keep your options open. You don't always end up in what you have exactly planned, but the outcome is not necessarily bad. In my opinion, it would be a shame to give up counselling for your social anxiety, as it is entirely treatable. Regardless of what you end up doing, you need to interact with a lot of people. Good social skills are needed to secure a stable job. If I were you, I would focus on addressing the social anxiety rather than stressing about the job prospect for medicine or the defence force.

You don't have to publicly announce that you see a psychologist. Just keep it as a secret, and as HamSolo01 says, not all jobs require you to disclose your medical history.

[HamSolo01]

I am on the cusp of graduation Lascrea and one thing i have learned is that "job security" is such an arbitrarily defined concept.

We now live in a highly globalised society so the notion of one job for life is somewhat dated.

That said, i know the desire for the security of an income and the sense of independence and possibly respect from peers is something i have too.

What is your degree? and what have you learned? the reason i ask is because this is what i have done lately and it really helps broaden my horizons. I do an arts degree and i major in government and international relations. Its a very broad area which means i need to think about what i can do WITH my degree. Not so much WHAT it gives me.

I think this is a key point to keep in mind with any degree. I have found that anyone who makes sweeping generalisations about the "right" degree or a degree that "guarantees" you a job is wrong. Most things are being replaced by robots, in fact even professions you wouldn't think of.