I feel like I'm going crazy!

[hateyourparty]

My partner and I have been together on and off since high school, we are now 25 yo and married. I've always been an over thinking and hard to be with due to depression and anxiety, and my partner has always done his best to get through it in one piece, which still maintaining the person he is. You know how sometimes it's like you're anxiety expects the other person to change for you so you can just be at ease with every action they make? Well of course, in reality, we can't actually have that. Anyway, I find since moving to the city a few months ago my struggles are getting worse. I'm constantly freaking out about what he is doing, where he is doing, always comparing myself to the incredible girls that live here and feeling like he may want to leave me. Its getting to a point I'm finding myself breaking down over stupid things. For example, his brother bought us all tickets to a comedy act, and I got angry and cried about it, because my thought is instantly, great, his going to get drunk, be out all night, run a muck... But i was invited too... I'm going to be there... Shouldn't I be happy and excited? Or little things, like his friend is coming around this weekend for a visit, and I instantly have bad thoughts of what they're going to do, spend all night out the back getting wasted, while I sit in bed alone waiting for him to come to bed... I'm sure you've got the idea by now he is a drinker, and I have a problem with that, but I'm constantly being told I need to let him be who he wants. I feel like I'm becoming over baring and I know half of what I'm saying right now sounds completely metal. I literally feel like I'm losing it. I feel like I'm losing myself, and like all my trust and faith and everything good within myself is just getting sucked out of me. I feel so unstable and sometimes I feel like I may be better off alone just so I have 1000% control of what's happening around me and what's going on, and so I never have to worry about anyone else and those sort of conserns... I have the opposite reaction to anything that's supposed to be a happy time and instantly feel rage and sadness... Has anyone else ever felt anything like this before?

[Pysis]

Hi hate your party

I know exactly how you feel I over think everything as well and I am always worring about things that I know won't actually happen. I worry mainly about my friend since she has started her new job she isn't around much anymore and I'm constantly feeling like she's just going to forget me or just not any to have anything to do with me. I also feel like she hates me becuase she can't be there for me and I feel like I'm not good enough for her. I know exactly how you feel about suposed to be feeling happy about things but I just can't at the moment either. In reality I know that my freind won't forget and dosent hate me she's just to busy for me at the moment and I'm sure that your husband loves you very much and he sounds like a good person but if his drinking is really worring you maybe you should talk to him about it. You also probably should go see your go and get medication if your not already on it and talk about seeing a proffesonal if you are one the city you should have acess to them. It's difficult for me becuase I'm in the country so I can't see anyone. Also reach out to as many people as you can talk to your friends and family about it and don't give up. Believe me being alone is so much worse than having someone with you.