I feel like I'm failing not only Uni but everyone around me

[harmomarmo]

Hi there!!

Im an 18yr old kiwi girl who moved to Aussie this year for Uni.

I am a naturally shy and introverted person so I find it really hard to meet new people. I'm also socially awkward and not much of a party type. Whenever around friends now, I feel so out of place, especially when in a group. I feel like I always say weird stuff and will ruminate on what I said in the conversation for days.

Another thing which brings down my confidence is my acne. I can't remember a day where my skin has been clear for the past 5 Years. Whenever I go outside or talk to anyone, I feel like they are staring at my skin(even though I know no one gives a damn).

Everyone around me in uni is always at events or socialising but about 95% of my free time, I'm alone - which is a lot of the time considering I only have 12hrs of uni a week(which I have been skipping a lot of).

I feel totally isolated from the world most of the time. So, I just sleep and surf the internet. On quite a few occasions I'll sleep at 8am in the morning and wake up at 5 pm in the evening.

I am currently so unmotivated to to anything. My procrastination has gotten worse and I haven't handed in my assignments for over a week. I'll have sudden flashes of inspiration and feel motivated. But sometimes I'll feel like I'm letting my parents, friends and teachers down.

I've tried to fix my habits by trying to get a job. I even got a trial run but I slept through it but I didnt even feel anything about it.

I also feel like I haven't chosen the right course at university but I don't want to change because I'll have to pay international fees due to the new regulations for NZ students studying in Aussie.

It's funny because in the past, although I was always apart of the more awkward group, I've never felt this way. I was a scholarship student who joined all the clubs, had hobbies and felt motivated.

I feel like such a dissapointment especially to my parents which is why I keep lying to them whenever they call asking whether or not I'm sleeping well, or I'm eating well. I also know that they aren't doing the best financially so I don't know what will happen if I happen to fail this course in uni in FIRST year.

I haven't really told anyone about how I really am but I hate feeling weak and self-pitying.

I don't know why I'm so unmotivated to do anything and always procrastinating. Is there anything I can do??

Thanks for getting through all that. ;))

First time user

harmomarmo

[ro63]

Hi Harmo,and Hi fellow kiwi,firstly can I say this you are not weak by any means ,you are here in a different country studying by yourself that is proof that you are indeed very brave and please be proud of yourself for that ,it is hard being away from family and also the added pressure of uni and your own expectations is very difficult for anyone and many would have thrown in the towel long ago .You haven't because you have the courage to see it through , as for being socially akward i think we all are in some way but please try not to beleive you should try and fit in with other people ,if they are worthy of Your freindship they should try and fit in with you .life is too short to waste it on superficial people ,and my so also has very bad acne and it does affect him too, but remember that acne goes away but your good heart will last you all your life ,you will get through this slump and you will succeed ,being here is proof of that ,can i also suggest you find a good yoga place they are generaly full of good like minded people and is also very good for anxiety ,i wish you all the very best ,Ross.

[quirkywords]

Hi Harmo,

welcome. I remember I just moved from Sydney to Canberra for uni and really felt that I didn't belong there and felt I was drowning in my studies. If you spoke to some of the other studnmets and people were honest many would feel like you.

Could you find a sympathetic counsellor on campus a studies centre who could help with a plan to get through this year. ? There is help at uni and hopefully you can make that first step in finding help. When you worry about everything it all seems overwhelming that sometimes talking to someone who deals with problems about studies and being away from home can be a relief. It is worth a try.

Take care

Quirky

[harmomarmo]

Thanks for the advice. Ill definitely try to find some like minded people. It's probably due to my limited amount of relationships that has brought me to Thisbe state

[harmomarmo]

Hey Quirky

thanks for the reply. I'll try to get more into clubs and start socialising with others. I'll have a look around the uni to see wether they have support or not. :))