I dont know who i am anymore

[Unicorndogge]

Lately i just feel like i am getting dragged along not doing anything useful. The thing is i am pretty much useless, my anxiety is bad i cant even do what most other people can do my age and now i just have no motivation to learn because i know i will stuff it up or not go anywhere with it. I dont have a job, i dont study anymore and now that i am living with my nan its like i feel trapped even though i was in a worse position at home with my dad smoking weed with most of my inheritance money. I don't know what i am good at, liking something is not enough anymore because i know that i will be alone forever.

[Unicorndogge]

There is no one it doesn't matter how hard I try I always fail at everything I do, I want to be normal and happy like everyone else my brother is five years younger then me and his doing a lot better then me. No one will ever want to have friend that is dumb and useless or is a burden.

[smallwolf]

What are some of the things you do each day?

[therising]

Hi Unicorndogge

I can see where you're coming from, wanting to fit it with everyday kind of people perhaps like your brother does. I suppose the kind of people I'm talking about are more so the people I connect with whenever I go to a particular place that holds what you could say are soulful courses. While everyone who meets comes from different walks of life, we all meet to actually know ourselves at a deeper level, at a natural or soulful level and that's what connects us. In reconnecting with people outside this group, we always go back out with a greater level of self understanding. It's a bit like 'Ahh, that's why I do what I do and that's why I think what I think'. I've found it's self awareness that gradually changes the relationships I have with people around me.

Have you ever considered connecting with people in search of greater self understanding, outside of coming here?

🙂

[Unicorndogge]

No I haven't, and I just don't think I can I am stuck. I feel like my nan has control over me. I have to cancel the physiologist appointment just because this lady needs to ring up about payments but it's not like I can't do it another time. Now I will probably have to wait another 2 weeks to talk to someone. STUIPD WORK HAS DONE THIS I shouldn't of even worked today but they asked me and has usual I said yes. All this job has done for me has made me feel like I am useless. They throw me on front counter and I am expected to understand this all by myself then the fact that I work at McDonald's I have to fast and I am not fast enough so what do I do then panic. I have almost anxiety attacks everytime I am there and the only reason why I haven't quit is because of nan and she thinks I am selfish but all I can say is she is the one who is ungrateful. I give up my happiness for her

[Guest9337]

Hi Unicorndogge.

I still like how you express yourself, that's highly readable writing, thanks.

My spider sense tingles when you say your 5 year younger brother is doing better than you. Well mate that's probably because he has a particularly articulate older brother! Yep YOU. It's a known and accepted bit of educational knowledge that often enough, being able to talk with older siblings helps people be more social, and smarter and more successful.

You may recall the story of Geoff Hunt Aussie Squash world champion, well he was the younger brother and learnt lots from his older brother who wasn't as "good" at squash after a particular point in time.

Front counter work at Maccy's is probably pretty challenging and stressful, I reckon friday and saturday's rush hours be very busy. Breathe, breathe, one task at a time, concentrate on that task, get it done, don't take customers insults personally, forgive work mates for they are stressed like you, speak up about small things stressing you or that need improvement. Stay on one task at a time. repeat, have a break! done job mate!

Happiness is achieved after satisfying work and play and spending time with family friends and oneself.

good luck, dng.

[Unicorndogge]

Haha your post made my day.

I am actually a girl and the my profile picture is a drawing I did of my Russian penpal, he wasn't talking to me for a while but he all of sudden came back out of nowhere last week.

I don't see my brother much anymore 😕 but i don't like how my dad leaves him all by himself in the house for weeks on end. I ring him up every once and again to see how his doing but he somehow seems to manage better then me even though I am technically not alone. I live with my nan but she is starting to get so controlling, I want to move out but I fear that if I do that I won't have enough money because at maccas you don't earn much. I could try get another job but it's like what can I do if I can't do a good job at the job I do now what will I be good at?

Well yes it is like hell on Fridays not sure about the weekends because I never usually work those days but I bet it would be the same. The problem is I can't really do one task at once because they expect you to do so many things at once and people think that just because it's maccas it should be out in a couple of seconds to a minute. We are so understaffed in there one person makes coffees and the mcafe food. One person is on drive thur. We have about 3 people in the kitchen. I don't know how everyone remains so calm. There's no time to have even one break in there unless it's not busy but even so the managers always want you to look like your busy, if your on a hour day shift don't expect to get a water break. Like i worked 5 hours straight yesterday without anything to drink.

I don't have any friends unfortunately

[Guest9337]

Afternoon Unicorndogge, I apologise for getting ur sex wrong, woops.

You do have a friend fortunately, me. Im just a bb friend but there it is, something hey.

dng

[Unicorndogge]

It feels as if no one is listening to me, I can't do this anymore

[Sophie_M]

Dear Unicorndogge,
We’re so grateful to have you reach out to our community this morning and are so sorry to hear about how you are feeling. Times like this can definitely get overwhelming . We hope that you find our forums to be a safe and supportive space to talk through your thoughts and feelings. Our community is here for you. 

We hope you know that there is always help available to you, whether it's from our professional mental health counsellors Beyond Blue (available 24/7/365 on 1300 22 4636) or our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).
Keep checking back in with us whenever you feel up to it. 

[Guest9337]

If people were listening to you, what might you say?