I'm almost 15 and lately I have been feeling like everything I used to be good at I am now terrible at, I can't focus in what used to be my favourite subjects in school (Science and Maths), my spelling has been getting worse and worse lately to the point where I can't even tell if I am spelling words correctly or incorrectly.
Sometimes I just feel so out of it that I can't bother even pretending to be ok, but when my friends ask me what's wrong I just lie at tell them that everything is wrong, but this doesn't work of course and they can tell I am lying, but it sort of feels like they just don't care enough to dig deeper, or maybe they are and I am just pushing them away,
and among many other things, (rapid changes in appetite, extreme tiredness 24/7, lying to get out of social situations, that sinking feeling whenever someone calls my family that the call might be for me, not having the energy to do things that I used to enjoy such as videogames and drawing, etc.) the worst part is that I can't tell anyone that I am feeling this way because if I do I know they will think I am lying because my sister was diagnosed with major depression and anxiety disorder and my best friend was diagnosed with extreme OCD, Anxiety, and severe manic depression to the point of self harm.
It's not worth telling anyone because among the reasons in the paragraph above, if I tell someone they will just dismiss it as me thinking I have a disease because I used to be a very bubbly and charismatic child, but lately I have just had a quiet and false front that is a poor attempt at feigning kindness.
I just feel so bad at what makes me ME, I feel like I have lost my identity.
