How to stop myself from feeling worthless?

[Lilac1]

I honestly feel worthless, I have never posted before but I feel so alone I had to share. How can I stop feeling worthless?

It just doesn't magically go away, I've been through a lot of lies, loss and heartbreak. I keep it in because if I don't everyone around me worries, gets upset and doesn't understand. Nobody understands and it would be selfish of me to bring them down as well.

Why do I feel worthless? I've lost, been very badly lied too, left like I'm nothing and hurt so badly. I give my all, my happiness is making others happy and all I seem to do is fail. I can't make anyone happy, I'm the second choice, I get taken advantage of because of my kindness and it hurts, it hurts so much.

I'm trying my best, I get up in the morning, I put on that fake smile, I try to workout, go to my basketball games but I end up laying in bed crying at night, feeling worthless and useless.

I've tried telling people, I told someone close I felt worthless and that I'm down. They replied with I'm making them feel worthless by feeling this way.

I'm lost, alone and feeling worthless. Any advice would be welcome

I hope people experiencing the same feelings know that I'm here and happy to listen because everyone needs someone to just listen and understand.

[youth_21]

I feel like I was reading my own post. I feel the exact same way. I put myself out there to only fall back and it really takes a toll on me. But we need to look at life from a different perspective, it's all about confidence. If you love and expect yourself for who you are, you will have a stronger outlook on life and the right people will fall into your arms. You may not see it now, but it will happen. You are NOT worthless, no ones better than you. Keep fighting...Hope to hear back from you. Like I said, you are not alone. "Everybody hurts" and everyone has been lied to, rejected and been heartbroken...

Sorry if this didn't help i'm new here 🙂

[Lilac1]

Thank you so much, it's really nice to know that I'm not alone and there's someone else who understands. I'm new here too

[Croix]

Dear Lilac1 with a wave to Youth_21~
First I’d like you (both) to feel welcome here in the Forum. You two do have a lot in common with shared experiences, but more than that you both have that really great characteristic – you look outside yourselves and want to help others. This comes across Lilac in your final line, and for you Youth in the fact you posted here to try to help – which it does

Although my remarks are addressed to Lilac1 you Youth_21 may find something for you in them too

Lilac - I guess our minds draw conclusions form experience. If we consistently try to help others, and even refrain from talking about our troubles so as to not bring others down it is reasonable to have gratitude shown and to be respected. To have the opposite – and be lied to - if it happens consistently does erode feelings of self-worth – you feel terrible

Lying in bed crying at night, feeling alone and of no value and being lost is no way to live, it is horrible. Putting on that mask may make others feel better, but is not good for you. After all if you have to hide you, then it looks like you are bad enough to need hiding – which is rubbish

The fact you do manage workout and the games is pretty good under the circumstances.

I guess the first thing is to see your GP and say all about things, how long it has been going on, how it affects you. If you think it is going to be too hard then write it down and hand it over. Use a long appointment.

If you are under 25 and can’t get to a doctor because you are at school, have parents that won’t take you – or some other reason – I’d suggest contacting Headspace (1800 650 890) or the Kids Help Line (1800 55 1800), both of whom are very experienced with younger people under 25 and easy to talk with

Apart from that it helps to build yourself up so you see yourself as a worthwhile person. There are a couple of things that help. Have in your life regularly every day something you really enjoy – just for you. This not only gives you something to look forward to but makes the back of your mind realize you are a person that is entitled to be rewarded

As well try to not set yourself up for failure. Set small goals you stand a very good chance of achieving. Instead of trying to make another happy (which may be impossible anyway) just pick on one thing – maybe just saying something encouraging, or tell a funny story, and leave it at that. I would think you get the idea

I hope you (both) continue to post and talk here

Croix

[quirkywords]

Lilac and youth-21

Croix has written a helpful post so I won't repeat what he said.

Lilac and youth_21 I am so glad you both shared your story here as this is a friendly, supportive, nonjudgmental and caring place. I think it is great you both want to help each other and others like you.

Lilac, It is awful to feel low and worthless and then not have someone understand when you try to tell them how you feel. Unless someone has experienced this feeling it can hard for them to have an insight into your moods.

What I like about you is though even though you are not feeling well you offer to listen to someone else who is feeling like you. That shows how worthwhile you are that even at your lowest you are thinking of helping others.

Quirky.

[Lilac1]

Thank you so much for the advice, I really appreciate it

[Lilac1]

Thank you so much, I really do appreciate the support

[White_Rose]

Dear Lilac and Youth

Lovely to welcome you both to the forum. It's a good place to talk and no one will lie to you, tell you horrid things or be unkind in any way.

Croix has spoken about being taken for granted. I guess our minds draw conclusions form experience. If we consistently try to help others, and even refrain from talking about our troubles so as to not bring others down it is reasonable to have gratitude shown and to be respected. Sadly it does not work like that. If we spend a large part of our lives helping others we have nothing for ourselves. It can make you look as though you have nothing to offer, despite all the help and support you give others. Strange but true.

You are worthy of respect just for being you. Giving of yourself to others without any acknowledgement eventually means you run out of fuel. Croix suggests you do something every day just for yourself and it's right. You deserve to have good things happen. I know how hard it is to continue to give when there is nothing in return, when you push yourself to listen to others.

You feel worthless because others take advantage of you. Please look at your life and examine those times you do something for yourself. Not often I suggest. How much of your time is taken up being supportive to others? A great deal. Your lovely nature is being abused and taken for granted. So what to do about it.

First stop is your GP. If you find it difficult to explain, and I know how often I forget to tell someone something important, then write down all your feelings or copy your post and give that to your GP. Perhaps both. Feeling worthless is one symptom of depression. You may not be clinically depressed, I'm not a doctor so cannot say, but it appears you are in the vicinity. Book a long appointment and have a chat.

Keep writing in here and talking to us.

Mary