How to not be jealous of friends

[jay1998b]

Hi, so I have the best friends ever. That's kind of the problem. A lot of them are very mature, very friendly, very good looking, and successful in what they choose to do. They've achieved everything I wasn't or aren't able to. It's not like this is just a good point in life for them and a bad point for me - I've always struggled with the things they do well: making friends, dating, family, etc, and it's been an insecurity of mine since I was little.

It stops me being the best version of myself because they're the kind of people I've always looked up to, and I'm the kind of person I've never been able to stand. I don't want to make friends with people I don't respect just to feel good about myself; I want friends I like and respect, but that I don't feel inferior to - any advice? I believe this is a common problem 😛

Jay

[romantic_thi3f]

Hey Jay1998b,

Thanks for your post.

Absolutely this is a common problem! I'm still battling it now with years of experience 😛

There's probably a couple of things I've learned along the way that I can share, and hopefully some of that will be helpful -

Everyone, everywhere has their own struggles. It's kind of like we see an IG filter of other peoples lives, but what we don't see is the pain and hard work or whatever else they're going through. Like successful people for instance; who knows how many sacrifices they've had to make along the way, or debt they've gone into for studies, or late nights trying to meet that deadline?

You also talked about being the best version of yourself - what might that look like? If you could have a glimpse at the best Jay - who might he be? How might he spend his day? My guess is that the best best best Jay isn't going to be the same as the people you look up to.

and finally, there's 24 hours in a day. In a single day, how on earth can anybody become 'the best'? It's not possible! Naturally we all compare ourselves, but we'll always be better than someone else and worse than someone else. If we let it, it'll be a never ending cycle.