how do I tell my parents about my depression?

[skyblue18]

hi, I'm new to the BeyondBlue online forum but I thought it would be a great place to get some advice. for the last couple years, I have been struggling with depression and anxiety but it had been "minor" and manageable. within the last 6-12 months my mental health has spiralled down and I know I need help. I have emailed headspace a few times and they suggested/want me to get face to face support which I totally agree with. the only thing in the way between me and getting help is that I don't know how to tell my parents. I know that they will be supportive as I have seen it when they helped my older sister when she was struggling. I don't know why I cant tell them but as I approach them I panic and back out. I've been hoping that my parents will initiate the conversation that's why I have been waiting so long, but they don't know that I am struggling so, therefore, they haven't initiated any conversations. to me, going up and initiating the conversation myself is daunting but I don't know what else to do.

[startingnew]

HI SkyBlue and welcome to BB

im wondering if you had spoken to your parents as yet and how it went for you?

the others here have offerred some great advice. i like the one with writing a letter, i suggest that to quote a few and have found it helpful if your not good at actually talking to people.

[CJames]

Hi Sky,

I left myself a little note, which when I got back to my desk, I would reply. So here it goes.

Hope you had a good day at school, I know I did.

I don't believe depression is a stupid excuse to get attention, nor do I think it's easily curable. I think it takes a lot of hard work to get up going again.

I understand entirely regarding your situation with your mum, though we argue a lot I still love her very much. It's just sometimes we don't see eye to eye which is okay.

Year 10 the big one zero, I absolutely loved year 10 I remember having a blast with my English teacher, she was soo good. How do you find your teachers? Is there one you have a connection with?

Soccer, it's cool, but I don't watch very much of it, more of a UFC fan... Do you often play a fixed position? What are you best at? That's really unfortunate that the male team receives more attention than the female squad, female soccer has recently become more popular, especially in the news. Is there someone you can speak to about this or?

Regarding your friend, it's seriously good to have someone close and in your case two friends, when you're not arguing about boys and other things .. (Idk as a male is that what girls gossip about? 😉

Especially with men, they don't often like to talk about their feelings, and it can be quite hard to get the jist of what's going on with someone when they don't speak.

I would certainly disagree that depression or anxiety is not a big deal, it can control you and shape your life. I'd say that's a pretty big deal.

I wish you luck with your friend group change; our group went through this earlier on this year, unfortunately, it didn't go too well. So best of luck there, let us know how it goes?

I like your attitude around surrounding yourself with positive people, keep it up 🙂 It's good you have taken the courage to step up and discuss some of your options with someone. It's excellent to speak face-to-face with someone, I especially like it, if I don't know them, I believe it's much easier.

As startingnew said, keep us updated on how it goes speaking to your parent's, we truly wish the best for you.

Music's sooo good, urghh, have you heard that new one by Billie Ellish & Khalid 'lovely'?

I can tell this hasn't been one of my best responses, so sowwy about that one.

Keep us informed,

Best of luck,

C.

[skyblue18]

no, I haven't as of yet I am thinking of doing tomorrow (Wednesday), i will tell you how it went after i do it. 🙂

[skyblue18]

I did have a good day thank you for asking. It was weird at first because I haven't been there for a month. this is because I went on a soccer tour to Europe (England and France) for a couple weeks and when I came home it was school holidays. unfortunately, I am stuck with the "bad" teachers this year, that is a part from one, my photography teacher. she's amazing!

in answer to your question, no, we don't generally argue about boys, we generally just joke around and talk about memes haha.

i do understand what you mean about men sharing their feelings as i do have a few friends who are boys and i do agree that they don't tend to share their feelings a lot which can be annoying but i don't judge them for that, they don't have to share if they don't want to.

no, I haven't heard that song but I will make sure to listen to it. I am a fan of Khalid so I'm sure I'll like it.

with your post, don't worry about it, it made me smile so its fine to me 🙂

I will tell you how tomorrow unrolls. thanks for the support, i don't feel as alone about the situation anymore.

Sky,

[CJames]

Hi Sky,

Looking forward to your outcome, I believe it will be positive.

A trip to Europe, what?, that's soo cool, Why didn't you mention it earlier? What was the best part? (Spill the beans..)

It can be weird not seeing your friends for a while; it's like what do I talk about? Urgh. I hope that went well for you.

We all have that one teacher; we connect with, you know they understand you. What do you do in photography? (What a stupid question, Duuh). The only reason I ask is that it's called Media at my school and it's not limited to just photography.

You sure you don't talk about boys, at my school, that's all they argue about. (It get's heated sometimes trust me there)

I completely agree with you regarding the dudettes, but I do believe sometimes they need to share, often quite hard because they think it will question their masculinity. At least that's the way I see it.

OMGGGG, You haven't hurt the song. LISTEEEEN.

Sometimes I can reply with really helpful stuff, other times I just feel they don't help.

Catch ya tomorrow.

C.

[stormcloudz]

Hey skyblue, how are you going?It's great that you are finding some friends that work better for you, that makes so much sense. Also, I agree, lots of people aren't well-informed about anxiety and depression, so they don't really know how to deal. (We do ; ). Let us know how you are going.

C James - I like your posts too.

[CJames]

Hi Storm,

Just provide as much support as possible. I'm really enjoying it when I have time.

It's starting to become an ATTACHMENT 🙂

C.

[startingnew]

let us know how you go, will be thinking of you 🙂

[smallwolf]

All the best.

I know the situation will be different for you but each time I speak to someone about depression I then get their story. And some of these people have been dealing with it got 15+ years. What I am trying to say is you are not alone and it more common than we want to admit. I am hopeful that you will get the support you need. If you can be cured... then good. Otherwise be satisfied in the knowledge that you will get the tools to manage it.

Again, wishing you the best.

[Tasman_Hodges]

Could I suggest you read Girl over the Edge, a memoir about lived experience of mental illness