How do i help her!?

[ducky5897]

My girlfriend is severely depressed and is in a constant battle with herself to keep from self harming and on occasion committing suicide. She wont talk to me about it or anyone else because she finds it embarrassing to let other people know her personal life. We often have periods in our relationship where we don't talk because when we are at school its like we are just friends and not even good friends, just the friends that acknowledge that the other is there. 

I really don't know how to help her when I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to help herself. She wont see a doctor or even someone she trusts to talk about it. what do i do!!!!????

[white knight]

Hi,

its isnt an easy question to answer. but I would try to be the one person in the world she will one day open up to. She needs a lifeline, someone she can trust to offload her inner mind. You can be the one.?

You will need to wait for her to trust you. that could take a long time. You will need to take baby steps to achieve this.  Mention to her that you are there whenever she wants to talk, day or night, that you will let her speak (let her do most of the talking), be warm and gentle, assure her that your conversations are between her and you only.

That's all you can do. It is risky. You might lose her if you are not careful. That decision is yours. But eventually you might get close enough to convince her to seek medical advice...

[AGrace]

Hi ducky,

WK has given some sound advice. I can only add that if your girlfriend is experiencing thoughts of self harm or suicide it's worthwhile telling a trusted adult. Are you able to chat with your parents, or even her parents about your concerns for her? I know it might feel like going behind her back, but she really does need some support.

I also wondered whether you've taken a look at any of the resources for young people? The following link will take you to the youth section, where you'll find a wealth of information. Click on the HELP SOMEONE YOU KNOW tab for some more assistance. You might even like to suggest to your girlfriend that she can contact Beyondblue by phone 24/7 and via web chat from 3pm - midnight.

Thanks for being so concerned about your girlfriend, it takes amazing courage to reach out for help in these situations, and you've taken a big step by coming here.

AGrace