how do i help a loved one with depression

[tazza]

Hi, my sister is 14 years old and she has depression, she is becoming distant from the family and including myself like we used to be really close when we were younger and now she has become so distant from me, what do i do ? Also, when ever i try to help her with something like i'll ask her if she needs help with her homework and she'll yell at me saying that she doesn't need my help and it makes me upset because i just want to be there for her. And she hates if i post a photo of us together on social media and she got so angry at me the other day and it was crazy how mad and upset she was, how do i fix this?? why does she get so mad, like she has rages where she just takes her anger out on someone even if they didn't do anything wrong?? I have talked to my parents about this and they talked to her and we took her to a session to beyond blue and then we haven't been back because my parents get so busy with work that sometimes they forget. Can you help me out please 

[Chris_B]

Hi tazza, welcome to the forums. Not sure where you took your sister for a session, I'm thinking it may have been Headspace as beyondblue doesn't have any physical offices where you can get counselling. 

We have a phone line, webchat, and these forums for providing support, as well as information resources. You may find this section of our website helpful in supporting your sister.  

Can any other members of our community provide some thoughts for tazza?

[blondguy]

Hi Tazza

Paul here from the forums and I can understand the pain you are going through right now. It would be awful for you and your parents to be going through this right now.

If I may ask you Tazza, has your sister been diagnosed with depression by a GP or a doctor? I have had depression for many years and remember being like your sister...combative..argumentative etc. Her being as re-active (or snappy) as she is at her age can be depression, however it could also be her hormones combining with pressure at school/peer group pressure/fitting in...This is so very common at her age.

My own daughter showed the same behavior at 14 and after I visited her school psychologist I found out that it can be common....depending on the factors I mentioned above. You mentioning that you are unable to take a photograph with her can be a sign of low self esteem. If I may ask you Tazza.....does your sister have any difficulty 'fitting in' at school? For example...does she have a friend...many friends...no friends? It would be good to know so I could help you more.

When people (yes even your sister) are distant...it can mean that they are having trouble coping with something or many things. If you could let us know a bit more background it would enable us to help you further.

With the information you have given so far...The depression could be a factor...but any chemical variations (hormones etc) can also lead to some of the behavior you have been going through.

If you can let us know about her friends....does she have any?...Even 1? How is your sister going at school with her results? That could also factor in here. Any other info that you think is important can be a great help

Thankyou for having the courage to Care and post too!

If you wish please let us know any extra info...There are many wonderful people here on the forums Tazza...Your input is not only loving about your sister but also helps the BB Forums as well

Kind Thoughts

Paul