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BeyondBlue New to this Forum? Please read this first!
  • replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with tho... View more

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

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JWolf17 Anxiety and depression affecting all aspects of my life
  • replies: 3

Hey everyone. I'm 18, male, and in my first year of university. I've recently been dealing with levels of anxiety and depression that I've never dealt with before. I've always tended to have good days and bad days, and I've never felt as though I've ... View more

Hey everyone. I'm 18, male, and in my first year of university. I've recently been dealing with levels of anxiety and depression that I've never dealt with before. I've always tended to have good days and bad days, and I've never felt as though I've been completely stable emotionally, but now the bad days are turning into bad weeks and my moods and anxious feelings are getting worse than ever before. At my worst, I've considered self-harm, but I haven't gone through with it yet. I only have a couple of friends that I feel comfortable talking to about this, and even with them I'm beginning to feel like I'm becoming an annoyance. I feel like I treat them more like therapists than friends, and that's not how I want things to be. I haven't said anything to any of my family members. I don't feel comfortable talking to them about this. They're a great family (I live at home with my 2 parents and 3 of my brothers. 2 of my brothers have moved out), but mental issues have never been brought up by anyone. The idea of my family finding out scares me, so I hide it from them as much as I can. I recently had my first ever counselling session with the counsellor at uni, but it didn't really help. I ended up feeling uncomfortable, so I didn't really tell him the full extent of the issues I've been having. The adjustment to uni has been difficult. I don't have many friends, and the friends I do have seem to be becoming more distant. I want to make new friends, whilst keeping my old friends close, but I have never been good at socialising and I have no idea how to talk to people I don't know. I've never had a girlfriend either, and I can't help but feel completely unattractive. My self-esteem is at an all time low. If I can't like myself, then what reason does anyone else have to like me? Along with that, I've been falling behind with assignments because I can't motivate myself. I've also experienced heavy anxiety during lectures, at some stages finding it hard to breathe properly, feeling really uncomfortable and just wanting to leave as soon as possible. I'm wondering whether my anxiety and depression are on a clinical level. I'm feeling hesitant to get help. What should I do?

_eeeemilia My anxiety is stopping me from completing my university assignments.
  • replies: 2

I've struggled with anxiety and depression from about the time I was 16. I'm now almost 22. It started as a result of friendship issues at school, including bullying. As a result of this, I began to associate my school work with these bad feelings, a... View more

I've struggled with anxiety and depression from about the time I was 16. I'm now almost 22. It started as a result of friendship issues at school, including bullying. As a result of this, I began to associate my school work with these bad feelings, and I became more and more anxious with every assignment and piece of homework I had to complete. I saw several psychologists and a psychiatrist, and I've been on medication for almost 6 years, although my dose has gradually reduced from 2 tablets a day to only half a tablet. This is a significant improvement for me, but I still get that anxiety when it comes to completing assignments for my university degree. I've found myself avoiding doing the work and then avoiding my tutors in order to avoid getting 'in trouble'. Part of my issue is that I also have mild OCD and perfectionist tendencies. This perfectionism combined with my anxiety makes me feel like I would rather not submit anything at all than submit poor or sub-standard work. This stems from having been a high achiever throughout my schooling, until about the time when my depression and anxiety developed and appeared. I think I was always anxious, but it was when the depression showed itself that the anxiety stopped me from being productive and ended up hindering my schooling. I've also found that the anxiety continues into my relationship. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years, but I still get anxious and jealous when he has extended contact with other females, even though I know there's nothing going on. I trust him, but I also don't at the same time and this worries me. I do get social anxiety and I have trouble making new friends. In fact I don't really have any close friends apart from my boyfriend. I think this is also what makes me feel jealous and anxious about his relationships, because I'm jealous of the fact that he can make friends so easily and I can't. I don't know how to do it, I feel like I don't open up enough or I say something too open too early on. I'm always afraid that people will think I'm weird and dislike me. I've been able to manage my depression to a degree, particularly in the last 6 months as I've started doing aerial arts as a hobby and form of exercise, and I think that finding a form of exercise that I enjoy and doesn't feel like exercise really helps. I really need some advice to control my anxiety, I don't want it to affect my life more than it already has.

SaeDi93 New To The Forums- My story
  • replies: 3

Hi I am SaeDi. For the past 10 years I have had severe depression but only a few years ago sought help and was diagnosed. It is a struggle at the moment because my boyfriend has never experienced depression or the like and he can't understand why I f... View more

Hi I am SaeDi. For the past 10 years I have had severe depression but only a few years ago sought help and was diagnosed. It is a struggle at the moment because my boyfriend has never experienced depression or the like and he can't understand why I feel the way I do. Recently it has become harder to manage since I was diagnosed with D.I.D (Dissociative Identity Disorder). There aren't many people I know with it... and it is hard to find people who are sincere.

StressHead93 Just been diagnosed, need some reassurance.
  • replies: 10

I've just been diagnosed with anxiety and have been referred to a psychologist. I know there are others out there like me but I feel like the only person in the world who feels like this. I have acute anxiety when it comes to just about everything. L... View more

I've just been diagnosed with anxiety and have been referred to a psychologist. I know there are others out there like me but I feel like the only person in the world who feels like this. I have acute anxiety when it comes to just about everything. Leaving the house is a struggle and the only time I leave is to go to work. Recently I have been having persistant headaches, dizziness, extreme fatigue and seizures and have had every test under the sun to find out why. All the tests have come back clear, and my doctor believes I am having these symptoms as it is easier for me to feel physical pain than emotional. I have no one to talk to about it. My parents don't believe in mental illness and have a "get over it, get on with it" attitude, but that is a lot easier said than done. My best friend who I talked to about everything died 18 months ago. I feel completely alone without her and I know I'm not coping. My parents have tried to get me out of the house to meet new people, but the anxiety that comes with doing something out of my routine is enough to send me over the edge. I need help, and I think the hardest part of all is admitting that. I'm 22 and have done nothing with my life. I have never travelled, never gone to a nightclub, never studied, never get into relationships and never thought about what I would like to do with my future because the stress and fear that comes with it is just too much. I only work part time because I constantly worry that something will go wrong at home. Is life supposed to be this hard?

Zeraxero Loss of ambition and only want to exercise.
  • replies: 8

Hi i know i posted here about a week back but im having a common problem that alot of people have with depression and thats just feeling empty and finding 0 enjoyment out of everything. The only 2 things i can even bring myself to do anymore if exerc... View more

Hi i know i posted here about a week back but im having a common problem that alot of people have with depression and thats just feeling empty and finding 0 enjoyment out of everything. The only 2 things i can even bring myself to do anymore if exercise and lay down as i have trouble sleeping. I just want to keep riding on my exercise bike but at 2 hours a day my councilor told me to take it easy as he saw through part of the reason i am doing so much exercise and having 0 regard for my body. I have already lost 3 kgs this week and i just want to keep doing more and more but i am in pain and so my councilor told me to take it easy as its a form of self harm. So what should i do i dont feel excitement doing anything and ive already spent 2 days this week in bed doing nothing bar getting up for exercise. Ive lost all drive for everything else and even things i used to do no longer hold my interest and just feel like a chore , including self maintenance and relieving my sexual tention. I already do mindfulness but just want to do my exercise and sleep or even better just exercise and completely space out and keep going for hours on end without noticing. Again sorry for posting i feel like i hog space that others deserve to use and just wish i had insight to comment on others posts to help out.

demuredawnigan The Gradience of Blue
  • replies: 2

The title goes out to just about a majority of Beyond Blue members - and, here I am, another young female individual diagnosed with high-depression and anxiety. In a matter of days, I'll be able to mark 5 years of endurance for my suffering, under on... View more

The title goes out to just about a majority of Beyond Blue members - and, here I am, another young female individual diagnosed with high-depression and anxiety. In a matter of days, I'll be able to mark 5 years of endurance for my suffering, under one of the two most common mental illnesses of this generation. It's no surprise though, I mean the world is beyond fix. As the newly registered girl, like most of you, I'm searching for people (around about my age - 18) whom are able to understand and accept my shitty mentality. Because really, isn't that one of the things the youth of today absolutely crave - to be understood? That, and to be OKAY again. In saying that, I mean to no longer be dragged down by unexplainable sadness and moderate confusion, everyday. It's difficult. It's very difficult. Dawn - that's what I prefer to be called. I want to help the world, but I've yet to be helped myself. I seek a tight bond with people - whether it be domestically (family), friendship or romance. Long-lasting relationships is what I crave in humans. And that's it - that's what I'm here for.

K94 Why am I not okay?
  • replies: 3

ive lost all sense of who I am, I feel extremely alone even though I live with 20 other people I cry all the time and I'm always tired and rarely get up before 10. I don't know what to do!! I just want to feel happy again!

ive lost all sense of who I am, I feel extremely alone even though I live with 20 other people I cry all the time and I'm always tired and rarely get up before 10. I don't know what to do!! I just want to feel happy again!

digit_ Scared to take pills, anxiety?
  • replies: 6

Hey all, I've posted a couple of threads on here but I've forgetten to mention this in my others but it's slightly different so a new thread is probably fine anyway. I have panic disorder, health anxiety and social anxiety, I have panic attacks all t... View more

Hey all, I've posted a couple of threads on here but I've forgetten to mention this in my others but it's slightly different so a new thread is probably fine anyway. I have panic disorder, health anxiety and social anxiety, I have panic attacks all the time and due to the health anxiety I was scared to take any sort of medication, anything like panadol, antibiotics, viatims, maybe because I was scared it would make me sick or die?? Anyway my anxiety got sooo bad I got prescribed my first ever prescription anti depressant and I was very reluctant to start them as I was TERRIFIED they wouldn't do what they were suppose to do and just make me sick or die.. I took them anyway because I somehow convinced myself in my state that it would help, that's what they're meant for; and first week I was panicky and scared and nauseas and even into 3 weeks after that, and it seems to be fine now when taking my one anti depressant a day now that I've realised they've started working but I still get a little anxious on bad days and even panic when I do take it( not a reaction to drug as it's literally as soon as I swallow it and beforehand aswell) but they're good and have helps ALOT with panic attacks, so changing isn't necessary but I'm still scared of other medication, even if it's really important I take it like anti biotics, anyone else like this?

MsCroft Explaining my depression to my mum... (Spoken Word poem that helped me)
  • replies: 1

Mum, my depression is a shapeshifter. One day it's as small as a firefly in the palm of a bear, the next it's the bear. On those days I play dead until the bear leaves me alone, I call the bad days "the Dark Days". Mum says try lighting candles but w... View more

Mum, my depression is a shapeshifter. One day it's as small as a firefly in the palm of a bear, the next it's the bear. On those days I play dead until the bear leaves me alone, I call the bad days "the Dark Days". Mum says try lighting candles but when I see a candle I see the flicker of a flame sparks of a memory younger than noon I am standing beside her open casket ,it is the moment that I learn everyone I will ever come to know will someday die. Besides Mum, I'm not afraid of the dark, perhaps that's part of the problem. Mum says I thought the problem was that you can't get out of bed. I can't, anxiety holds me a hostage inside of my house inside of my head. Mum says where did anxiety come from Anxiety is the cousin visiting from out of town that depression felt obligated to invite to the party. Mum, I am the party, only I'm a party I don't want to be at. She says why don't you try going to actual parties, see your friends. Sure I make plans, I make plans I don't want to go to I make plans because I know I should want to go I know sometimes I would have wanted to go it's just not that fun having fun when you don't want to have fun Mum. You see Mum each night Insomnia sweeps me up in his arms dips me in the kitchen in the small glow of the stove-light Insomnia has this romantic way of making the moon feel like perfect company. Mum says try counting sheep, but my mind can only count reasons to stay awake. So I go for walks, but my stuttering kneecaps clank like silver spoons held in strong arms with loose wrists. They ring in my ears like clumsy church bells reminding me that I am sleepwalking on an ocean of happiness that I cannot baptize myself in. Mum says happy is a decision, But my happy is as hollow as a pin pricked egg. My happy is a high fever that will break. Mum says I am so good at making something out of nothing and then flat out asks me if I am afraid of dying......No Mom I am afraid of living....Mum I am lonely. I think I learned that when Dad left how to turn the anger into lonely the lonely into busy so when I say I've been super busy lately I mean I've been falling asleep on the couch watching Sports Centre to avoid confronting the empty side of my bed but my depression always drags me back to my bed until my bones are forgotten fossils of a skeleton sunken city. My mouth a bone yard of teeth broken from biting down on themselves. The hollow auditorium of my chest swoons with the echoes of a heartbeat.

Shannanabanana Lies. Lies. Lies.
  • replies: 5

hello i'm so sorry to post again in such a short space of time but I really want to know if there is anyone else having something like this happen. When I talk to someone I tend to lie. A lot. About stupid things things that don't even matter. I don'... View more

hello i'm so sorry to post again in such a short space of time but I really want to know if there is anyone else having something like this happen. When I talk to someone I tend to lie. A lot. About stupid things things that don't even matter. I don't even consciously do this the lies just slip out of my mouth. If someone questions it I just cover it up. Even when my mum asks me if I did something my first response is to lie and then I correct it and tell her the truth. I don't know why this happens does this happen to other people? Thanks for reading Shannon

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