Self pressure, life is suffocating me

[Mdk]

Basically I feel like I'm alive, but am completely dead inside... I have all these things I know that I want but I just can't handle it. My head is all over the place and I feel like I just need a time-out from life. I've never been suicidal because of the fact that have always been the type of person who wants to go explore the world and experience things, but I just don't wanna be here like this.. It's like my mind is trying to kill me off, and the part that is fighting for the adventures just doesn't have the energy to actually get out there... I'm actually from Europe but moved to Australia to live and work for year - which so far has involved me putting myself out there and getting let down time after time... I just have no fight left in me and yet I feel a pressure from within to get out there and the conflicting feelings just kills me.. I've been in Sydney for about a month now and I have achieved literally nothing. I hate my life and myself at this point.. I almost wish I was suicidal - at least that would be choosing a direction, but instead I'm in limbo and I don't know how to get out. My parents back home are insanely worried about me and are trying to tell me how helpless they feel that they can't do anything for me, but I don't even have room in my head to deal with their feelings about it. I don't even know my own thoughts, let alone have room for them and having to worry about my parents - which then makes me feel even worse for being "selfish"... 

I honestly don't know what to do..

[CraftyDivaz]

Hi Mdk,

Not sure what I can say to help, but I believe I can almost understand what you mean. (I say "almost" cause I believe unfortunately no one is ever really fully able to understand what other person feels 100%)

Sometimes feeling like we r in limbo can be from trying not to accept our plans not going as quickly or directly towards what we want. If from realising that we don't really enjoy what we wanted in the first place.

It sounds like anxiety from not being able or belief of not being able to reach your wants & dreams? You're more then welcome to correct me if my understanding is incorrect. Sometimes we ourselves or life events keep us from fulfilling what we want from life/ourselves & it can cause confusion & unhappiness. Or it can be hard accepting how different our life events are from what we want? Sometimes we need to re-evaluate & re-plan what we want versus what we are able to achieve in life. Sometimes we need to keep searching for extra plans of how to get what we want, ie other extra steps you may need to take b4 you reach your goals. 

Please don't take offence if I've misinterpreted what you were saying etc, I won't be upset if you disagree etc.

CraftyDivaz