How can I help my girlfriend when I can't even help myself?

[Harley_Arabella]

Hi,

My girlfriend has depression and is seeing a therapist, but she claims it's not helping. I've started asking her how her day was to make sure she's doing okay, and she says she's always sad, except when she sees me. Her biggest problem is opening up to people she doesn't know, and the person she opens up to most(her best friend) isn't qualified. I really want to help her, and that's one of the reasons I eventually stopped putting it off and joined BeyondBlue. The problem is that I myself am not happy. I don't know what it is, but sad has become my default emotion, and I've realised I just really hate myself. My family has a history of mental illnesses but I'm still scared to talk to my parents, I haven't even told them I have a girlfriend yet. I just don't know how to help her when I can't even seem to be able to help myself. Advice would be greatly appreciated.

[white knight]

Hi HA, welcome

I very much understand. My wife has depression and I have bipolar and crumbs of depression anxiety etc.

It isnt so unusual for both members of the couple to have a mental illness however imo its also likely her condition has effected your happiness (no fault of hers).

Either way both of you need help. As there are several conditions that can result in sadness you need a correct diagnosis.

Fear of your parents is horrible. You don't state your age so that has importance. I think you really need to sort some of this out.

It is common for patients to not open up to therapy for some time. Its also hard fir the therapist to get to know her in a short time.

Once you and you gf have settled in your relationship then break the news to your parents. They are just strict because they care. Let then down gently.

So I suggest you visit your GP and feel free to browse this site for some guidence. Eg use google

Topic: dysthymia- beyondblue

Tony WK