Hey guys

[Sarah0901]

To be brief: Ive been feeling very nervous for a couple of months, (4-5 months), and have been having random depression (3 months). But as of late I’ve been having random crying sessions. One was long and it was hard to stop, the others were brief. I feel extremely worthless. k10 score: 36

I’m a girl in high school, with all the hormones and all that. Something was happening to me and a person a while ago, and when I felt uncomfortable with it, I reported it. It was hard coming to school after that. I felt like reporting it was the biggest mistake of my life. There’s not a day where I think “you would only have to deal with one thing a day, now you deal with hundreds.”

I feel very anxious coming to school. I feel like running home so no one sees me go. I want to transfer schools but I don’t want to leave my friends. I’m ruining friendships and family relationships because I feel like they don’t understand. I sleep with a self loathing feeling every night.

When Im with my friends I get happy and that sad feeling is there but I turned it off, it’s only there a little bit. That’s why I find it hard to take myself seriously. I can just feel happy now, so why was I sad then?

I feel like these feelings are just a combination of my insecurities, the bullies and just my hormones. But I just want to be happy and value my little free time without my emotions being like this. I want to smile like it’s not forced. But I’m scared if it gets worse. Sorry if it’s a mess and long. Its 1 am and I have school today.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Sarah,

I hope it’s okay if I extend a very gentle and caring welcome to you to the forums. I feel things sound really rough on your end lately...

You sound really down and school (understandably) seems to be a trigger for your anxious feelings. Those crying spells sound exhausting too...I feel your pain and sadness...

It must be horrible to have to wrestle with those feelings of self loathing. You sound very hard on yourself...

Personally, I think it’s okay to feel mixed emotions. I think it’s okay to feel happy at times. I think that just because you sometimes feel happier, it doesn’t mean your sadness is any less real or less valid. The way that I see it is emotions exist on a spectrum and it’s okay to slide across different parts of it...

I’m really glad you decided to reach out here, and I think you were very courageous to report what happened to you. That’s not an easy thing to do so well done...

I’m wondering if you’ve spoken to anyone like a school counsellor about how you’re feeling. It’s just a gentle suggestion so it’s entirely up to you but I’m thinking it might help to talk to someone about how you’re feeling. You might even like to show him/her your K10 score if you’re comfortable to share that...

Otherwise, and you may have heard of them already, you might like to look up Headspace online as they provide a range of free services to help young people with various mental health issues. Perhaps that’s something you might be interested in...

Plus it’s a given that you’re most welcome to come here to vent, share your feelings, etc. There’s no rush or pressure but if you feel like it, it would be nice to hear how things have been for going you since your first post.

Kind and warm thoughts,

Pepper

[rubyonyx]

Hey I’m also in high school

i don’t know if this would be of any help but something I do when I’m anxious is on a blank piece of paper or column of my notebook draw swirls that connect to each other sort of like vines. As I draw each swirl I breath in and on the next one breath out. This always helps me stop feeling anxious, even for just a little bit

holefully someone else can offer advice better than this but know that you’re not alone and everything will get better

also totally relate on the not wanting to blame hormones for worries and thinking people may not take your worries seriously cuz your in high school(?)

[startingnew]

hi Sarah and also rubyonyx and welcome to you both.

im not far out of high school so can understand how your both feeling. Headspace, kidshelpline and reachout are all good services worth having a look at for supports for people our age as well.

Sarah do you parents know how your feeling? do you think you could tell them for extra supports? a trusted teacher, school counsellor or another family member would be helpful as well. support never goes astray.

hugs to you both, hoping things become easier for you. hormones are hard to deal with!