Hi Puppies,
First of all, welcome to the BB forums, you are always free to talk about anything you like. Secondly, just want to point out that we are not professionals here, and we all suggest you should seek contact with those in a better position to help should you urgently need help, such as Headspace and Lifeline.
Having said all that, Just want you to know that we will try our best to help you here as well.
To me, it sounds like you are unsure of yourself and which direction to go, to the point where its even making you question your self on things such as how you look. Many of us have been there, not saying its a phase, it can be quite crippling and damaging to yourself, and because you sound quite young, you dont have the experiences to rely on in the past as someone of an older age could rely on some memories to help push them forward.
I am not sure if this advice is helpful to you, but it has helped me many times in the past to push on, and that is that you look to what your dreams are for your life, how you want to live it, and then work hard to get to it, and dont give up on them dreams, even in years from now, when you are passing 70+ still keep going for those dreams. Before you know it, you have had one hell of a journey that you can be proud of, full of good memories.
As for the crying, even at my old age, we still need to shut ourselves down sometimes, sure it happens less, but thats because we have the experience to be able to shrug a lot of it off (which isnt necessarily a good thing either).
Always keep this in mind, no matter how bad you might think of yourself, beauty isnt for us to see ourselves, but for others to see us, so dont trust your own judgement of yourself, to yourself, you always will look plain and simple, but to those that matter, you will look like an angel, in more ways that one.
I hope all this helps,
Terry
