Hello idk,
Welcome to the forums, I am really glad you found your way here and thank you for reaching out to us. I am so sorry you have had a long wait for a response, it is not usually this long, there have just been a lot of posts to respond to recently. If you reply to this post, I will get a notification and reply within a few hours, that's a promise.
I am sorry to hear about the difficult time you are going through, you are a difficult age moving from child to young adult, there are so many changes during those years that it does feel overwhelming. I am not a young person but I do remember what those years were like to get through, not easy at all.
I am wondering if you did speak with your school counsellor? It would be helpful if you feel comfortable with them.
One thing I would like to impress upon you is that it is really important to talk about the things that concern you and not push them down and try to forget about them. When you do that, you cause yourself a lot of stress that can avoided by just talking with a trusted adult. You can do that here, you are not alone in how you feel and this is a safe environment for you to talk about whatever is concerning you, without judgement.
I would also suggest reaching out to the below helpline, it is run by professionals who talk to people your age everyday and understand the issues that you face and can help with advice or suggestions about where to go for help in your area. There is likely to be a wait to speak to someone, but please don't let that put you off, it's important to speak to people who want to help you get through these difficult times.
Kids Helpline – available 24/7 – up to 25 years of age – 1800 55 1800
I have been dealing with iron deficiency recently too so I empathise, it is so physically debilitating. It's also difficult to keep control of emotions when you are feeling so fatigued, try not to feel bad about lashing out.
I think that the hitting yourself is a way to relieve your frustrations, could you perhaps redirect your hitting to an inanimate softer object like a bed or pillow or perhaps even look at boxing as an outlet for that pent up energy. Even if it is a home made punching bag that you can hang in the garage and use it when you feel the urge to hit yourself.
It does sound like by making yourself busy, you are avoiding what is concerning you and that is okay for a while but eventually you will have to deal with those feelings and it is better for your health to face them as they come up than to let them build up and overwhelm you.
I was a terrible time keeper and still am to a large degree, some of us are just built that way and it can also be because we have too many things on our mind at once that time seems to disappear before we realise we are running late again.
I would like to suggest that you look up 'Elaine Aron HSP' on the internet. You will find a description of this personality type. I am a HSP and there are many of us on the forums and I think you may be one also. HSP is short for Highly Sensitive Person and there are about 25% of the population that fit into this description. We feel things at a deeper level than the rest of the population and as a result have a more difficult time dealing with the things that others seem to be unbothered by. I would be interested to hear if you feel you resonate with the description, you may find it explains a lot for you.
I hope this helps and I am happy to continue the conversation if you are comfortable doing so.
Thinking of you with care,
indigo
