Young people

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Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

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Why am I so bad at keeping friends?

replies: 2

I just graduated school, and I'm realising I never formed any close friendships. I have one best friend and one close friend that I will try to maintain contact with after school. I don't know why I am so bad at becoming close friends with people because I have acquaintances and friends but no close friends. It feels like everyone is close friends but I have no idea what I'm doing. It's worse because I feel scared that all my friends that I'm "close" to, actually don't reciprocate my feelings and think of me as a regular friend. It scares me that I'll grow old and I'll be lonely. It makes it worse that all my friends have started drinking when they're going out but I'm still too scared to get drunk and I only started trying to drink a couple of weeks ago. I feel like I'm socially stunted because I can never find the right words, or am accidentally offending people, or I'll come off as weird so recently I've realised that I'll avoid talking in group settings. I feel like I have no common sense or critical thinking skills, and I have no spacial or geographical awareness. I feel like I'm a bad friend because I always forget everyone's birthdays and don't really buy them gifts, and I am a bad listener because I always zone out. Everyone tries to baby me because I'm so socially inept. I don't know what is wrong with me. Is there anyway to learn how to act like a normal person? I just want to have close friends.

A fear I've Never Told Anyone

replies: 2

I'm not really the kind to aerate my problems for the whole world to see, but I know people on here are usually quite honest. I know what I'm going to say may come across as trivial compared to so many of the stories on here (my heart goes out to you all), but it matters a great deal to me. I think first and foremost i should make it known that I'm quite a big girl. I'm not morbidly obese to the point where I can't walk or my health is putting me at risk, but enough to have been bullied almost my whole life for it. I've done so many things to try and lose weight and it just never works, but I digress. Growing up, I saw all my thin friends get crushed on by guys, and then going into high school, boys always wanted them, but little to none ever looked my way. I've had my fair share of relationships, yes, but almost all of those were just because we were 12-13 years old and felt pressured to be in relationships. I dated a guy when I was 17-18, and as much of a shit show that was, he was my first real love. I want to be loved in the same way everyone else wants to be loved, but I fear it may not be in the stars for me. Anytime I've ever really expressed it to anyone, I'm always met with the same response: "You're young, you have your whole life to find someone", or "There's someone out there for everyone", or the infamous "Love will come when you least expect it." It's so draining. Yes, I'm 19, and I do have my whole life ahead of me, but it only makes the feeling worse. There are so many people (especially in my generation) who hate fat people just for existing.Because of my weight, I'll never get the genuine love I crave so badly. I've always been the girl who's good enough to have sex with but never appealing enough to be loved out loud. I sometimes feel like I'm just the dirty magazine a boy stuffs under his mattress so his parents don't see. Every time I see couples in real life or online, I get this feeling in my stomach. I'm happy for them, but I hate them for it. It even happens with people I know. Almost everyone I know is in love or has kids, which are the two things I want most in this world and the idea that I may never get either of them haunts every corner of my brain. I could go on for hours and hours about this, but I think it's safe to say my point has been made. Again, I'm sorry if this all sounds like one big first-world problem, but I'm so tired of being plagued with the same thoughts every single day of my life for years on end.

University is so lonely

replies: 2

Because of my health I am isolated to protect myself from COVID. I started uni online to stay connected to other people. Unfortunately I have found university online to be more isolating as most of the university activities are not available to external students. I like my course but now I feel like I don’t belong here either. Has anyone managed to complete university online without feeling like a burden and unwanted.

Getting over someone

replies: 2

I live on a small island in Australia. I met this guy earlier in the year and it was casual fun to begin with. I wasn’t super into him at first but I started to like him not long after. We weren’t sleeping together at first but spent most nights together. We were partying a lot and we didn’t really spend a whole lot of time sober together. But we got along really well and had a mutual attraction. I could tell he was into me. He is a local on the island and wasn’t living here at the time, just visiting. We spoke for a while after he left and then one day he just left me on read. He moved back to the island a few months after and I was nervous to see him but he reached out to me and I could tell he was excited when he saw me. He told me he hadn’t been with anyone else since me and him. After a while of him being back something changed and he started to distance himself. We still occasionally hooked up. I found out he had kissed another girl and when I tried to ask to talk to him he avoided me. When I eventually told him, he didn’t really reassure me of anything and I told him it upset me. Then the season ended here on the island as it’s only a 10month seasonal work. So I left for 2 months and when I came back he told me he didn’t want to get together again. But we’ve had a sleepover here and there after that and hooked up. It’s really hard here because there isn’t a lot of males to meet and a lot of single girls. I know the day is going to come when I see him or hear about him with someone else. It’s making me paranoid and sad. I just wish he liked me back and I don’t know what went wrong or why he changed his mind. I know I shouldn’t get with him again but I like him so much that I’m weak when he wants to. Most often he doesn’t even really talk to me when we see each other out which is a lot because it’s a small island. But occasionally he will. I just don’t know how to get over him and be ok with him liking or being with someone else

17 year old son has left home

replies: 3

My 17 year old son asked to leave home after several months of feeling down and some medical illnesses that created low motivation and fatigue. He is a high achiever and he fell behind in school adding to his load and was often unable to attend school or attend Late not being able to get up. He would look low everyday telling me everyday he was screwed and there was no hope.He sees illness whether mental or physical as a weakness and says he can fix it himself. We tried to support him but everything we said appeared to be the wrong thing. After another heated argument he asked to go stay with his grandparents where he is currently, and making a go of it - attending school and is doing better which is such a relief. This has been very heartbreaking for us but we understand that this is what he needs and home is not working for him. We were sending him occasional messages letting him know we love him and funny photos just to keep the lines of communication open- he would reply occasionally but with neutral replies or questions back. In a 10 day period I phoned him once to chat about an excursion but then when the conversation moved to about him he lashed out asking “ what I wanted from him?…. And he ended up asking me never to call again and that he would never come home. He has been putting on almost a facade at his grandparents and school so I don’t know if it all just came out or he is angry with me for asking. This was 4 days ago- I know I just have to give him time and not call- I am heartbroken at the loss of connection - I think I used to be his “safe landing zone” but obviously not any more and he has fully blocked me out. I want to respect his wishes despite being so desperate to contact him- should I still send messages that I’m thinking about him? So lost to know what is best- he is sending a clear message that he wants to be away from us - it has only been 10 days but so hard to cope - we would love to be able to have some sort of contact even if he chooses never to come back but even this seems impossible right now. Any advice would be appreciated

I have been teased all of my years of my school

replies: 3

Hello, my name is Natalia and I have been teased and bullied. I remember I had cried and cried and all I thought about was to self-harm myself and hate my life. A couple of years later it was very best I moved to another school with the best supportive teacher and best network of teams who helped me when I was struggling. I have an important question for people like me if you get bullied all year what the point of continuing your life if the bullying continues all your life you can escape but you can't run from the fact that you are getting bullied.

Just wanted to talk

replies: 4

Just wanted to talk

Needing advice on relationship

replies: 3

Its a tricky one and its starting to make me feel crazy. I have been dating my bf for a year and a half and he has had this prob From the beginning when i talk to him about something he looks away or speaks pver the top of me about something totally different or when i bring up something i find interesting he walks away into the kitchen. Last night i talked about a book im reading and something in the book I found interesting, i was trying to talk and he just walked away into the laundry and said “can you help me”…. So i just said why cant you engage and listen and then we can get to this, you make me feel like you dont care and you are not even listening. So he shut down, put a wall up and didnt speak to me the rest of the night. I finally built the balls tp say hey can we talk, and he said “when i grew up my mum always picked things about my dad and i hated it, i dont want you telling me things you dont like” and i responded with this is basic communication and this is how we fix things and basically turned the whole thing on me how he feel not good enough and i ended up crying and apologising, now he went to work today, hasnt talked to me. Makes me feel crazy and thinking omg is it my fault?

idk a little vent ig

replies: 1

hi. im 14 and for the last few months my mental health hasn't been the best. i've been struggling for a while, when i was 11 i struggled with body image and since then continued to struggle with food. i've become so overwhelmed and it can keep me down for a while. it's hard for me to keep a happy outlook, especially when there's lots of people around, sometimes i just shut down and sit there. the smallest things can ruin my day, and even if i set off happy and feeling well i come back tired - im always so tired - and go to bed feeling like shit. i started today off happy but burnt out by 12; we have a group of 7, me and two other girls were at our lockers waiting for the other four but they didn't come, so we went to the bathroom and eventually figured out where they were, but that was my last straw so i had a go at them, i feel bad. then everyone started playing tag ig bc they could. i didn't play. i had already hit my limit, but normally i'm fine, i looked around to try and find another friend so i wasn't being a buzzkill but couldn't see anyone. so i just stood there in the middle of the oval trying to stop myself from crying, there was so much going on. thank god for my bsf, i tried to be fine but i wasn't. sometimes i'm fine but others i feel so low. i think i need help, but idk if i'm being silly.

Emetophobia ruining my life

replies: 13

Hi guys, I am new here. I am from New Zealand but I have family over here and visit often. We sadly do not have a “beyond blue” in NZ. I am in Aus right now, wishing I could enjoy my holiday instead of being anxious. Wanting to know if anyone here suffers from specific phobia anxiety, in particular, emetophobia? This is a fear of vomiting. I’ve been trapped with this phobia since the day I can remember. I have been in proper help for 6 years, I’m on very good medication, but it still disables me very much. A lot of people I open up to about this say “nobody likes vomiting”. But it’s not that simple. I am terrified of food, of eating, drinking, touching surfaces, taking medication where nausea is a side effect, travelling- I have very avoidant behaviours. I can not touch other people. I do all I can to avoid the possibility of catching an illness or getting poisoned. I think my own Mum is trying to poison me. I am always on the brink of a panic attack and just waiting for the trigger. This phobia gets better and worse over time, but right now it is very much “worse”. I am severely underweight and although I am an adult I look like a 12 year old. I am constantly obsessing over food and hygiene. I spend hours reading food labels. I can’t eat at restaurants/takeaways. I cannot travel with other people. I take unnecessary anti-nausea medication and go through a lot of hand sanitiser. This phobia is absolutely crippling, moreso because it’s unavoidable. You cannot avoid eating, or your own body. I am wanting to know if anyone else out there understands what it is like? or anyone with a phobia, anxiety or OCD in general. Thank you for reading, I’m sorry it’s so long. Hope to hear from people soon, I am still figuring out how this website works. Thank you- Newtonb18

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

Why am I so bad at keeping friends? replies: 2

A fear I've Never Told Anyone replies: 2

University is so lonely replies: 2

Getting over someone replies: 2

17 year old son has left home replies: 3

I have been teased all of my years of my school replies: 3

Just wanted to talk replies: 4

Needing advice on relationship replies: 3

idk a little vent ig replies: 1

Emetophobia ruining my life replies: 13