School problems and stuff.

[j_x]

Lowkey I'm chatting here because I don't know where else to go at this point. I started high school (private school) this year, it was fine at first but now I hate it. I have mixed feelings of being left out and being included, there are always problems or someone judging you for no reason. you might say this is normal for high school, but is it seriously to the point I dread even walking to the bus stop? My best friend turned on me, teachers can be really rude and it's so overwhelming and tiring. I've also had several social media issues to the point that I had to regain the trust of some close people and block off all platforms from my life (which is kind of a good/bad thing ngl) I've even broken down in tears during classes and this beyond blue k10 test thingy says I should reach out for support Music and painting are my escape from all of this, which I try to do more often but sometimes I can't do it at school, I can't even finish a book (and I love books). I want to do homeschooling but I'm afraid of what would happen to my social life, leadership skills and future appliance for unis. I'm thinking of starting counselling which my school offers but I need further advice, I've already tried finding new people to hang out with but it didn't do any benefit. I don't know what I should do and I'm probs going to stay at this school next year. Thanks, J.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome J

In teenage years its a whole new learning experience, some can learn street wisdom quickly and others not so fast. At that age we dont know what is normal, what isnt and if we should get help and whom from. It can all become too much.

So allow me please to try and steer you a little. People that are judgemental- they also include adults right up to the 90+ year olds, it's not just a teenage thing. Best friends can leave you over a dispute, so the best approach is to look upon friendships as a fluid, the ocean, they come and they go and the older you get the better at choosing them becomes. So in a way try not to get too attached to one or two friends but develop your many friends so that if one leaves you have the others.

Teachers being rude? ummm, well if I had to school a class of teenagers for hours each day I reckon I'd be snappy but, thats their chosen profession so what can you do? well show great interest in the topics, the one thing a teacher loves is to give them what they want, in your case give them enthusiasm.  Ask questions during class and if need be, follow them to the lunch room or in the passageway and ask a question that they will be impressed that you asked it. I call it "feed the teachers"

You sound sensitive. Highly Sensitive People (HSP) can include up to 20% of all humans. You might not be that sensitive but growing up can include so many changes in a short few years. This commonly requires a doctor to assess whether you have a medical condition like depression, anxiety or other. If you have any concerns of that nature then mention it to the school counsellor. BTW, the school counsellor is a good place to start. There isnt any negative with chatting to someone, in fact these triggers that you are experiencing lead to your discomfort and at a time when school study and concentration is needed they will help in the least allow you to vent.

As for problems daily with other students its always a good idea to realise that these conflicts also come and go. A few of those will feel guilty for following other mean students and come back to you are a regretful friend.

Best friendships develop when they weather the storms of conflict, not the ones you dont ever have a conflict with.

Your music and painting is a delight for me to read about. See, people without a passion are more lonely than us, they dont have an outlet. Your interests slide you into a pleasant world where bullies dont attend. My daughter was a teacher in art and math, her painting are incredible. I suggest you cradle those interests and place more emphasis on them than people that really dont deserve the space in your brain. 

Finally- home schooling, it rarely works as good but if in the future you conclude that you cannot function as the situations havent resolved then that might be the only option. We cant run from all problems though and the school counsellor could sort things out to make school more bearable.

You are articulate and you write very well. Have you ever written a story? Reading is good and writing your own is fabulous. 

Like this poem I wrote-

BOX OF TOYS

Not a sound as they dozed, two little girls asleep

First the little teddy bears would open their eyes for a peek

When it was all clear the fairies drifted down

To touch the toys on their heads, the animals and clowns

The soldiers marched up and down to front each face to face

Followed by a hug of love…a meaningful embrace

The dolls poked their faces up from beneath the little girls beds

To boss the little teddy bears and make sure they were fed

Then the clowns drove the toy trucks and Barbie’s did their hair

It all looked quite a miracle but the children unaware

Finally as morning came it stopped this night of joy

Instantly they all went back- to being just a toy

As the girls opened their eyes to the still of quiet and day

They imagined that box of toys were alive with love and play…

TWK

Reply if you like.  

TonyWK