Given up.

[Anonymouz]

Hi all, still surprised I'm actually writing this I guess I just had to get it off my chest since I don't really talk about it only to a psychologist which hasn't helped.. I'm just so done, everyone annoys me ( they only have to say the littlest thing ) , I have nothing to live for, no job, never happy. can't keep distracting my depressing mind with a computer/tv anymore. Only a couple friends which I'm to much of a snob to even talk to due to anxiety/depression so they're just drifting away...

I've been on different antidepressants for a few years now also and no luck...Safe to say that I don't think any will work and if so I'm just losing patience...I've read about people on here having depression for 5 years+ and just know that'll be me.. Sad thing is I'm only 20 too so you'd think I'd have a whole life ahead of me but nope...

Sorry for wasting your time reading this.. 


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[Zbigniew]

Hello Anonymouz,

I'm sorry that you feel the way that you do but please don't give up!  You may not see it now but there is always hope. 

As AGrace said in a previous post under inspirational quotes (Recovery Section) hope is that little voice in the back of your head that whispers YES when the whole world is shouting NO!  Please take the time to listen for the voice of hope

When i was your age i had similar thoughts and i did almost end it as i didn't see any other way out.  Now at the age of 41 i look back and i think to myself that if i did end it then i wouldn't have my beautiful little 5 year old daughter who brings me so much joy and who i love dearly.  I still do have my black periods but i also have hope.

Please get back to us and please remember there is always hope even if you can not see it right now.  What are your interests?

Please take care

Zbigniew:)

[Anonymouz]

Thanks for the reply I appreciate it...Yes I've been hoping for things to get better for a long time still no luck, And I really can't think of any interests apart from watching tv and coming on the computer, whether it be watching videos/listening to music, a game here or too, I'm a very boring person to be honest although I don't want to be, just can't seem to change it ...

[Elle-e]

I know it feels like it's all too hard and not worth it but trust me it is... I too was depressed when I was younger and had the same thoughts. 

Life can be REALLY hard at times but it's worth it. 

Small steps can make the biggest difference. Maybe try go for a daily walk. 

If you can reach out to your friends or family 🙂

[AGrace]

Hi Anonymouz,

Welcome to the forums, I'm glad some of the others have replied to you, and by the looks of it even referred to some of my threads.

How long do you think you've suffered with depression/anxiety for? How long have you been seeing your Psychologist? Was it a Psychiatrist who prescribed your antidepressants or just a GP?

For me anxiety started when I was 12, and depression kicked in after suffering Post Traumatic Stress when I was 15. I made my first attempt on my life at 17, and I can say I wouldn't be here today had I not had the support of others. Why do you find other people so annoying? Is it more personal frustration that's coming out? Or do you genuinely dislike these people? What has your Psychologist said about this?

If you feel like your treatment plan and your treatment team are not getting you anywhere I'd suggest you seek the help of a different professional. It's really important that you get the care that you deserve, and you are so young, so yes, you do have many many years ahead of you, and they don't all have to be as difficult as things are now.

In terms of a job. What would you like to do? Have you been applying for work? Have you studied? Or is this something you would like to do, so that your days are not so boring?

You mentioned that you don't really feel like you have any interests/hobbies. Is this just because of lack of motivation? Why don't you try some things out anyway? You might just find that you enjoy them. Perhaps try a sport, go to the gym, go walking or running, look at some of the groups that are offered at your local community centre, there's probably even some groups for people who like to play computer games, maybe even look at learning to play an instrument.

Are your parents/family supportive of you? Do they know how you feel at the moment?

Sorry for asking lots of questions, I really hope we'll hear back from you.

AGrace

[Anonymouz]

Such a late reply so you might not see this...

I'd say 15 the depression/anxiety started then got worse over the years.. I saw my psychologist for about 5 sessions, more than I expected I'd go too .. but I just seemed to dwell on the fact that I had a problem when I'd leave there and focus on my depression/anxiety more even though I know I can't avoid it.., and was not feeling it at all, don't really know how else to describe it..

 A gp prescribed me a couple of antidepressants but none worked so then I was referred to a psychiatrist which he then prescribed a few more which had no significant impact for me to notice...

In terms of a job I have no energy or motivation for one, I am studying at the moment but don't wish to do this, I wish I could say something you'd want to read but unfortunately I'm not happy with too many things in my life and would rather not be around anymore... And some members are a bit supportive, some don't even know, and the ones who are support still don't realise how badly I'm miserable .. I don't think a different psychologist/psychiatrist would do much, they all have the same goal...

 I'd honestly just rather be on dsp for mental health which will never happen and is depressing enough to even admit that, but I don't enjoy studying anything or working, I have no interests, just doing this course at the moment because it seemed the easiest..... Thanks for reading.