Friends outside of school, no friends at school

[spontaneous sunflower]

Hi! So I have started year 11 at a new school a couple months ago. Prior to moving here, I had many friends at my old school. I'm still in contact with them and we try to catch up as often as possible, although it is tricky as we are all busy with schoolwork.

I have been at my new school for 4-5 months now and I still spend every recess and lunchtime alone. Some days I dislike being alone, as I feel weird and like an outcast. Most days I use the free time to do schoolwork. I have anxiety so it is difficult for me to walk up to a group and ask to hang out, ya know? I talk to people in my classes but as soon as we leave class for lunch, I'm on my own again.

I am conflicted with this situation because on one hand, I don't mind not having friends to hang with at lunch at this school because it gives me time to study. It's also not like I don't have any friends whatsoever- I have a good group of friends outside of school. However, on the other hand, I get lonely at school sometimes and I have formal in a month and I'd like to go if I had a group to go with but I don't. When it comes to events like athletics carnival and graduation next year, it'll be pretty sucky to not have friends to experience that with. While I am an anxious and overthinking individual and am more of an introvert than an extrovert (I do fall somewhere in the middle most of the time though), I am not opposed to making new friends. I would LOVE to make new friends but I'm a bit awkward and shy upon meeting new people, I don't know how to have conversations with new people and I don't know how to ask to hang out at lunch.

Sorry for the long, rambly post but to conclude... help??? How do I go about asking people if I can hang out with them? How do I keep a conversation going? How do I get to know new people?? Also, I need reassurance that I'm not a weirdo for not having friends at school

😂 I try to tell myself I have the best of both worlds- my school life is strictly schoolwork and study, and my out of school life is mostly my own free time to do hobbies, be social, etc, etc. But I feel like I should have a social life at school too I suppose..

[quirkywords]

spontaneous sunflower- what a great name,

Welcome to the forum and well done for explaining yourself so clearly. Do you like writing, because you write well and concisely.

I can see your dilemma but also that you realise you have the best of both world.

I think all school friendship groups are different so I am not sure there is one method of approaching people.

Do you sit next to someone in class who you like and maybe is part of group you would like to join. If so can you just ask a question about the subject you both study. I find that asking people a question about themselves helps. Also buy you may not have time for this is to join a sports team, or a interest group at school if they have them.

So being interested in the other person, asking open questions, and finding something in their answers that they will reply.

Just a few ideas but unsure if they suit your situation.

Thanks again for sharing your story.

Quirky