Feeling so lonely

[Jqxmine]

Recently, within the past few months, at school every things okay, i have friends and we joke around but when I'm alone at night time I break down, and I'm at my worst because I'm alone with my own thoughts. I don't tell people this because they can't help, and my parents just say its a phase. Its awful because online Facebook chatting is just over a screen and i feel the need to tell someone and I'm really close with this guy but I'm scared if i confined in him i will just be a burden and annoy him. Its hard because my parents always yell and my sibling is younger than me but thinks she is superior an has authority and my parents yell at her and when they get angry, their angry and I feel whatever i do will tip them over the edge. I just feel so sad when I'm alone an i crave physical contact, not sexual but hugs from friends but i can't get to them because its so busy and at school is another world but i feel like i need someone to talk to and just express whats happening. People ask if Im ok and i can't say I'm good because I'm lying but i can't say not good because I'm just sad for no reason and i can't explain it, i just feel so alone 

[white knight]

Hi Jqxmine, welcome to beyond blue forums

There is much truth in the saying "birds of a feather flock together". Meaning, people of similar personalities of have similar interests commonly hang around each other.

When I was in school my friends were interested in fishing. We chatted every break about it. If a guy came along that had no interest in fishing he wouldnt get far into our discussions.

So have you any interests? A passion? If you do then seek out those with the same passion. You only need one good friend that you can hug and embrace as a very close friend. If you dont have a passion then that could be part of your problem because when we have a hobby we are focussed on it so much that we dont miss others company as much.

Use search to read the following threads that might help.

Boredom the closed door to fun

Being positive - whats the secret

Finally, parents can argue all the time. It doesnt mean they dont love each other. This is hard to understand. Siblings can be a pain, but one day when much older, they can be a close friend. Make sure you treat your sister like you would like to be treated regardless of how she talks to you.  Try it. The best form of love is the type you give to others. The worst kind of love is the one you expect and demand.

Take care  Tony WK

[geoff]

dear Jqxmine, thanks for posting your comment.

We have many young adolescents that post onto this site when they are going through school and a lot of them feel alienated and left out from the rest of the groups, plus they struggle at home, but although you do talk to friends at school, there is no affection.

Well having someone to cuddle and talk to is a huge emotional feeling that we all want and certainly need, to feel the love from somebody, it's one of the priorities in our number one list.

By having a cuddle from any parent is well a feeling of security, but it doesn't replace one from a friend or someone that we love, and when you do begin any relationship then a mutual love develops, the excitement of being close to someone where we share our past and present lives, and yes our ups and downs it's only natural that this happens, you want to know about his life and he does the same with you, because you are interested.

What you can do is just open up slightly to him, and what this will do is slowly begin the relationship, and after all of this can I just say please be careful. Geoff. x

[DaerOblivion]

I'm not sure if I can be the one to give you the best of advice but from my own experiences (yes, not knowledge because that is useless in this case) I can tell you that nothing is ever easy. Your life was and currently has been my life for the past four years. I've constantly gone through many things, and every single experience has left me with no one by my side except for my cousin, who, if I hadn't known from being related, I would have never met. The problem isn't you or your craving for physical contact. The only thing that I can say is different for you compared to myself is that you crave physical touch, the hug that someone would give you when they say everything is going to be alright, for me its the verbal words that are said that would really make a difference. I'm not sure if you'll end up just like me, but about two years ago I was the one who played the cheerful act but slowly it ate away at me until two years later I've become a hollow shell of what I could have been. I don't blame you or the people you are surrounded by, maybe its just that no one understands your thoughts and no one can make that emotional connection with you. If no one is aware of what you feel inside they will leave you, first hand I've experienced that, some may say that if you have a best friend since childhood they will try to help you but I witnessed my best friend of fifteen years leave me in the dust and make new best friends because she didn't feel the need to ever worry for me, it was a one sided friendship in the end that seemed to be ruined by my lack of caring. Loneliness has scarred me for longer than I think I can repair from, after being bullied by my friend of sixteen years, having people constantly not help me, a family who doesn't understand me, a mother who only ever treats me horribly, and no best friends, I can say that I can't give you help but the understanding that other people are going through what you are going through, and what happened can cause you to feel numb in the end. Doubts will happen, you'll think no one understands you and try to get away from them, it's inevitable.

--I hope life treats you better than it did to me.