Feeling lost

[gracie12]

I'm new here so I'm not sure if I'm doing this right..

I don't know where else to turn to, I feel so damn lost. I feel so useless and every time I'm with people I feel as though they don't want me around. I can't seem to find any good in anything. I'm constantly sick, tired and upset. I used to see someone about it but I have moved away so now I don't have anyone to talk to. I've tried talking to a few people but nobody wants to hear it, it just makes them angry and i feel so guilty throwing my problems onto them like that.
I panic about the smallest things and every little thing throws me of course. I have horrible self esteem issues, leaving the house makes me want to cry. I'm utterly sick of feeling this way. I get so upset and I feel like I am going crazy. I do stupid things and say hurtful things to people I really care about, I hate myself for it. I used to self harm and lately I have to try so, so hard not to resort back to that. I'm so scared and I just don't want to be here anymore. I know I have some beautiful people in my life which I should be thankful for but even so, I still feel so alone.
I just need someone to talk to.

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[Mbuna]

Gracie,

Sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. I know whats its like to feel like this and i also know about the hurtful comments. When we get depressed we often get frustrated and lash out without thinking. Its usually those closest to us that cop it. I think the last 6 words of your post sum things up perfectly. You do need someone to talk to. This website has a number of resources you can use. you can get access to a list of practitioners who can help you. Talking about your problems to someone who understands is probably one of the best therapies. People who dont suffer depression find it very hard to understand what we are going through. You need to talk to someone who understands the issues and who can give you a help in the right direction. Depression and anxiety is like a big black hole. Its very hard to drag yourself out of it and when you do its like you are sitting on the edge waiting to fall back in again. Don't allow yourself to fall back in. Fight the urges to self harm and go see someone. The good news is that the feelings you are having can be treated. Feel free to keep posting here. Most people on this form understand your feelings very well. Nobody will judge you here.

Regards

Mbuna