Feeling ashamed to be a White Male

[KFPDW]

I'm a male myself and I have NEVER EVER been sexist or disrespectful or racist to anyone ever. Not now, not EVER!!!! But I feel like what ever I come across in media, it feels like all I hear is "White Males Are Bad". When I watch shows like Charmed and I come across certain scenes where Males are regarded as bad people, it makes me feel uncomfortable. You got shows like the Neighbourhood sitcom that I came across where they cover racism where a black guy gets put in a jail cell for being black which is so NOT fair whatsoever. And the main lead says the police system is working the right way for white guys but not black people or any other culture. And white people will never understand whatsoever the pain other people go through. And they whole policeman beating up a black guy which leads to the black lives matter movement. 😞 I feel like I'm ashamed of all these bad things happening even though I have done NOTHING to do with anything of that bad stuff. But because of the long history I hear of white males doing bad stuff, I feel like I have to be responsible for that or feel as though it's my fault. It may sound silly but I feel like all I hear is White Males are bad and cause problems.

I feel like if I see someone in pain or needs help, I want to be able to help or show support no matter what their colour or background is. We are all still human beings after all and all this dumb bad stuff like racism and sexism shouldn't be around any more. Nor should it have existed in the first place. I hate the fact that bad stuff like this still happens and I feel helpless to see it pop up in media or fiction. I felt ashamed to be a white male so many times and my friend says I shouldn't, all that stuff isn't my fault and I shouldn't take on the responsibility of other people's actions that I don't even know. Focus on my own actions and what I can change. But because all that stuff happens, I feel like I get stuffed into a category where I'm a white male and are automatically the enemy. And no matter how hard I try to help and try to show that not all white males are bad, I feel like I can't make a positive difference. Like I'm powerless to make a positive change so people can see not all white males are bad people, or even white people in general. I want to be able to try and understand what others are going through as well as try to stop bad things from happening.

[Hanna3]

Glad if Tony and I and others have been able to help a bit! And thank you for your very nice replies!

You sound like a great guy!

🤗

[white knight]

I agree Hanna

Guys and girls like KFPDW are if the minority. Aware, sensitive and considerate, wonderful qualities. Such qualities should not be discarded in order to survive better in a tough society but channelled to enhance your life.

Rare qualities is awareness of another's misfortune, unfairness or persecution.

TonyWK

[KFPDW]

Aww thanks Hanna and Tony. ^_^ You've both helped make me feel better, which in turn helps with my mental health. And I agree with what Tony has said about being considerate of others can help enhance society better than just being tough all the time.

That being said, I hope things improve for you in the future. 🙂

[Hanna3]

Yes Tony my friend is a sensitive guy who as a boy was into books and music and had a hard time with bullying at school and at home from his Dad.

Why don't we appreciate these kind sensitive people more?

[white knight]

Thankyou.

Here is a link to what HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) is all about.

https://hsperson.com/

TonyWK

[KFPDW]

Not even joking, the way you described your friend is pretty much how I have been over the years especially in high school. I had been through difficulties with my Dad too and I have been bullied at school.

I agree that sensitive people deserve more appreciation.

[Hanna3]

Hi KFPDW!

It's a shame isn't it? I haven't asked him too much about it but he's quite socially anxious and I put that down to his childhood/youth. I remember as a kid at school seeing a very sensitive boy I knew getting bullied pretty badly, it upset me.

Is it because you don't fit into the "normal" guy behaviour and interests? So reading or music or studying rather than team sports like footy?

I got picked on heaps at school as I was shy and quiet. The same thing happened when I started work. I didn't have much self confidence. Bullies pick out an easy target!

How did you cope as you were growing up? Was that the problem with your dad too, that he expected a son to be different?

I'm anxious and I think we've become friends because we're both anxious and quiet!

I'd be interested to hear how you found growing up as a sensitive boy?

[Elizabeth CP]

I think there are lots of good white males. It is just that the bad ones make the headlines in the same way the bad examples of any group, race etc make the news.

I would like to share something from my family history to show what a difference an individual can make. My grandfather was in a very difficult position during the 1st world war due to his race. He had mobs trying to attack his family and unable to get decent work. Rather than getting upset he stuck to his values which included treating everyone especially his wife and children with love, respect and gentleness. My dad followed this example being a very loving & caring husband and father. I now see my own children following the same pattern going out of their way to care for their wives and children as well as reaching out to others who need help. I share this to show how one person sets an example that has a positive effect on all around them including their family.

[KFPDW]

Hey Hanna3! 🙂

My name is Jeremy by the way and yes you hit the nail on the head. I didn't fit into the typical guy behaviour. I didn't fit into any category actual. I liked Doctor Who and Red Dwarf but not Star Wars or Star Trek. I'm into animation and learning how to become an animator but I don't like anime. I got a black belt Taekwondo and I like skateboarding but I'm not a footy fan whatsoever. I don't swear or drink alcohol whatsoever and I never will. So I'm a mix of a lot of things which made it hard to socialise with people who were one thing or another.

And yes I would class myself as a sensitive boy and high school was hell. I had a supportive mum who helped get me into Taekwondo in the first place and sign up with a youth group program where I met my group of friends I am still hanging out with to this day since 2012 when we first met. It was a struggle but I just took it one day at a time. Plus I have a very active imagination which helped keep me busy over the years. Hence why I love art and animation. It has not been easy

My Dad has loads of problems which made life hard for me and the rest of my family. We all got caught in the blast and been trying to recover from the trauma for some time. He was so caught up in his own issues we faded into the background. He never expected me to be anything specific which is a small mercy but was hard on me though from time to time. I've forgotten most of what he did which in a way is a good thing. Makes it easier to move on to more positive things in my life.

[KFPDW]

It hasn't been easy for me but I keep fighting each day to get my mental health up into a positive state of mind. I rather be a sensitive boy and stick to who I am then be anything else. I will never regret that whatsoever.

I'm so sorry to read that you have been bullied in the past. You seem like such a nice person and you certainly don't deserve to be bullied whatsoever. And yeah, I happy to be friends with someone like you. 😄 🙂

If you ever need to talk to someone, I'm more than happy to oblige and help out anyway I can.