Everything is just so overwhelming

[alsatianwolf]

Just a small vent here. I am feeling so lost at the moment. I don't even know which topic to talk about because there's just too many seperate things causing me stress and anxiety right now. I can talk about one thing: I have often been getting into these awful moods where I can't even explain why I'm sad and angry and frustrated, I just am. And I just kind of sit around staring at nothing or resting my head in my knees and just existing. The slightest inconvenience causes me to cry. I could drop a pencil and suddenly I'm bawling my eyes out and all my problems snowball into a big angry heap. But the whole thing only lasts about day to a week and then I'm fine again.

I'm in a mood like this right now and I honestly don't even have the energy to keep explaining anything else. I don't have the energy for anything. It just feels like there's a thousand wasps in my head clouding my thoughts and making me feel so horrible. The only thing I feel like doing is getting in my car and driving until I run out of fuel. I feel bad because my mum is sort of trying to help me but I am so irritable and fatigued that I don't want anything to do with anyone.

The annoying part is I know this will only last a short time and then I'll be back to "normal" again but right now it just the worst feeling in the world.

[PamelaR]

Hi Alsatianwolf

That feeling of sadness and fatigue get to you heay? It's terrible - I get like that too. Though some how I've learnt to live with it, live through it, come out the other side being my usual happy, positive self. What causes this melancholy? Good question. For me it's - have I had enough sleep, have I watched something that's emotionally triggering (e.g. news, sad movie, violent movie), received bad news, someone's said the wrong thing. All these are triggers to send me into the spiral of anxiety (usually first), then sadness. I've found that identifying my trigger helps me to reduce my anxiety and subsequent sadness. As I become more proficient at the identification, the quicker I return to my happy self.

You'll find that others here are impacted by chemical changes in their body or brain. There isn't much you can do about these - unless you see your GP, get a diagnosis and the right medication.

Have you seen anyone about your changes in self, e.g. GP, psychologist, counsellor?

Kind regards

PamelaR

[Guest_4643]

hey alsationwolf, welcome. i like your username and profile picture. my Nana & Grandpa had a German Shepherd like the one in the pic but sadly it passed away (sorry to write that on your thread, it just reminded me of him).

anyway, i'm sorry you're struggling. if it makes you feel any better, i'm exactly the same lately.

do you have a professional you could talk to? we're here for you here but i just wanted to politely ask.

[alsatianwolf]

Thank you for the reply Pamela! I can definitely relate to the emotional trigger thing - it's usually something on my phone or something someone has said. As soon as I read it/hear it I can feel my heart physically drop and this feeling starts to balloon. It seems like such a massive reaction for something so small.

I have been to the GP to get a mental health plan (as my GP suspects I have generalised anxiety disorder) and I am currently talking to a councillor at Headspace but I am feeling like I need a tiny bit more help. The sessions are fine but it feels like I'm just talking about my problems but not actually getting any coping strategies or anything. I feel like it's hard because my emotions are always so extreme, I'm either fine or I'm completely spiralling, and I only go to Headspace when I feel fine, so they probably don't even know the extent I am effected by this...! And I struggle to open up properly and really explain how I am feeling.

Anyway, sorry for the ramble haha. I'm feeling better today.

[alsatianwolf]

Thank you for taking the time to reply! The pup in my profile is called Vega, she's our family dog and she's pretty cute 🙂

I think my response to Pamela can also apply to your question, see above ^

[Guest_4643]

no worries, and aw yes she is adorable.

it's ok to need a bit more therapy or a few different professionals, whatever you feel comfortable with. in terms of you not getting any therapy/coping mechanisms or whatever, i'm not either with my Psychologist (i speak to her over the phone). for me i was thinking of telling her we're not doing therapy and she told me we would, certain types.

maybe you could try that too if you feel comfortable? idk just a suggestion.

[PamelaR]

Hi Alsatianwolf

You're not rambling, not at all. Being free to talk here about what's on your mind, is what the forums are all about. I.e. to support others through those periods when they need it.

I can relate to how you don't open up properly in your counselling sessions. My partner is like you. Took me years to convince him it was okay to talk about things to another person. I think his adversity came from lack of trust for others. He eventually did it, but took a long time to get there. Chat away here as much as you like.

It took me a long time to understand about my feelings, I literally had to be taught by my psychologist. I was in my 50s when that happened. Lived my life fully (not sure how, but I was reasonably successful, just not very astute when it came to feelings). It was something that was missing from my childhood. Both my parents had undiagnosed mental health conditions. So I understand when you say you can't talk about them - perhaps it's something you're not sure about anyway.

I am surprised that your psychologist isn't giving you any coping strategies. I've learnt all my coping skills from the psychs I've seen. You will find a lot here on the Beyond Blue website if you do a search. One that helps me reduce my initial panic when I'm heading for an anxiety attack is - to do controlled breathing. It literally resets you physiological response to the trigger and then helps to start work (e.g. CBT or other strategies) on the cause of the trigger.

[alsatianwolf]

Hi again,

Thanks again for such a helpful response. I'm not really sure why I can't open up. It sort of feels like I am letting the counsellor down if I don't show improvement and I'm worried I'll just look like I can't stop complaining about my problems. Silly, I know. Plus I don't like to show any sort of vulnerability, and I always smile and joke when I say something that upsets me because I can't seem to be serious about how it makes me sad.

I'm sure there's some reason why we haven't gone over coping mechanisms but I don't know what that reason might be. I go in and talk about my week for an hour and then we run out of time and that's it. I still appreciate that in itself but I wish I could begin to actually work on the problem to help me overcome my anxiety/depressive episodes. Apparently I only have limited sessions with this particular counsellor before I'm handed over to someone else at Headspace so maybe she specialises in something specific.

I have tried doing some calming techniques just on my own, like breathing exercises and focussing on the present and the world around me etc. But they just don't work for me at all because I have such a negative view on things. Like, "this is dumb, it's not helping at all, why even bother trying it" or if I'm having an anxiety attack, I actually just get more anxious while doing the breathing exercises because I feel they aren't working and I panic more. I think my negative mindset is one of my biggest problems! So I see CBT as something that would probably be recommended to me but I truly can't see how it would work.

(Quick note about my parents since you mentioned them, they're divorced - my dad is, in my opinion, a narcissist, and my mother has a whole cocktail of mental health issues)

[alsatianwolf]

Just gonna open my own thread again to add some more things that have been troubling me. My education is currently a mess! I have a GPA of 2.6 because I withdrew from some units too late and they dragged my grades down with them. I want to switch Unis but I can't with such a low GPA. I feel stuck in this boring course and barely have the motivation to open assignments and look at them let alone start them. I fail things more often than I pass them and this constant failure has really gotten to me over time. I failed maths at school when I graduated 3 years ago so I don't have this basic prerequisite to 99% of the courses I would want to do. Everything is just FAIL FAIL FAIL. An exception - I thankfully passed an assignment I handed in recently but they don't give you any supportive feedback (e.g. Well done! This is good! Great work!) it's just "This needs work" "Why is this here" "Incorrect" etc. which makes my chest hurt.

I don't have a good time at uni anyway. I take as many alleyways as possible to avoid interacting with any other students due to extreme social anxiety and I only go to this one class and escape back home ASAP. I wear the same clothes every day because there's no reason to care about how I look. I despise group assignments because I am always the "dumb" one who barely contributes anything useful to the overall product. I wish I had a normal life where I could just make friends and join clubs and go to parties, then go home and study a bit and at least PASS the things I've been given. Feeling down again.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Alsatianwofl, 

We are sorry to hear that studying is causing you stress at the moment and that you are experiencing social anxiety as well. It can be really difficult to be trying to learn new and complex ideas while not feeling at our best. We want to thank you for reaching out and sharing how you feel - you never know when someone may read this and feel this along in their own feelings. 

There are a couple of things that we suggest to those who are finding their study really tough and those resources are below. There is a mix of phonelines and articles depending on what you think will work best for you. Please know that it is hard studying is tough and that it is normal to feel overwhelmed everyone now and then - this isn't to say it isn't tough, but that there is support out there. 

Phonlines
Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636
KidsHelpline 1800 55 1800 

WebChat - Please note these are not 24/7 but the phoneline above are!
Beyond Blue 
KidsHelpline 

Articles + Other resources 
Headspace - Study Resources
Headspace - Work and Study help
Beyond Blue - Social Anxiety Tips
Beyond Blue - New to study advice
ReachOut - Study Advice

We hope there is something useful for you there, please feel free to drop back in and let us know what you think if you are comfortable. 

Kind regards, 

Sophie M