Dear Hann
Congratulations on taking this step. I am so pleased you have got this far.
Being afraid of the unknown is natural so don't beat yourself up about that. I am sorry that you cannot have free psych consultations. I had not realised they were only for people with a health care card so I have unwittingly led you astray, so to speak.
I hope Medicare does not have a limit on the number of psych consultations you can have. I suggest you check all of this out at your visit.
What do you feel is the problem with the AD for sleeping? We cannot mention drug names here which makes it a bit difficult to comment. Try the other AD for a little while and see if that helps with sleeping. It may settle you down enough to relax at night and get a good night's sleep. Sleeping pills can be a problem and if you are unsure go back to the GP and talk about it. I was prescribed anti-histamines for sleep, which work but without the other potential side effects. I can only manage one quarter otherwise I sleep all day.
Can you work out why you feel terrible? Is it the stigma of mental illness? There is such a stigma attached to depression that those who have it are made to feel like social pariahs. And the really sad part is that we do it to ourselves before others can say such things about us.
Try if you can to say you have an illness, just like any other, and you need medication and care to get well. I know it sounds trite to say this but it is actually the truth. The differences are that no one can see your illness (no spots etc) and it may take a while to recover.
Confusion is also normal. When do you see your psych? Soon I hope. Tell him/her about your fears. In fact be as open as possible. Psychs don't normally eat people and should be caring and compassionate.
Take care and keep us posted.
LING
